What's In Theaters: 🔫's Don't Kill people, 👻's Killed by 🔫's Do.
CAN YOU GUESS THE QUOTE?
(answer @ end of email)
"Who wants cream? .... Nobody?
Ok! No cream!"
Really recommend you peep that Hereditary trailer. It's straight fire. And there is fire in the trailer too...
REMINDER: you can now add a film to your calendar in the trailers section so you 100% don't miss it.
Getting cutoff? Go here and click "the most recent edition."
Winchester
AKA
"Guns don't kill people, ghosts do! But only after they've been killed by guns... "
PG-13 / 1 hr 39 mins
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Do you OMG loove movies that involve a "haunted house?"
Do you positively squeal at stories "inspired by true events?"
Do you cackle uncontrollably at cinema that focuses on a "disturbed woman?"
Do you just die when your tales of "vengeful ghosts" also act as a commentary on American gun culture?!
....?
Well three out of four ain't bad.
Helen Mirren plays this "disturbed" widow of the famed Winchester gun maker; she builds (and builds, and builds) a house after misfortune befalls her family in hopes of locking in the angry ghosts who she believes are causing this terror.
But she's disturbed so this can't be happening, right...?
You (excitedly): ...wrong!!
Can you just not? We're trying to do our thing here.
*ahem* Wrong!
See, now it just didn't have the same impact. Moving along...
If you know the horror film The Conjuring, you can probably thank it for Winchester's existent (Conjuring is also a period haunted house horror movie and made bonkers $), and use it as a reference point to determine if you're interested in this one.
Note: every quote we used was pulled directly from the official film overview. Nothing like familiarity.
FUN FACT(S)
There is an actual house that the real Ms Winchester built (in San Jose, CA). Ya know, if you wanna do some real heavy pre-gaming..
Jay-Z and Rihanna's "Run This Town" video.
REVIEWS
They're about as non-existent as ghosts themselves.
As in, there aren't any.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 Reviews)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Maybe in the afterlife so we can learn how not to scare people.
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LAST WEEKEND'S TOP MOVIES
(Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Maze Runner: Death Cure ($24.2) NEW
Conclusion to post apocalyptic YA series
45% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Jumanji: Welcome to... ($16.1 / $338)
"Reimagining," players go into video game
76% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Hostiles ($10 / $12)
Christian Bale western where
he escorts American Indian chief
72% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) The Greatest Showman ($9.6 / $127)
Hugh Jackman as circus showman (musical)
54% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Post ($9.1 / $59)
Streep, Hanks, Spielberg - Wash Post v Gov
88% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) 12 Strong ($8.7 / $30)
Thor takes on the taliban (well, sorta)
54% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Den of Thieves ($8.6 / $29)
Cops & Robbers with a huge budget
41% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) The Shape of Water ($5.9 / $38)
Mute woman falls in love with "creature"
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Paddington 2 ($8 / $25)
Adorable bear is back for more marmalade
100% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Padmaavat ($4.4) NEW
Indian Hindi language drama
80% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
The 15:17 To Paris
AKA
"Luckily not an entire movie based on
those stupid f#ckin math problems based on train travel times"
WHAT'S THE DEAL
The next in what almost seems like a series of real life stories put to film by Clint Eastwood (his last two movies were Sully and American Sniper).
This one is follows three American soldiers who stopped a terrorist attack on a train (uh, to Paris) with a bit of "how they got there" thrown in. It'd be all pretty expected and straightforward for an Eastwood movie.
Except...
The people from the events star as themselves in the movie. This hasn't really been done before.
Good marketing angle. Now let's hope it's good.
FUN FACT(S)
Clint Eastwood is 87.
Clint Eastwood is probably in better shape than all of us.
Fifty Shades Freed
AKA
"Thank christ, someone finally said the safe word"
WHAT'S THE DEAL
You know what it is.
It's the bottom spanking, tie wrapping, whip cracking series that inspired a puritanical country to try and a little freakier.
If only the movies hadn't put said nation to sleep.
We kid, kinda.
The last in the BDSM inspired stories sees the newly married Grey's having their pasts haunt them.
This one is apparently a bit more of a "thriller" than the others, for what that's worth.
FUN FACT(S)QUESTIONS
The Fifty Shades books started as fanfiction of Twilight. For real.
Peter Rabbit
AKA
"Because Fft Fft Fft Fft Fft is a terrible movie title"
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Based on the book you know you read as a kid, but aren't quiiite sure what the hell the story is about (just us?) and turned into a life action / animated combo.
It wouldn't be a Hollywood movie if they didn't add some metaphorical jazz hands, or is it spirit fingers?
Regardless, Peter fights Mr. McGregor for carrots and lettuce, as in the book, but ALSO for the affection of a lovely young lass.
.....?
Ew, not like that.
James Corden is the very pop culture aware Peter Rabbit and Rose Byrne (Neighbors) and Domhnall Gleeson (everything) play the humanoids.
FUN FACT(S)
The Tale of Peter Rabbit is one of the best selling books of all time with 45 million sold. It is 56 pages long. Talk about an effort/reward ratio.
Fft fft fft fft is rabbit speak.
UNSANE - March 23, 2018
Steven Soderbergh movie shot on an iPhone which sees Claire Foy (The Crown) figuring out if she's mentally disturbed or not. And whether or not she has a stalker.
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HEREDITARY - June 8, 2018
Woah. This looks bonkers crazy. Psychological horror movie starring Toni Collette about what we inherit from our parents. An A24 movie for those who pay attention to that kinda stuff.
DEFINITELY WATCH
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THE FIRST PURGE- July 4, 2018
Prequel to the rest of the Purge movies where everything (yup, everything) is legal for one night. Just a teaser really, using a political ad motif.
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ANT-MAN AND THE WASP - July 6, 2018
Ant-Man gets a full on partner. Wait for the Pez dispenser as a weapon.
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