What's In Theaters: Of COURSE they opened THAT door!
CAN YOU GUESS THE QUOTE?
(answer @ end of email)
"Say! Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
What's In Theaters
A way to make yourself feel fluffiest inside.
Leave the last chapter of a book unread until right after the New Year and then finish said chapter on Jan 2.
Then you get to say, “Shit, it’s only the first week of the new year and I already finished a god. damn. book. SHAZAM!”
What does this have to do with movies?
Nothing, but it has everything to with what what we did yesterday.
In actual movie news, we watched I, Tonya and Call Me By Your Name recently which are both are excellent for completely different reasons.
Let us know if you watched either, would love to hear your thoughts.
Getting cutoff? Go here and click "the most recent edition."
New This Weekend
Insidious: The Last Key
AKA
"lessons in what not to do when creepy shit starts happening"
PG-13 / 1 hr 43 mins
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
Fourth (and prequel to the first, and sequel to the third..which was also a prequel to the first. wait, what?) in horror franchise started in 2011 about creepy things from "the further" that possess and haunt people.
First movie in the series was decently regarded, the others have been less so.
A 2nd or 3rd tier option at this point in a horror franchise, but if you like gotcha scares and stupid decisions, it'll probably satisfy.
FUN FACTS
Franchise is produced (i.e. shepherded and often financed) by Jason Blum who produced a ton of horror movies you know: Paranormal Activity, Get Out, The Purge and others. James Wan who created the SAW franchise helped create this series too.
Series had its monetary peak with the second film opening to $40 mil and making $83 overall (horror film franchises often peak early).
MUSINGS
63% <-- chance the studio considered giving this guy a role in the movie because #marketing.
REVIEWS
Lol. You expect to get reviews for a fourth entry in a horror franchise before the day it releases? Good luck.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD (context: highest, and only fresh, RT score this franchise saw was with first one, 65%)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
If the filmmakers promise to give us a key to a chest with a million dollars in it, sure.
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LAST WEEKEND'S TOP MOVIES
(4 Day Totals / $ = Millions)
1) Star Wars: The Last Jedi ($66.8)
Pew Pew Pew Wraaaww
91% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle ($66.2)
"Reimagining," players go into video game
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Pitch Perfect 3 ($21.7)
Aca Aca Aca... Choo?
31% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) The Greatest Showman ($20.9)
Hugh Jackman as circus showman (musical)
55% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Ferdinand ($14.8)
Bull who thinks love > violence
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Coco ($10)
Pixar X Dia de los Muertos X family
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) All the Money in the World ($7.2) NEW
Movie they reshot cuz of Kevin Spacey
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Darkest Hour ($7)
Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill
84% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Downsizing ($6.2)
Matt Damon shrinks to 5'' tall
51% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Father Figures ($5)
Brothers try and find real dad
22% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
Sneak Peek @ Next Weekend
The Commuter
AKA
"WHAT ABOUT 'NON-STOP' THO!!"
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's Liam Neesons! On a train!
And he's gots to saves it, duhs.
Cept this time he's an insurance salesman who gets wrapped up in a deadly conspiracy and apparently he watched a lot of Liam Neeson movies and thus has all the abilities to save the choo choo? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
FUN FACTS
Same director, Jaume Collet-Serra, as the other Liam Neeson action films Unknown, Non-Stop and Run All Night.
Their next co-lab together is apparently called Heavy Petting which is about an owner of a doggie daycare facility whose poodle is murdered by a pack of rabid cats who he fights to the death.*
*not true. But Liam Neeson's next film IS called Hard Powder, about a vengeful snowplow driver. For real.
Paddington 2
AKA
"awww, I mean just, come on, awwwww"
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Sequel for the adorable, affable, amusing and many other A adjectives teddy bear.
Film already has 64 reviews on RT and it's still 100%, so this looks to be as good as, if not better, than the original outing (which saw a 98% recommend rate on RT).
The story follows Paddington as he gets a job to buy a book for his aunt, which is promptly stolen by an evil-doer (Hugh Grant), who is promptly chased after by Paddington and crew.
Proud Mary
AKA
"not sure her mom would be though"
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Taraji P. Henson (Cookie on the show Empire) is a hit woman who apparently owns more leather than Mr. and Mrs. Grey combined. Her world gets altered when she meets a young boy on a hit gone awry.
Follows the trend of other female led action flicks (see: Atomic Blonde, Lucy, Ghost in the Shell) for their gender equaling ass kicking.
New Trailers!
FIFTY SHADES FREED - Feb 9, 2018
Second trailer for the climactic film in the series based on the crazy successful BDSM inspired novels.
DEATH WISH - March 2, 2018
Second trailer for Bruce Willis remake of Charles Bronson revenge flick (directed by Eli Roth).
TRUTH OR DARE - April 27, 2018
Another horror flick from the incredibly prolific horror factory Blumhouse (see Insidious: The Last Key above). If you don't tell the truth/do the dare, the game kills you. Kind of rips off It Follows if you've seen that.
SLENDER MAN May 18, 2018
A horror meme created on the internet, which then turned real when kids killed someone and said Slender Man made them do it, which is now a real, but fiction, horror movie.