Past meet future, future meet past. #sortapalindromes
GUESS THE QUOTE
"mine mine mine mine
mine mine mine mine"
This weeked is full of what many people would consider throwback movies. You have a (pretty) big budget romantic comedy, a nature based teen adventure movie and an action star implicitly promoting guns and 'Merica.
And yet, they're also very modern. Crazy Rich Asians is almost entirely an asian cast, Alpha has lots of big budget CGI and Mile 22 has multiple female leads crackin heads w/ the best of them.
Yay for juxtapositions?
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
CRAZY RICH ASIANS
AKA
"a comedy romantic"
PG-13 / 2 hrs
Romantic Comedy/ Warner Bros
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In structural terms, it's a pretty straightforward romantic comedy.
In emotional terms, it's a big deal.
Why? Because it's the first major Hollywood flick with a predominantly Asian cast in who the hell can remember how long (oh, right, the internet can, and it's The Joy Luck Club from 90 friggen 3).
Luckily it looks to turn the book it's based on into a spectacle of rich people skewering and satisfying mother of the groom / bride to be battles.
So go for whatever reason(s) you choose, you'll likely be satisfied by any (all) of them. Tip: Awkwafina (above photo), the best part of Ocean's 8, is in this as the friend sidekick. #scenestealer
NOTE: in theaters today!
REVIEWS
Really it's best case scenario here, where the casting is certainly not a footnote, but not the only note. I.e. it's good.
"Crazy Rich Asians glimmers and sparkles, gives us characters to root for, and is pure escapist fantasy fun." - Chicago Sun Times
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
(93 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
We quote that snail scene from Pretty Woman at least once a week, so it won't be hard to get us to go.
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ALPHA
AKA
"pre beta"
PG-13 / 1 hr 37 mins
Adventure-Action / Sony
WHAT'S THE DEAL
A live action Disney movie from 1991 where the amazing relationship built between a lost human boy & a hurt wolf helps them survive the harsh ways of the wilderness - except, ya know, it's 2018 and the studio is actually Sony.
More specifically (for those of a specific age) it's White Fang set 20,000 years ago. So instead of bears and mean wolves, they get to mess with Wooly Mammoths and saber-toothed tigers. Different animals, same nope nope nope nope.
Come for the love of dogs, er, wolves, stay for the really pretty visuals.
REVIEWS
So far, so (pretty) good. Sounds like if you're keen on a solid adventure tail, and not tryin to find The Revenant, you'll quite enjoy it.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83%
(12 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Won't be our first choice, but definitely a movie to see in the theaters if you're inclined. And if we were 12? Heck yeah.
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MILE 22
AKA
"still marathon distance if you're not a Marky Mark fan"
R / 1 hr 30 mins
Action / STX
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Hey, I'm Mark Wahlberg. How's it goin? Lemme ask you somethin'. Do you like movies where I punch people in the face? Good. Cuz otherwise I'll punch you in the face.
Now imma ask you somethin' else. Do you like when I raise my eyebrows, yell and shoot guns? Ok. Did you know I shoot guns in lots of my other movies too? I also like to eat pasta.
Are you gonna come watch me swing my fist and drop people? Just lemme know, ok?
Say hi to your mother for me.
Notes: this post entirely inspired by SNL's Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals. Directed by Pete Berg who directed Lone Survivor, Patriots Day and Battleship (don't remember, don't worry, it sunk, er, stunk).
REVIEWS
None yet! And as much as we kid, Pete Berg has a tendency to make decent movies.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
If we had to walk 0.02 miles for a free to to see this, we would not.
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INDIE"ISH" SPOTLIGHT
WE THE ANIMALS
AKA
"aren't we all..."
R / 1 hr 32 mins
Drama / The Orchard
WHAT'S THE DEAL
The film takes the Boyhood tact of existing in the scenes vs structuring them for the audience. But also seems to put a hazy glow on it all so as to denote the messy way we remember things.
Story comes from a semi autobiographical novel about a childhood rife with issues; parents struggle to raise three boys as they have difficulties in their own relationship.
REVIEWS
"An impressionistic swirl of a film about masculinity, about abuse, about growing up queer, about chaotic family life, about the jumble of incidents and stirrings through which a child discovers a self." - Village Voice
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 95%
(21 reviews @ publish)
OUR TAKE
Looks like one of those melt into your seats and just let it wash over you movies. But also one that if you don't watch when it's present on your mind, it may not stick around long movies.
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) The Meg ($45.4) NEW
Tiny shark movie
49% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Mission: Impossible - Fa... ($19.4 / $161)
Ethan Hunt hunts the baddies
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Christopher Robin ($13 / $51)
Pooh comes to help his now stodgy friend
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Slender Man ($11.4) NEW
Internet creeper becomes (movie) real
13% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) BlackKklansman ($10.8) NEW
The hate group gets unexpected member
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) The Spy Who Dumped Me ($6.5 / $24)
McKinnon/Kunis get (sorta) badass
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Mamma Mia! Here We G.. ($5.9 / $104)
Abba filled musical gets a side B
79% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) The Equalizer 2 ($5.4 / $90)
Badass Denzel in rare return appearance
50% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Hotel Transylvania 3 ($5.2 / $147)
Monster crew is on a boat, on a boat
59% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Ant-Man and the Wasp ($5.1 / $204)
Big problems need small heroes
87% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS
Basically seems like a dirty version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit (without the heart). Melissa McCarthy is the human teamed with puppet cop. Directed by Jim Henson's son (who also directed a bunch of the later Muppets movies).
SEARCHING
Girl goes missing, father tries to find her, by using her computer - which is also where most of the movie takes place. Second one of these "all action on screens" movies this year, except this one is apparently quite good. John Cho (is the man) stars.
A.X.L.
Tryin to be modern version of those 80's movies like Short Circuit or Flight of the Navigator.
INDIE"ISH" SPOTLIGHT
SUPPORT THE GIRLS
Hooters type restaurant where the manager tries to, well, support her girls. Looks pretty cute.
WIDOWS
September 7, 2018
Second full trailer. Think grittier Ocean's 8. Wives of deceased criminals try keep up their husbands' trade. Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave) directs the action/drama pic, writer is Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl), Viola Davis and lots of other names star.
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GREEN BOOK
November 21, 2018
Kinda Driving Ms. Daisy..ish. Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings) is a bouncer hired to drive musician played by Mahershala Ali (Moonlight) in the deep south. Oddly, mostly because it looks pretty good, directed by one of the Farrelly brothers (Dumb & Dumber).
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WHAT MEN WANT
January 11, 2018
Flip of Mel Gibson's What Women Want. Don't worry, men are still the dummies. Tarji P. Henson gets the gift (is it though?) of mind reading.
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