What's In Theaters: Black Panther
CAN YOU GUESS THE QUOTE?
(answer @ end of email)
"At least we've got it stopped.
Yeah, as long as the Arctic stays cold."
Yup, we switched again.
Seems y'all like your Wednesday nighttime reading vs Thursday morning coffee reading - yay testing!
Getting cutoff? Go here and click "the most recent edition."
Black Panther
AKA
"Not just another Marvel movie"
PG-13 / 2 hrs 15 mins
WHAT'S THE DEAL
OK, technically it IS another Marvel movie, but you know what we mean.
Similar to how Wonder Woman was an event due to its lead and all that she carried with her, this bears more cultural weight than Thor's hammer (yes nerds, we know it's not that heavy, it's just that he's the only one who can carry it).
The cast of Black Panther is nearly entirely black (Chadwick Boseman, Michael B Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o & many more), which is a first for a movie of this budget, size etc.
And it's set almost entirely in Africa, albeit a fictional African country of Wakanda, but still.
People are even creating funds for kids to go see the movie (initially started for Harlem youth), and $260,000 has been raised.
So yeah, it's a big deal.
But like... is it any good tho?
Yup, it's apparently good, like really good.
Oh, and if you're concerned all this "importance" means it'll be too heavy or heady, don't be.
You'll get all the action and shirtless hotties you want.
REVIEWS
Did you not read above??
Oh, you didn't? Ok then.
They're really really (really) good.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 98%
(148 Reviews)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Indubitably.
.....
Yes.
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
Early Man
AKA
"What your friends say when you ask
when you should get there cuz you're always late... man"
PG / 1 hr 40 mins
WHAT'S THE DEAL
You know those stop motion movies made with clay?
Yeah like Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run.
Well the makers of those movies made this one too.
But instead of mute dogs and uncannily inventive chickens (seriously, bird brains they were not...er, they were, but smart ones. Aaaaanyway), they're taking on man, and women.
So humans at large, but before flushing toilets, way before (qq: did they use leaves? hmmmm).
More to the point, a caveman has to try and stop evil people from "the bronze age," from destroying his and his friends simple life by creating a mine and forcing them to work in it.
Allegories much?
If you're familiar with these types of movies, you know there will be lots of dry british humor, large teeth and lots of sweetness mixed in. If not, whelp, now you know.
FUN FACT(S)
Each second of a stop motion movie takes 3 bajillion hours to shoot. Or it just looks that way, we're not sure.
REVIEWS
Aardman (the makers) just don't seem to make bad movies and reviews are saying this is yet another example.
Caveat that it doesn't seem to be anything groundbreaking, so seems worth giving it a go expecting a good time, not a life changing experience.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
(64 Reviews)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
We're fans of their stuff, but usually come to it late, so maybe not in theaters - a plane ride viewing sounds just right.
LAST WEEKEND'S TOP MOVIES
(Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Fifty Shades Freed ($38.6) NEW
Ropes, whips and oddly, social convention
12% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Peter Rabbit ($25) NEW
He steals carrots and... raps? Yes, he raps
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) The 15:17 to Paris ($12.6) NEW
Eastwood directs people from real events
23% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Jumanji: Welcome to... ($10 / $366)
"Reimagining," players go into video game
76% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Greatest Showman ($6.4 / $147)
Hugh Jackman as circus showman (musical)
55% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Maze Runner: Death Cure ($6.2 / $49)
Conclusion to post apocalyptic YA series
43% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Winchester ($5.2 / $17)
Ghosts killed by guns, kill gun makers
10% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) The Post ($3.6 / $73)
Streep, Hanks, Spielberg - Wash Post v Gov
88% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) The Shape of Water ($3.2 / $50)
Mute woman falls in love with "creature"
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Den of Thieves ($3 / $41)
Cops & Robbers with a huge budget
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
Annihilation
AKA
"The thing your roommate annoyingly says
every. damn. time. they come out of the bathroom."
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's hard to say exactly.
While the surface details are simple - Natalie Portman stars in the next movie from Alex Garland, who directed the most mispronounced movie of all time Ex Machina (X MAH-ki-nah), and it's based on the first book in a Sci-Fi series.
What actually happens in the movie is far less clear (to those of us who haven't read the book).
From what we can gather, there's some weird alien shit going on that humans should stay the fuck away from, but instead go right into.
So, ya know, normal movie stuff.
Oscar Isaac, who starred in (say it with us now) Ex Machina, plays Portman's disappeared husband which inspires her to investigate said "weird alien shit."
Also noteworthy that the majority of leads are female.
Game Night
AKA
"Ya'll remember that movie Date Night,
w/ Steve Carell and Tina Fey?
Yeah, it's the same movie."
WHAT'S THE DEAL
We kind of gave away our throughline in our little AKA "joke," but seriously, if you know the movie Date Night, you know this movie.
Sure it may take place a decade later and star different actors, but it's the same basic premise - which is to say a normal, everyday couple gets thrown into crazy crime related hijinks unexpectedly and make way more jokes than is entirely appropriate based on the seriousness of the circumstances.
This version stars Rachel McAdams (swoon) and Jason Bateman as the highly competitive gaming couple.
In it, Bateman's brother says he's setting up a new type of game night where someone will get taken (settle down Liam Neesons, not your turn to play), but then things go wrong and no one is sure what's real and not real.
FUN FACT(S)
Did you know Hollywood has a software system that brings up scripts every ten years to see if they should be re-made?
It's not true, but the fact you even considered believing us is unfortunate.
Every Day
AKA
"How often someone in Hollywood says
'ya know, we could use more Nicholas Sparks type movies' "
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Based on the bestselling book about a teenage girl who meets her soulmate.
But wait!
Her soulmate changes bodies errday. Same age, but different gender and or race.
But soulmates do not give up, so they meet and try and try again until...?
I guess that's why we watch the movie eh?
Or someone does. /shrug
If it seems a bit formulaic (it does), it's at least worth noting that the story is pretty "of the times" topically in that it approaches love through a blind lense where gender or race don't matter. Something the target audience (teens) is well attuned to.
A QUIET PLACE - April 6, 2018
Second trailer. Shhh. Wife and husband, in real and movie life, Emily Blunt & John Krasinksi (who directs) try and protect their family in a post apocalyptic world from "something" that attacks humans based on sound.
Add to Your Calendar
Apple Google Outlook
OVERBOARD - April 13, 2018
Full trailer. Anna Faris stars in the remake of the Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn movie. Cept this time, it's a reverse a roonie and the GUY is the jerk who gets... borrowed? We'll say borrowed (but kinda illegaly kidnapped).
Add to Your Calendar
Apple Google Outlook
RAMPAGE - April 20, 2018
Second trailer. The Rock tries to save his gorilla friend George (who gets humongified - see pic) AND the city from an also humongified wolf and a crooocidile (we're not sure tbh)? Yup, based on 80's arcade game.
Add to Your Calendar
Apple Google Outlook
I FEEL PRETTY - April 27, 2018
Amy Schumer knocks her noggin and gains all of the confidence. All of it. Cuz she, well, feels pretty. Satire on beauty and cultural standards.
Add to Your Calendar
Apple Google Outlook
UNCLE DREW - June 29, 2018
Pepsi commercial turned movie. Kyrie Irving (the NBA player) stars in a REAL MOVIE based on his ad character. A bunch of former NBA players, like Shaq, join him. Basically, old ballers show they can still ball.
Add to Your Calendar
Apple Google Outlook
VENOM - October 5, 2018
Teaser. Spider-Man's frenemesis (ya know, like friend/nemesis) gets his own movie. Tom Hardy plays the complicated baddy, but sometimes goody. Not sure what role (if any) Spider-Man will play.
Add to Your Calendar
Apple Google Outlook