Brad Pitt vs the robots.
It's not actually a competition, but I'll still let you guess who wins.
THE QUOTE đŹ đŹ
âDo you surrender?
Never⌠but I may scream.
I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.'â
hint: one letter
THINK THOUGHTS đ
So Pixarâs Elio didnât have a great opening weekend last weekend. Yeah, not every movie opens to a $100 million, so what, right? Well, as I mentioned last week, Pixar has had some pretty huge highs, so the expectations are a bit different than for your average movie.
And because everyoneâs opinion is suddenly the most important opinion in the world when a movie âunderperforms,â we had a bunch of explanations of why the movie opened to a relatively small amount (mind you, Elio could end up holding and playing for a long time like Pixarâs last movie, Elemental, did).
Disney's Disastrous Elio Marketing Is A Perfect Study In How To Fail A Good Movie - SlashFilm
Elio and the reason today's original children's films are flopping (TL;DR nostalgia and IP rule) - BBC
âElioâ Box Office Flop: Why Canât Pixar Launch Original Films? - Variety
So itâs either the studioâs fault for bad marketing, shitty audiences or because itâs an original story.
But which one is it? Do we really know? Because I thought nobody knows anything in Hollywood. Oh right, except when something fails.
This is exactly what I was talking about two weeks ago!
âBut the larger meta point is that it is hard to know what works and what doesnât. Even the people who have been doing it forever, very successfully, and have what seems like a template. Those people still donât know!
Well, except when something didnât work and it wasnât their project, then everyone always knows.â
If these people had written these articles a month ago then they might have more credibility. But now itâs reeeeeally easy to say, âwell duh, of course it didnât work because of X,Y,Z,L,M,N,O,P.â
I hope Elio plays forever and ever and becomes this huge success. Not that people would say anything different the next time, but still.
-
On a complete different topic, last weekend I went to see Ferris Buellerâs Day Off at an outdoor screening (Cinespia for LA folks), and when it was introduced, Ferrisâ famous line âLife moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.â was quoted.
Itâs a great piece of writing (although apparently it may not have been written at all as it was added at the last second by writer/director John Hughes). But it was Cameronâs line at the end, that actually hit and felt like the âtrueâ emotional core of the movie.
âI gotta take a stand. Iâm bullshit. I put up with everything. My old man pushes me around. I never say anything! Well heâs not the problem, Iâm the problem. I gotta take a stand. I gotta take a stand against him. I am not gonna sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. Iâm gonna take a stand.â
The bolded part is what really stood out. Itâs a more direct, and maybe mature, way of saying what Ferris actually does in the movie. He takes control of his life. Maybe in a brattish manner yes, but heâs still making active choices.
Anyway, I thought that was fun to re-consider and highlights why it can be worth watching a movie multiple times, especially years apart. You might just appreciate something different next time.
NEWSY BITS đž
Kim Kardashian Eyed To Star In âBratzâ Movie At Amazon MGM Studios - I know they want this to be Barbie. It will not be Barbie. - Deadline
How âJawsâ Made a Template for the Modern Blockbuster - a dissection of the template as the âfirst blockbusterâ turns 50 - New York Times
âThe Social Network Part IIâ in the Works with Aaron Sorkin Writing and Directing - I really hope they go with the subtitle âsmokinâ the meatsâ - IndieWire
Denis Villeneuve to Direct Next James Bond Film - I am very much ok with this. Although I might have been a bit more keen on seeing what else Villeneuve wouldâve made outside an established property, but still. - The Hollywood Reporter
NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) đ & đş
F1
Brad Pitt goes vroom vroom. Audiences go ooh aah!
Itâs real simple, right? Except of course, when itâs not.
Sure, the story of a has-been / never-was getting his "one final shot at gloryâ is an arc thatâs existed for some time. But itâs in the execution where the difficulty comes in.
It starts with Brad Pittâs nonchalant charm that may seem effortless, but itâs actually probably quite hard to make it seem like you donât care that much. He does have the quality about him in real life, but itâs still one thing to translate it to screen and not have it feel forced. Itâs kind of why heâs âBrad Pitt.â
Then thereâs the actual racing of the cars. Shoot some cool footage, slap it on to the story and youâre good right? Again, it might seem like itâd be relatively easy, but director Joseph Kosinski has been here before with Top Gun: Maverick and pretty sure he understands you have to make the audiences feel like theyâre in the cockpit.
Which is why they stuck cameras everywhere! Ok, not everywhere. They didnât like shove a GoPro up Pittâs ass. Although then again I donât technically know thatâŚ. ya know, no, there were not butt cameras. Iâm not starting that rumor.
But speaking of putting things where they shouldnât be, Apple pulled another U2 album and dropped an ad for F1 (theyâre the studio behind it) via an iPhone notification a couple days ago. This is supposed to be against their rules, but apparently only when other people do it??
Regardless, itâs not likely going to materially effect the outcome of the movie, which should be a good one for Apple. The reviews are very solid, with critics saying Kosinski achieves exactly what he set out to do (if some think the shots start to feel almost too close to the action), Pitt is as watchable as ever, and the most important part, the money, is looking like itâll be in abundance. Which would be a big deal for Apple as a studio and also for F1 as an ascending sport in America1.
It all might be enough to make you go aah ooh.
Out: Friday
Where: Movie Theaters
Details: 2 hrs 35 mins | PG-13 | đ : 86%
M3GAN 2.0
Hold onto your vaginas.
Sorry, that should be âHold onto your vaginas.â As I want to make it very clear that is Universalâs marketing department, and not me, saying that.
Now, thereâs nothing wrong with holding onto your vagina, ignoring the reality itâs probably quite difficult to do on account of the fact itâs more of a muscular canal than an object that you can just⌠whatever. Point is, they said it, Iâm quoting it.
And itâs very much the vibe theyâre going for. I.e. those âda fuq?!â reaction moments the first movie did such a good job at creatingâthe bear crawl chase of a terrified child, the random AF hallway dance interlude, the killing by paper slicer. These moments ultimately made the movie a delightful surprise for fans and critics. So itâs obvi there is a sequel.
And in a somewhat unexpected and yet actually kind of logical progression, they straight T2âd this shit.
âŚâŚ??
âT2â as in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Ya know, where the bad buy (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in the first movie transitions into the good guy and fights the new bad guy (the T1000 made of mimetic polyalloy) in the sequel? And just as that movie amped up the action, so does M3GAN 2.0. In fact, itâs basically a straight action-comedy now, eschewing its horror origins.
Critics, who again, loved the first one, say this bend towards bigger, does not mean moâ bettah, mostly because it leads to fewer da fuq?! moments since M3GAN is kind of a good âpersonâ now? Oh, btw, if you have no idea, M3GAN is an AI robot that killed a bunch of people in her quest to protect her creatorâs (Allison Williams) young orphaned niece.
Itâs not like theyâre playing this thing straight though, M3GAN will still don a wingsuit and a dress more befitting of an Austin Powers escapade than a traditional action comedy.
So yes, there may be some fun to be had, just donât expect it to be like your first time. Because honestly, is anything?
Out: Friday
Where: Movie Theaters
Details: 1 hr 59 mins | PG-13 | đ : 65%
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) đ
Ponyboi - a young intersex sex worker gets wrapped up in some messed up drug deal shit. The reviews say star (and writer) River Gallo is quite magnetic and even if the plot is ultimately a bit rote, the stylistic journey is personal enough that it allows Gallo to shine. - Limited Theaters Friday (VOD soon)
THE TRAILERS âŻ
Weapons - your next nightmare from the director of Barbarian has a bunch of kids running away from their parents. Well, a single classroom of kids to be exact.
The Fantastic Four: First Steps - final trailer for the first steps.
The Strangers: Chapter 2 - whyâd they make this trilogy? Because it was there.
Splitsville - divorce, marriage, sex, infidelity, non-monogamy. Not necessarily in that order.
Roofman - Channing Tatum is a thief who gets his heart stolen. Awww.
The Toxic Avenger - Peter Dinklage inhabits the violent green comic-book hero (not that one).
Sovereign - Ron Swanson goes full on.
Eden - youâd think a Ron Howard movie with Sydney Sweeney, Jude Law, Anda de Armas and Vanessa Kirby would be a bigger deal of a movie. And yet.
East of Wall - an âas you see itâ lived in looking story a la Nomadland where a horse trainer (the real life woman the story is based on) takes care of young girls on a dying ranch.
worth noting that star F1 racer Lews Hamilton produced the movie and acted as a consultant.