What's In Theaters: #nostalgia #mensuck #godsrulecatsdrool #duplicity
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Hold on to yer butts"
Soooo we forgot the biggest movie of this week in last week's next week sneak peek (confused yet?), Spielberg's Ready Player One.
We blame it on the fact it comes out TODAY, not Friday.
Please forgive us.
Getting cutoff? Go here and click "the most recent edition."
READY PLAYER ONE
AKA
"what we wish was announced (loudly) every time we entered a grocery store"
PG-13 / 2 hrs 20 mins
Action & Sci-Fi / Warn Bros
WHAT'S THE DEAL
A sci-fi movie about a (dystopian, what else?) future where everyone is obsessed with nostalgia which they mess with via a VR world - the OASIS.
Directed by Steven Spielberg, the guy who is responsible for much of (all?) said nostalgia referenced in the movie.
#someta
That kid above who looks like he's wearing a Nintendo power glove? Yeah, he's Wade, a regular kid (again, what else?) who gets caught up in the race to find a "key" in the OASIS - if you find the key, you get control of the OASIS.
Oh, that, and half a trillion dollars.
REVIEWS
Looks like dude (Spielberg) hasn't lost his touch, they're solid.
Makes sense, these kinds of movies are what he does.
Key word used a bunch: entertaining
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 80%
(137 reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Yeah, we're in.
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TYLER PERRY'S ACRIMONY
AKA
"marketing for Tyler Perry's next film, Tyler Perry's Just Give Us Your Damn Money, Ok?"
R / 2 hrs
Thriller / Lionsgate
WHAT'S THE DEAL
A (faithful) woman who's done takin' shit from her (unfaithful) man, starts givin him some - er, lots.
Bout sums it up, really.
If you've ever been slighted in one of your relationships, might be that good therapy session you've been needing.
Just remember, it's a movie, not a suggestion.
REVIEWS
Tyler Perry and critics ain't so much friends.
But still TBD soooo
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 Reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
We got what we needed from the trailer.
GOD'S NOT DEAD 3:
A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS
AKA
" the movie that even made Jesus be like 'Christ, another one?' "
XXX (kidding!) PG / 2 hrs
Religious Drama / Pure Flix
WHAT'S THE DEAL
A crisis of faith which, we are quit sure without even seeing it yet (read: never), results in a renewal of it.
REVIEWS
TBD, but we'll leave this right here...
...24% is the combined score of the first two movies.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 Reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Not even if capital S, She begged us to.
INDIE SPOTLIGHT
GEMINI
AKA
"that girl at the crystal store who knows far too much about you after knowing you for 90 seconds and learning your astrological sign"
R / 1 hr 33 mins
Mystery & Thriller / Neon
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's a bit tricky, but suffice it to say, it looks like you'll be squinting at the screen with some (enjoyable) consternation.
Involves a star (Zoë Kravitz) and her assistant who get involved in a "mystery," which the assitant has to help take care of while being questioned (investigated?) by a cop, Mr. John Cho.
Supposed to bring up some interesting thoughts around celebrity and friendship - all while looking cool.
REVIEWS
Diggin it.
Some naysayers, but consensus seems to be it's tight, the mystery is fun, acting is good and looks cool.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%
(26 Reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Yeah, we wanna check it out.
Probably won't be in theaters very long FYI, so check VOD if you're lookin' to take a peek.
LAST WEEKEND'S TOP MOVIES
(Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Pacific Rim Uprising ($28.1) NEW
Big Robots v Big Monsters Part 2
46% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Black Panther ($17.1 / $631)
A super, hero, movie
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) I Can Only Imagine ($13.6 / $38)
Faith based / based on pop christian song
67% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Sherlock Gnomes ($10.6) NEW
Gnumber two in animated now franchise
19% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Tomb Raider ($10.1 / $41.4)
Reboot / origin story / Alicia Vikander
50% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) A Wrinkle in Time ($8.2 / $74)
Oprah, Reese, Mindy help teen save world
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Love, Simon ($7.6 / $23.5)
Rom-com where lead happens to be gay
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Paul, Apostle of Christ ($5.2) NEW
Religious flick about, well, Paul
35% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Game Night ($.1 / $61)
Cards Against Humanity this ain't
82% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Midnight Sun ($4) NEW
Girl w/ disease can't be in sun, pines for boy
21% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
A QUIET PLACE
But not the good kind. The really scary kind. Some "thing" is killing humans, and can only find them by sound. John Krasinski (director too) and Emily Blunt try and keep their family safe.
Early reviews are very good.
BLOCKERS
Of the rooster kind.
....?
Ok, fine. Cockblockers. Parent cockblockers who try and stop their daughters from losing their virginities on prom night. Supposed to be a really good feminist take on raunchy comedy.
CHAPPAQUIDDICK
About famous incident w/ Senator Ted Kennedy where he drove off bridge - Kennedy escaped, his female passenger did not - Senator does NOT tell authorities. Car is found/reported 10 hrs later by fishermen. He stayed Senator.
THE MIRACLE SEASON
Sports movie in the vein of Hoosiers - this time it happens to deal with a female volleyball team lead by a female coach (Helen Hunt) who deal with the loss of their best player.
INDIE SPOTLIGHT
LEAN ON PETE
For starters, we've seen this one and it's great (also, FYI it's from A24). It's better to see than to explain, but boy goes through a lot, in part to save a horse from slaughter.
TERMINAL
May 11, 2018
Teaser. Margot Robbie is like Alice in Wonderland crossed w/ her Suicide Squad character. Confusing, but kinda stylish? Simon Pegg and Mike Myers are in it too. Apparently story involves unrelated people put together by "criminal mastermind." WDFK to be honest.
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DEADPOOL 2
May 18, 2018
A love story about a boy and his dog.
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SUPERFLY
June 15, 2018
A remake of the 70's classic directed by a music video director (Director X) with more hip hop influence than the original's soul influence.
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THE DARKEST MINDS
August 3, 2018
X-Men + Children of Men (yup) + Hunger Games + Maze Runner + Divergent + Teen Activism = this movie.
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THE HOUSE WITH
A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS
Sept 21, 2018
Based on classic book - orphan moves in with his uncle (Jack Black) who happens to be a warlock and lives in a very "different" house. Cate Blanchett plays the good witch neighbor.
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