Voted most likely to punch a shark right in the face.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Never give up and good luck will find you."
Bumblebee, a new Transformers movie, has the most positive reviews of any movie being released this weekend. That's bonkers.
This is a franchise where the Rotten Tomatoes score of the last four movies was 87%, combined - Bumblee currently sits at 93%. So yeah, if you've ever had an inkling to see a Transformers movie, but the stench of Eau De Michael Bay turned you off, this is probably your time.
Note: most of next week's movies release on Tuesday, ie Christmas Day. Don't fret (you weren't going to) we'll still be sending on Wednesday.
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
AQUAMAN
AKA
"You think they have hair dryers Atlantis?"
PG-13 / 2 hrs 23 mins
Action-Superhero / Warner Bros.
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Look, Aquaman is inherently kind of ridiculous and if you're expecting The Dark Knight level of superhero movie, well, just don't, cuz this aint that. Instead, Aquaman looks to embrace all the acid trippy"ness" that you could imagine with a dude who can talk to fish - crab men, sharks as basically horses and Julie Andrews voicing a massive sea creature called the Karathen.
Jason Momoa (aka Khal Drogo from GoT) as Aquaman is kind of the key here because no one can question his bad ass bonafides, plus, he's good with a raised eyebrow and a quip. But if you go, be ready for a lot (like 2 1/2 hours a lot) of CGI action and story that kinda sorta relates to the rest of the DC movies (Batman, Wonder Woman etc.).
Note: Directed by James Wan, who's created/directed horror movies including Saw and The Conjuring, but also did Furious 7.
REVIEWS
Took a drop, and ain't gotta win any awards, but still coming out with more recommendations than not - with postive reviewers using the word "fun" a lot.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 67%
(147 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: the "I love to turn off my brain" crowd / anyone who swoons over Mr. Momoa
(Not): for people who thought A Quiet Place was too loud
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MARY POPPINS RETURNS
AKA
"Are you sure that's Mary Poppins, I mean, she uses an umbrella to fly and all, but she looks... different"
PG / 2 hrs 10 mins
Family-Musical / Disney
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Not a ton to say here - you're likely comin' at this with a well formed opinion. For those unaware, what we can say is that it stays mostly true to form and don't expect much variance from the OG. Emily Blunt reportedly does well at making it her own, but of course, she can never be Julie Andrews. Lin-Manuel Miranda from Hamilton is in it too and plays a nice and super positive guy as the Banks family deals with tragedy and need their spirits lifted up once again. Luckily, Poppins brings her flying umbrella and cartoon birds in for backup.
Notes: In theaters TODAY. Features Meryl Streep & Colin Firth in small fun roles. Directed by Rob Marshall who directed Chicago and Into the Woods (also for Disney).
REVIEWS
"While narratively no match for the classic Disney musical, the new "Mary" adds new songs and multitalented charisma machine Lin-Manuel Miranda to the mix for one undoubtedly comforting nostalgia-fest." USA Today
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 78%
(169 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: fans of the original and don't want it to change
(Not): for those who can't get over the irony of a massive corporation trying to instill childlike wonder via an obvious twist of viewers' nostalgia for dollars
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BUMBLEBEE
AKA
"So Michael Bay didn't direct this? Awesome."
PG-13 / 1 hr 54 mins
Action / Paramount
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's like a Spielberg version of Transformers. Wait, didn't Spielberg produce ALL of the previous Transformers (note: he produced this one too)? Yeah, but Michael Bay directed 'em. Wait, so Bay's not directing this one? Newp. Cooooool.
And if it's channeling Spielberg, it's gotta be set in the 1980's, which of course it is. But that also allows us to see the origins of that yellow muted machine (we finally see why he's voiceless btw), and Paramount to "soft re-boot" the franchise a la X-Men: First Class. Although, it doesn't deviate that much in overall story, with Bumblebee still befriending a kid (now: Hailee Steinfeld before: Shia Labeouf), protecting new friend at all costs, and fighting evil decepticons/humans who ally with decepticons along the way. It's just that, this time, Mr. Michael "I've never seen a shot I couldn't slo-mo the fuck out of" Bay isn't directing (can you tell we approve)?
Note: Optimus Prime does get a cameo - sigh, meet relief.
REVIEWS
They're like, pretty damn good. Certainly the fact it's not a Michael Bay Transformers works in its favor (reviewers and Michael Bay are not friends), but still.
"It's an effective reimagining that also bears a knowing resemblance to classic youth-oriented films from Bumblebee executive producer Steven Spielberg." - Hollywood Reporter
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
(87 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: people who liked that whole transforming part of the other movies, but couldn't stand the rest of the parts
(Not): for those who think all the other Transformers movies were classics (actually, hell, you'll probably like this too)
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SECOND ACT
AKA
""
PG-13 / 1 hr 43 mins
Romantic-Comedy / STX
WHAT'S THE DEAL
This is the kind of movie Netflix is dominating right now, and no other studio is really bothering to touch, but it's J-Lo, so we get a theatrical release... we guess? Ms Lopez is playin 'to her fan base here with an aspirational story about a girl who "accidentally" goes from everyday working girl to WORK IT GIRL! (sorry for that). By that we mean Lopez goes from getting passed over for manager at a local Bronx retail store to becoming a deal at a finance company, where she's the only who speaks Chinese, but of course she doesn't speak Chinese - cue awkward dinner with big Chinese client where she employs the help of a veterinarian who talks about anal glands, which is promptly repeated to said client. If that's the kinda movie you're lookin for, look no farther (further?).
REVIEWS
We'll leave the headline of the NY Times review right here... "‘Second Act’ Review: Jennifer Lopez Deserves Better"
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 50%
(8 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: J-Lo lovers / romantic comedy lovers
(Not): for people who have Netflix
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WELCOME
TO MARWEN
AKA
"Cool, can we leave yet?"
PG-13 / 1 hr 57 mins
Drama / Universal
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Just, all sorts of sigh... It's Robert Zemeckis playing with his toys again, literally. The director of many an amazing movie, e.g. Forrest Gump, Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit tells the (true) story of a guy, Steve Carell, who is beaten so badly he loses his memory, and tries to recover by making art with dolls - many of whom based on the strong women who surround and support him.
Zemeckis uses his love of (obsession with?) motion capture - think the Avatar/Polar Express, where actors act, but are animated later - to turn the dolls into a huge part of story, but based on reviews, it just doesn't work. :/ It seems to become more "because we can" than "because we should."
REVIEWS
Not good. "Despite a sympathetic lead performance from Steve Carell, the fictionalized version bogs down in extensive animated doll sequences, so similar they grow increasingly tiresome." New York Post
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 17%
(29 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: people who can appreciate ambition, if not execution
(Not): for people who think sappy movies should be covered in honey and tossed to bears
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Spider-man: Into the Spi... ($35.4) NEW
Lots of Spideys save lots of universes
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) The Mule ($17.5) NEW
Clint Eastwood hauls drugs
60% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) The Grinch ($11.8 / $239)
The green one goes modern
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Ralph Breaks the Inter... ($9.3 / $154)
Sequel to Wreck-It-Ralph
88% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Mortal Engines ($7.5) NEW
London is an evil moving city
27% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Creed 2 (er, Creed II) ($5.4 / $105)
Adonis takes on son of Ivan Drago
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Bohemian Rhapsody ($4.3 / $181)
Queen / Freddie Mercury biopic
62% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Instant Family ($3.8 / $60)
Mark Wahlberg / Rose Byrne adopt
82% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Fantastic Beasts: The Cr... ($3.8 / $151)
Sequel to Harry Potter prequel
38% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Green Book ($2.8 / $25)
Viggo Mortensen drives Mahershala Ali
82% - Trailer - Showtimes
HOLMES AND WATSON
Will Ferrell is Holmes, John C. Reilly Watson in serious biopic of the two detectives... #messinwitchu. Note: releasing Christmas Day.
VICE
Adam McKay, who directed Anchorman and then went serious with The Big Short goes halfsies with somewhat satirical biopic of Darth Veep, Dick Cheney. Reviews are pretty split. Note: releasing Christmas day.
DESTROYER
Nicole Kidman goes Charlize Theron in Monster in the makeup department in a story about a cop trying to find redemption. Reviews saying it's a tough, but good watch. Note: releasing Christmas Day.
ON THE BASIS OF SEX
The Notorious RGB (Ruth Bader Ginsburg) gets a biopic focusing on her Supreme Court case on discrimination based on... sex. Reviews are solid, if not inspiring. Note: releasing Christmas Day.
STAN AND OLLIE
Man, John C. Reilly killing the "blank and blank" movies. He plays Hardy and Steve Coogan Laurel in biopic focusing on the end of their careers. Reviews calling it "agreeable" and "sweet."
THE MUSTANG
March 15, 2019
A convict discovers horses that help him heal. Produced by Robert Redford and has solid cast (including Bruce Dern & Connie Britton in supporting roles). Also playing at Sundance.
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WHERE'D YOU GO,
BERNADETTE
March 22, 2019
Cate Blanchett plays a woman who disappears even though she "has it all" - based on the successful novel. Oddly, from tone of the trailer, directed by Richard Linklater.
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HELLBOY
April 12, 2019
Reboot of the comic originated story. Key: not directed by Guillermo Del Toro and Hellboy is now David Harbour (Stranger Things), not Ron Perlman.
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THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2
May 24, 2019
They're releasing a bunch of trailers for this one, all focused on the different animals. This time Kevin Hart as the bunny "Snowball." Technically the third trailer.
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DOWNTON ABBEY
September 20, 2019
Teaser. No real footage of the Crawley family, or staff. But lots of ticking clocks, ringing bells, and the song of course.
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