🍒🔨😫 & Relationship Problems Worse Than Yours
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Black as midnight, black as pitch,
blacker than the foulest witch."
We're gettin ahead of ourselves here, but pay special attention to Hereditary which is hittin next week; looks like it might be something special.
Getting cutoff? Go here and click "the most recent edition."
ACTION POINT
AKA
"the name of that Point Break sequel you wrote in 10th grade that totally woulda been a huge hit if only friggen Patrick Swayze hadn't friggen died"
R / 1 hrs 25 mins
Comedy / Paramount
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Remember when people thought Jackass influencing kids to punch each other in the junk was the biggest problem we had in the world? Oh happy times.
Those days are over, but Johnny Knoxville is still here doin his thing, and this time the thing is basically Jackass, but with a story. You'll see Knoxville get hurt, a lot, you'll see nut shots, a lot, and you'll hear "inspired by a true story" in the marketing, a lot.
Cuz it's based on this bonkers theme bonk in Jersey back in the day that really was super dangerous. Not shocking, it no longer exists.
REVIEWS
Jackass always got some love even though it was oft accused of being the downfall of society. This one? Eeehh... not so sure.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
We'd prefer Jackass 4.
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ADRIFT
AKA
"how we feel when yet another person tells us they're doing that Whole30 diet"
PG-13 / 2 hrs
Drama-Romance / STX
WHAT'S THE DEAL
What're the biggest battles in your relationship? Who washes (or doesn't wash) the dishes, whether Coldplay is still a relevant band, or who cheated on what Netflix shows?
That's cute and all, but meet this newly in love couple who have to deal with 40 foot waves, sharks, broken bones, interminable hunger and getting stranded in fuckedville (aka the middle of the ocean).
Shailene Woodley (Divergent) plays the one half of said couple who has to save her boat, her man, and herself. And like all good (or at least the last two) movies, it's based on a true story.
REVIEWS
None yet, and really don't know which direction they'll go, but lack of 'em is not a good sign.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Could either be really gripping, or just really annoying.
But either way, it'll certainly make us (even) more terrified of sailing around the world.
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UPGRADE
AKA
"what you secretly whisper into the minds of the the flight attendants when boarding a plane via your as yet latent, but totally real, telepathic abilities"
R/ 1 hr 35 mins
Sci-Fi-Action-Horror / Blumhouse
WHAT'S THE DEAL
B-movie action flick that's kinda like a combo of Her and The Matrix which may punch (slightly) above its grade. Expect lots of killing, stylish future lighting and crazy camera angles.
Looks like it could maaaybe follow in the path of John Wick, that Keanu Reeves action flick which kind of came out of nowhere and became a cult franchise.
REVIEWS
It's for a certain audience, but people saying it's a lot of fun and has a lot of "energy."
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%
(26 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Looks well done and we appreciate a good B-movie, plus this has decent people behind it (creator of Saw/Insidious franchise and produced by Blumhouse - Get Out, Split etc.).
And even though it doesn't look all that original, it's still not a sequel or franchise, so praise for that.
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INDIE SPOTLIGHT
AMERICAN ANIMALS
AKA
"shockingly, not a documentary about America's politicians"
R / 2 hrs
Drama-Mystery-Comedy / The Orchard
WHAT'S THE DEAL
You're one of over 7 billion people on earth. You want to stand out. You want purpose. What do you do?
You steal some shit of course. Well, at least that what the kids in this adventure settled on.
So now we get a little movie based on this (true) story where a group of yutes tried a crazy art robbery to remove that black spot inside their souls. But instead, ended up hurting themselves and others due to expectations of how their stories should turn out.
REVIEWS
Praising the way it balances being a good heist flick with commentary on masculinity, media and expectations.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 81%
(31 Reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
We're all for taking the piss out of "maleness" and the notions of success. Even better if we get to have some fun doing it.
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(4-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Solo ($103) NEW
Han who shot first gets an origin story
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Deadpool 2 ($53.8 / $219)
Green Lantern in a red suit w/ foul mouth
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Avengers: Infinity War ($22.5 / $628)
Avengers assemble! ...a vault, cuz we rich
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Book Club ($13.1/ $35)
Ladies who lunch read Fifty Shades
56% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Life of the Party ($6.9 / $41)
Melissa McCarthy goes to college
38% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Breaking In ($5.5 / $37 )
Don't F with mama bears and her cubs
25% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Show Dogs ($4.3 / $12)
Talking dogs
16% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Overboard ($4.1 / $43)
Remake of the 80's... classic?
28% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) A Quiet Place ($3.1 / $181)
Noises bring scary monsters
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) RBG ($1.7 / $6)
Doc on the notorious supreme court judge
94% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
OCEAN'S 8
Sandra Bullock puts a crew together (guess how many) to steal some diamonds. And yes, she plays sister to George Clooney's character, who isn't in it (or IS he?).
HEREDITARY
A horror movie that looks too crazy to explain, starring Tony Collette. A bunch of incredibly positive reviews already. We'll leave this quote here... "Hereditary is one of the most unsettling movies I've ever seen, and I couldn't sleep because of it."
HOTEL ARTEMIS
A secret hospital for criminals where The Nurse, played by Jodie Foster, fixes up damaged goods (read: people). Uncannily similar to the hotel from the John Wick movies (double reference points!)
INDIE SPOTLIGHT
WON'T YOU BE
MY NEIGHBOR?
A doc on Mr. Rogers that will probably make you cry, but in a positive way. From Focus Features.
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN
August 3, 2018
Full trailer. Christopher Robin is all growed up, and needs help from his adorable pal Pooh (and friends). Watch to feel happy(ier) about life.
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A SIMPLE FAVOR
September 14, 2018
Second trailer. Anna Kendrick is friends with Blake Lively who is Emily, and apparently quite mysterious, but also... missing. Kiiiinda has a Gone Girl type vibe.
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THE SISTERS BROTHERS
October 12, 2018
Dark comedy where Joaquin Phoenix and John C. Reilly are (kinda goofy) brothers hired to kill a prospector, Jake Gyllenhaal.