A Garbage Pail Kid <-- Who we'd like to play us in our biopic.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Bye Buddy! Hope you find your dad!"
It's biopic week in theaters or as we like to call it "the lives of famous people, as told by better looking famous people."
Hope y'all are having a super swell holiday season or as we like to call it "don't get sucked into stupid family shit... season."
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
HOLMES
AND
WATSON
AKA
"inevitable name for millennial targeted clothing brand"
PG-13 / 1 hr 30 mins
Comedy / Sony
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Ya know the old saying you can put blush on a kangaroo... but it'll still kick you in the gut? Ya, well, neither do we, but we feel it has some resonance here. Mostly because it involves dressing up things in hopes of making them funny, but in the end you may feel sick to your stomach for your efforts. Which may be the case with seeing this right-o reteaming of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, who, if you like them, really nailed it with Step Brothers and Talladega Nights. Buuuuut that doesn't seem to be the case here, at least by reviewers opinions (see below) and moviegoers which gave it a D+ after it's first night in theaters. Apparently not many people find the ingenious detective duo taking selfies (and belfies?) funny.
But hey, at least someone got a makeover in all this, right? Right.
REVIEWS
No one is recommending it, but they're not saying it's the worst movie ever made either.
"Holmes & Watson" is more of a well-meaning misfire than a total train wreck. It's frustrating mainly because all of these folks can do much better. They can be a lot Daffier." - LA Times
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 4%
(24 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: hardcore Will Ferrell / John C. Reilly fans
(Not): anyone else
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VICE
AKA
"look! a double entendre!"
R / 2 hrs 12 mins
Biopic-Satire-Drama / Annapurna
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's a movie where your political preference is very likely to influence your desire and enjoyment. How could it not? While the filmmakers may argue otherwise, it's kind of inherent in a biopic that satirizes the life of a guy so uncaring about his public image he embraced the title "Darth Veep" - as in Dick Cheney, as played by Christian Bale (who yet again changed his body significantly for a role).
But this isn't a normal biopic subject (usually it's more inspirational figures and less someone nicknamed after the most famous villain of all time) and this isn't a normal biopic. Which make sense since it's directed by Adam McKay, who helmed The Big Short as well as.. both Anchormans? Yup. So expect irrenverency mixed with serious outrage (McKay is a noted and opinionated liberal).
REVIEWS
Don't have data, but we'd bet movie critics bend more left than right politically, so take that into account, but even so, reviews still somewhat split, but more positive.
"[A] slick, wildly meta, and occasionally too-clever portrait of the most influential and easily least understood figure to ever hold the nation's second-highest post." - EW
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 67%
(172 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: democrats
(Not): republicans
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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
DESTROYER
AKA
"nickname for your adorable new puppy when you go to work and forget to put your shoes away, or your pillows, or your couch, or your... "
R / 2 hrs 3 mins
Drama-Mystery-Thriller / Annapurna
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's Nicole Kidman goin' all in. And you'll probably want to too if you check this one out, because "all in" is what this one's about - the performances, the noir atmosphere, the gritty redemption story. Which, speaking of, is about a grizzled cop who years ago had an undercover situation go wrong and she's looking to right some wrongs. But let's be clear, Kidman is the reason for being, and going on this one. Her physical transformation is gonna get a lot of the talk, as is her overall performance. Beyond that, we also have the obvious fact this is a role (anti-hero cop) dominated by men, so that's worth noting as well.
REVIEWS
The reviews are mostly positive, but take note they don't say it's entirely fresh or particularly "fun" in the typical sense, more of an "I appreciated that" movie. Good amount of praise for Kidman.
"Rarely are women cast in these roles of screwed-up, hard-boiled antiheroes with a lifetime of regrets to make up for, and even if this is your basic LA noir, it's well-executed and satisfying in all the ways it should be." - NPR
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 75%
(93 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: noir fans / people who appreciate an all in performance, especially when an actor "transforms" their appearance
(Not): for people who want their movies to be bright and cheery
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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
ON THE BASIS
OF SEX
AKA
"sure she's pretty, but can she do planks two days after cancer surgery?"
PG-13 / 2 hrs
Biopic-Drama / Focus
WHAT'S THE DEAL
This one's pretty straightforward. You're gonna get a solid telling of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's early career with some darn good actors about how she became the Notorious RBG. Mainly focuses on Ginsburg's time in law school where she had to bust ass and her Supreme Court case which helped change US laws around gender. Ginsburg played by Felicity Jones (Theory of Everything, Rogue One) and Armie Hammer (Call me By Your Name) her husband.
REVIEWS
"For those not blessed with such courageous figures, Ginsburg's story will be especially inspirational, making it relatively easy to forgive a few manipulative and melodramatic touches in the telling." - Variety
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 73%
(83 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: legal buffs, anybody lookin for inspiration about how to "f the man"
(Not): for people who think jokes about women's places being in the kitchen are still funny
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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
STAND AND OLLIE
AKA
"Laurel and Hardy"
PG / 1 hr 37 mins
Biopic-Drama-Comedy / Sony Classics
WHAT'S THE DEAL
*shock* *gasp* *double take* You won't believe what we have in store for you! It's... another biopic?! Why yes indeed! Step right up! But this ain't no story about evil villains nor valiant heroines, oh no no no. Folks, what we have is a tale for the ages, a story that stands the test of time, a story of dear ol brotherhood. The kind where you kick each other in the shins and bop each other on the heads just for a laugh. You see, it takes a lot of work behind the scenes to make a well timed car horn look so easy (and funny). And that right there can cause stress on a comedy duo, especially one at the end of their (legendary) careers when the world has begun to move on from your brand of humor. But does that stop these two whirling dervishes of fun?? Of course not! But to see how it all plays out you'll have to walk, nay run, to your local cinemas!
Stan and Ollie, a biopic of Laurel and Hardy starring John C. Reilly and Steve Coogan, as told by a 1930's radio ad.
REVIEWS
Pretty darn great.
"It's a story about the serious side of comedians that never indulges in sad-clown sentimentality. And it intelligently explores the limitations of working partnerships in a way that neither canonizes nor excoriates its famous subjects." - The Wrap
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
(37 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: TCM (Turner Classic Movies) devotees / those who love to see behind the curtain
(Not): for people who turn to YouTube or Instagram for most of their lols
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Aquaman ($67.4 / $72.7) NEW
Superhero who can talk to fish and kick ass
63% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Mary Poppins Ret... ($22.2 / $31) NEW
She back
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Bumblebee ($21.6) NEW
Origin story / Transformers reboot
94% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Spider-man: Into the Spi... ($16.7 / $65)
Lots of Spideys save lots of universes
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Mule ($9.7 / $35)
Clint Eastwood hauls drugs
60% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) The Grinch ($8.2 / $253)
The green one goes modern
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Second Act ($6.5) NEW
J Lo proves the haters wrong
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Ralph Breaks the Inter... ($4.6 / $162)
Sequel to Wreck-It-Ralph
88% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Welcome to Marwen ($2.4) NEW
Steve Carell uses his dolls / art to recover
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Mary Queen of Scots ($2.8 / $25)
Margot Robbie / Saoirse Ronan battle
60% - Trailer - Showtimes
ESCAPE ROOM
Think combo of Saw and Cabin in the Woods where group of people deal with imminent death and puzzles.
GRETA
March 1, 2019
Chloë Grace Moritz returns a bag to a woman who becomes a mother figure, and then becomes a crazy figure.
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US
March 15, 2019
Next from Jordan Peele, who directed Get Out, where a family is terrorized by seeming twins of themselves. Peele has stated it's a horror movie about how we're our own worst enemies.
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MEN IN BLACK
INTERNATIONAL
June 14, 2019
Thor: Ragnarok re-pairing with Tessa Thompson joining Chris Hemsworth as new agents and directed by Gary F. Gray (Straight Outta Compton), but still looks kinda bland.
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