The depths of winter burn deep. And other musings.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Aw man, I shot Marvin in the face."
Aaaah January, where Hollywood studios send their movies to die - or maybe they're just trying to kill us with the shlock they put out. Unclear.
Happy New Year!
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
ESCAPE ROOM
AKA
"that mindset you get whenever someone starts giving their thoughts on the current and future valuation of Bitcoin"
PG-13 / 1 hr 49 mins
Horror / Sony
WHAT'S THE DEAL
The inevitability of this movie is akin to that of someone's desire to kick another someone in the shins while participating in an actual escape room. Because of course there's a movie where a group of random (or are they random...) people is brought together in hopes of winning a million dollars, but then are then locked in not one, not two, but several themed rooms where the only winner is the one who escapes alive - all while some "other" watches and controls the events on screen. If you're thinkin gee, this sounds a looot like Cabin in the Woods... we feel you. And Saw? Yup, that too. So yeah, it ain't entirely original. And while we don't know what all the puzzles are, we do know:
Horrible painful deaths? Indubitably.
People screaming at each other? You betcha.
Setup for a sequel if enough people wanna watch other humans be tortured because we're sick, sick creatures? Come ooooon.
Your attendance? ...........
FastPass: a horror movie that's (not quite) literally a combination of Saw and Cabin in the Woods. Some 90's horror fans may recognize some familiarity to Cube as well.
REVIEWS
As we know, horror usually doesn't get a ton of love from reviewers, so don't count on it here. We're hopeful this is at least a serviceable horror flick with some interesting deaths or at least some fun "level design?"
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: horror fans / anyone who's ever wanted to kill someone while doing an actual escape room
(Not): for people who think an "escape room" is where you go when the poor people revolt
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = Millions)
1) Aquaman ($52.1 / $189)
Superhero who can talk to fish and kick ass
63% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Mary Poppins Ret... ($28.4 / $99)
She back
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Bumblebee ($20.9 / $67)
Origin story / Transformers reboot
94% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Spider-man: Into the Spi.. ($18.8 / $104)
Lots of Spideys save lots of universes
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Mule ($12.2 / $61)
Clint Eastwood hauls drugs
60% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Vice ($7.8 / $18) NEW
Dick Cheney satirical biopic
64% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Holmes and Watson ($7.4 / $20) NEW
Ferrell & Reilly as bumbling detectives
8% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Second Act ($7.4 / $22)
J Lo proves the haters wrong
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Ralph Breaks the Inter... ($6.7 / $176)
Sequel to Wreck-It-Ralph
88% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) The Grinch ($4.2 / $265)
The green one goes modern
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
A DOG'S WAY HOME
A really really (really) sappy movie about a dog who gets lost, has adventures (including befriending a mountain lion??) and then is found. Apparently based on some book, or like a story told by a four year old, we're not sure.
REPLICAS
Keanu Reeves makes another interesting (questionable?) choice in this "small," aka low budget. sci-fi movie where he steals government tech to replicate his family after they die in a car crash.
THE UPSIDE
Some star power here (Kevin Hart, Bryan Cranston, Nicole Kidman). Quadriplegic billionaire is taken care of by an ex-convict lookin' to make good. Inspired by a true story and remake of French movie The Intouchables (yup, right spelling). Early reviews are split.
THE KID
WHO WOULD BE KING
January 25, 2019
Second trailer. A King Arthur story set in modern day where a 12 year old kid is the sword puller. Directed by Joe Cornish who did the excellent Attack the Block. NOTE: release date moved up from March.
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HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U
June 14, 2019
Sequel to cheeky horror flick (which made a ton of money off a tiny budget) where victim has to relive her death until she solves it - this time she gets some help from friends.
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TEEN SPIRIT
April 4, 2019
Elle Fanning is a shy kid from Eastern Europe who enters a singing competition and does (surprisingly?) well. Part of the hook is she sings popular songs by artists like Robyn, Katy Perry & more. The always good Rebecca Hall is in supporting too.
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