Jumpin All Nimbly Bimbly From 🌳 to 🌳
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Thas alotta dimp."
Meow before we get into today's email, we'd like to send a special shoutout to a little (but strong) lady in Wisconsin who's resting up today.
Love you Mom.
Getting cutoff? Go here and click "the most recent edition."
SUPER TROOPERS 2
Â
AKA
"the second time we got crabs"
RÂ / 1Â hr 40 mins
Comedy / Fox Searchlight
WHAT'S THE DEALÂ
Desperation is a stinky cologne. And some may say coming back to a cult classic after 17 years is quite the body odor.
But those people don't understand Super Troopers.Â
It's the movie where syrup was chugged, evil shenanigans where done, chinchillas ordered and.... not much else - but it also helped forge friendships and got lots of people through college (or helped them drop out, whatever).
It's the movie that spawned one of the biggest crowdfunding campaigns ever (nearly $5 million) for its sequel.Â
So what that it took nearly two decades - it's here and people are gonna get drunk, stoned, douse themselves in powdered sugar and saddle up for another mustache ride.
Because anything else would be like going 63 in a 65.
So who wants cream?
.......Â
Nobody?
Ok, no cream.
Just some state troopers then.
REVIEWS
Screw 'em. This is Super Troopers.
The first one got terrible reviews and became a beloved classic... by a certain crowd at least.
Â
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 40%
(15Â reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Â
Go? Hell, we donated.
Plus, we already saw it.
And we're gonna go again.Â
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I FEEL PRETTY
AKA
"what we bet Mike Pence says to himself in the mirror every morning "
PG-13 / 1 hr 50 minsÂ
Comedy / STX
WHAT'S THE DEALÂ
Join us in a thought experiment, would you?Â
Imagine a person you think is just the best looking.
Like totally h.a.w.t. hot.
......got em?*
Now imagine you look like that person.
Would that change how you felt about yourself? Would it change how you acted?
That's the fun experiment of I Feel Pretty. Except it's not just an experiment, it's a movie (duh).
Amy Schumer gets this 'ol switcheroony after a head bonk and it totally changes her world - think bikini contests and job promotions.Â
It also certainly sets up some fun social commentary and life lesson situations, but major key here is if it'll be funny too.
*if you thought of yourself, we'd like to say thanks for subscribing Mr. Zach Efron.
REVIEWS
Like the idea and Amy Schumer.
Don't much like the execution.
Â
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 33%
(32Â Reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Â
We were waiting on reviews for this one and... well.
Still applaud the premise.Â
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TRAFFIK
AKA
"wat doo u meen wii mispeled tit?"
R / 1 hr 36 mins
Action-Thriller / Lionsgate
WHAT'S THE DEALÂ
Paula Patton & Omar Epps in C(-?) movie home invasion where bad guy biker gang want something back.
Yup, bought sums it up.
Side note: if you're into this kinda thing, there's a better looking (but still nice and schlocky, and more self-aware) version coming out in May starring Gabrielle Union called Breaking In. Recommend spending your cheese on that one.
REVIEWS
None yet, but can't imagine they'll give much love.
Â
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0Â Reviews @ publish)
ARE WE GONNA GO?
Â
We'd rather sit in 2 hours of it than see it.
ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Rampage ($35.8 ) NEW
80's video game + The Rock
50% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
2) A Quiet Place ($33 / $100)
Noises bring scary monsters
95% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
3) Truth or Die ($18.7 ) NEW
U play, you die, you don't play, u die
15% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
4) Ready Player One ($11.5 / $115)
Spielberg directs VR world nostalgiafest
74% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
5) Blockers ($10.8 / $37)Â
Parents try & stop daughters' sex lives
82% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
6) Black Panther ($5.8 / $674)
A super, hero, movie
96% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - ShowtimesÂ
7) Isle of Dogs ($5.5 / $19)
New Wes Anderson / stop motion
91% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - ShowtimesÂ
8) I Can Only Imagine ($4.1 / $75)Â
Faith based / based on pop christian song
70% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - ShowtimesÂ
9) Tyler Perry's Acrimony ($3.6 / $38)
Woman scorning does not end well for man
24% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
10) Chappaquiddick ($3.1 / $11)
Story of Ted Kennedy and car accident
80% RTÂ -Â Â Trailer - Showtimes
AVENGERS:
INFINITY WAR
Â
The beginning of the end until the next beginning.
Â
INDIE SPOTLIGHT
DISOBEDIENCE
Â
The Rachels (Weisz and McAdams) play former lovers, one now married (to a man), brought back together by circumstance, and their desire is still there - and so is their community's disdane of it.
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OCEAN'S 8
June 8, 2018
Â
Sandra Bullock, aka Ocean, brings her friends to rob some jewels at the Met Gala.Â
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HEREDITARY
June 8, 2018
Â
Second trailer. Psychological horror movie starring Toni Collette about what we inherit from our parents. An A24 movie for those who pay attention to that.Â
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INCREDIBLES 2
June 15, 2018
Â
They're back in action. Well, at least Elastigirl is, while Mr. Incredible takes care of the homestead.
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JURASSIC WORLD
FALLEN KINGDOM
June 22, 2018
Â
Final trailer. Lets us know more about the plot. Which is dinosaurs. Lots of dinosaurs (and some evil people, duh). Luckily there's still Chris Pratt being Chris Pratt.
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THREE IDENTICAL STRANGERS
June 29, 2018
Â
Documentary on identical triplets separated at birth... on purpose.
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THE FIRST PURGE
July 4, 2018
Â
Full trailer. Basically sets up The Purge was a ploy for the government to attack (black?) citizens.Â
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HOT SUMMER NIGHTS
July 27, 2018
Â
Everyone's (wanna be) boyfriend Timothée Chalamet is a kid who becomes an out of place drug dealer in 1991 summer cape cod.
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