You thought your family had issues...
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Oy! Ten thousand yeeeaaars will give you
such a crick in the neck."
If you love trailers, this is your week. So much so that we had to change the format. If you like it more, please let us know!
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OCEAN'S 8
AKA
"proof women can do, well, about the same, but with less"
PG-13 / 1 hr 50 mins
Comedy-Adventure / Warner Bros.
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Think spinoff vs remake of (modern) original. We know Sandra Bullock plays Danny Ocean's sister and apparently loves that con life as much as him - juuust don't ask us why he left her out of his jobs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .
Beyond that, you won't need to do much thinking . Let Ms. Bullock and her 7 very charming and famous friends (including Cate Blanchett, Rihanna, Anne Hathaway & more) lead you down the red carpet as they try and steal a shitload of diamonds (are forever™), and your ten bucks.
Quick aside: this looks fun and all, but can't wait until we get this kinda movie NOT based on another all male movie.
REVIEWS
Like that butter on top of your popcorn (movies). With the benefits and the downsides.
In general the fun tone and charm of the stars seem to make it worth it.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 78%
(64 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
You know exactly what you're gonna get.
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HEREDITARY
AKA
"a good opportunity for adult diaper companies to product test"
R / 2 hrs 7 mins
Horror / A24
WHAT'S THE DEAL
You might need that weird eye machine from A Clockwork Orange for this one. If not, you'll likely be cowering in a corner with your arms over your head and then you'll miss all the bonkers crazy shit that's happening - and that's no fun.
That is to say, this is gonna be a scary one. But like in a slow burn, everything is very unsettling kinda way; not the stereotypical everything is a jump scare kinda way.
Oh, it also appears to be an allegory on family trauma and heritage and the issues we pass onto our offspring. Fun!
REVIEWS
Quotes will do best here:
"sense of poisoned family bloodlines, of the everyday invaded by unspeakable evil, of bonechilling terror you won't be able to shake, Hereditary is a new horror landmark."
"one of the most horrifying moviegoing experiences I can recall, and emotionally upsetting on an intense level."
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
(69 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Give us that eye machine stat.
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HOTEL ARTEMIS
AKA
"the reason Artemis Hotel just had to up their SEO game, big time"
R / 1 hr 37 mins
Action / Global Road
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's about a future set hotel that's really a hospital for criminals where no bad stuff is allowed, only the healing. Until a really bad guy says F that rule and comes in to take back some diamonds (are forever™). Jodie Foster, in her first role in a while, plays the nurse who runs the hospital.
But really it's a fairly standard action movie with good actors.
And yes, it's uncannily familiar to (some would say ripoff of) that hotel for criminals in John Wick, but no it's not in the John Wick world.
REVIEWS
If people got over the tired story, they enjoyed themselves, if not, then not.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 68%
(19 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Got some names, but doesn't look to have enough game.
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INDIE SPOTLIGHT
WON'T YOU BE
MY NEIGHBOR
AKA
"the nicest thing someone's ever said, or creepiest, depending on who said it"
PG-13 / 1 hr 34 mins
Documentary / Focus Features
WHAT'S THE DEAL
A documentary on the one celebrity you actually wished would've been President.
It's a chance to reaffirm that yes, Mr Rogers was as special and nice as you thought he was, a true diamond (..s are forever™) in the rough. And to remind yourself there are in fact good people on this ball of dust we're stuck to by gravity.
If you go, just make sure and bring your tissues, because you may do a lot of "the feeling."
REVIEWS
Seems our friend Fred is able to teach lessons even in death...
"We tend to develop a thick, cold skin of cynicism over the years. Won't You Be My Neighbor? skillfully peels that away, so viewers can remember one of Mister Rogers' most important lessons: that it's okay to feel."
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 98%
(43 Reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Oh golly gee, we're just smitten. "The hero the world needs now" shouda been their tagline.
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Solo ($29.4 / $149)
Han who shot first gets an origin story
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Deadpool 2 ($24.2 / $255)
Green Lantern in a red suit w/ foul mouth
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Adrift ($11.6) NEW
Story w/ waves of emotions & water
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Avengers: Infinity War ($10.5 / $643)
Avengers assemble! ...a vault, cuz we rich
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Book Club ($7/ $48)
Ladies who lunch read Fifty Shades
53% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Upgrade ($4.7) NEW
B-movie action flick with A+ execution
86% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Life of the Party ($3.5 / $46)
Melissa McCarthy goes to college
38% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Breaking In ($2.8 / $41)
Don't F with mama bears and her cubs
25% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Action Point ($2.4) NEW
Jackass with a story (kinda)
19% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Overboard ($1.9 / $46)
Remake of the 80's... classic?
28% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
INCREDIBLES 2
The superhero family is back. But this time mama incredible is leading the way.
TAG
Crew been playin for 30 years, gives them a reason to stay friends. The best is trying to retire (based on a true story). Lots of names: Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Hannibal Buress, Isla Fisher, Jake Johnson & more.
SUPERFLY
A remake done by a music video director Director X (no really, that's his name). Looks bad. Like TV movie bad.
PEPPERMINT (9/7)
Jennifer Garner goes Alias and avenges her family killed by drug cartels. From Taken director.
WHITE BOY RICK (9/21)
Matthew McConaughey dad to 15 yr old drug dealer (based on true story)
OPERATION FINALE (9/21)
Oscar Isaac is a Mossad agent trying to capture top Nazi leader in 1960s (based on true story)
THE OLD MAN & THE GUN (9/28)
Robert Redford plays gentleman bank robber (based on true story)
NIGHT SCHOOL (9/28)
Second trailer for Kevin Hart and Tiffany Hadish comedy
SUSPIRIA (11/2)
Dakota Johnson and Tild Swinton in remake of 1960's ballerina occult horror film
WIDOWS (11/16)
Action flick where Viola Davis leads crew of widows of former bank robbers. Directed by Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave) and co-written by Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl).
WRECK-IT-RALPH 2 (11/21)
Ralph goes into the internet and breaks it, along with shilling Disney stuff
MORTAL ENGINES (12/14)
Young Adult action flick where cities are moving structures
BUMBLEBEE (12/21)
Origin story for the Transformer. Not directed by Michael Bay
THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART (2/8/19)
More of the (funny) blockheads