McConaughey tries to out McConaughey McConaughey.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up.
See this?
This....is my BOOMSTICK!"
Saw Aquaman this past weekend. Sorta felt necessary just to have a take and oh boy, is that one goofy. They clearly had some fun with the designs (definitely the best part), and Jason Momoa does what he needs to do, but certainly wouldn't call it a good movie. Did like some of the camera work during the action scenes though.
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
THE KID
WHO WOULD BE KING
AKA
"the inevitable name of a certain over tanned person's memoir"
PG / 2 hrs
Adventure-Fantasy-Family / FOX
WHAT'S THE DEAL
This movie's cinematic reference points may be better at describing the film than a simple plot exploration - because when you associate something with The Neverending Story, The Goonies, Harry Potter, and being Spielberg"ian," you kinda get it, right? It's that whole ordinary kid becomes extraordinary thing again, which is pretty timeless.
However, while it takes on an old structure, it's important to note how very "modern aware" it seems. Which is to say, it treats magic, evil creatures and Excalibur as one might imagine one would in 2019 - with initial disbelief/heavy heavy skepticism, but then holy shit, nuh uh, NUH UH awe. And ya know, references YouTube and Google.
Let's also be clear, this ain't for you if you're over 17. You very well could enjoy it if you are, but know that the target here is a kid who's pretty sure he's not getting whisked away to magic school, but not totally sure. And that sense of wonder makes it a little easier to buy into a normal bullied british kid pulling a magic sword from a stone and having Merlin (Patrick Stewart part of the time / young british kid other part) teach him how to be a hero in order to vanquish an ancient evil. Or maybe you're just one of those 38 year olds who still believes Santa exists. Either way, bring that delightful (willful?) ignorance and enjoy.
NOTE: directed by Joe Cornish, whose first movie Attack the Block, about a group of british kids taking on nasty aliens, was really great (and also helped launched the career of Star Wars' John Boyega).
REVIEWS
Not saying it's an instant classic, but quite fun.
"[It's] a surprisingly delightful film full of action, heart, a crazy-haired Patrick Stewart (as "old" Merlin) and a few genuinely good gags, and it really couldn't have come at a better time." - Associated Press
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 87%
(52 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: parents looking to enjoy a decent flick with their kids / childlike adults
(Not): for those who had their sense of wonder crushed into tiny pieces upon seeing their parents slip five bucks under their pillow instead of a winged tooth hoarder
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SERENITY
AKA
"what the filmmakers will be repeatedly mumbling to themselves after this presumably loses a bunch of money"
R / 1 hrs 46 mins
Suspense-Drama-Mystery / Avrion Pictures
WHAT'S THE DEAL
These are actual quotes by Matthew McConaughey in this movie:
"You know how in Plymouth, they like to say, everybody knows everything? It would be funny if the truth was, nobody knows anything."
"Weird stuff goin' on right now, this whole island's apart of it, but nobody knows it."
"Where in the world are we?"
Like, does he pick these roles, OR, do they pick him? Unclear.
Beyond a bunch of McConaugheyisms, you'll also get Anne Hathaway as his ex-wife, begging him to kill her new husband (Jason "I get cast as annoying husband in everything" Clarke), who seems like not just a douchebag, but like a whole doucheroom. ........? Whatever, he's a dick, ok? But apparently, as noted above, the island McConaughey moved to to get away from all that (and enjoy life as a fishing boat captain) is more than what it seems - just like those damn owls.
We noted it last week, but this movie would probably be a VOD premiere if not for all the names in it; even with that, we're still a bit surprised it's getting a theatrical release. We're betting it's not great, but it could just be one of those so bad = kinda good movies? /shrug But that's still probably just wishful thinking.
We leave it up to you dear readers to solve this paradise set puzzle.
NOTE: also stars Diane Lane (just love her), and Djimon Hounsou.
REVIEWS
None yet, but our guess is middling to bad. But with that recent A Dog's Way Home, who knows that those wacky reviewers will do.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: those who just love giving a movie a shot, no expectations needed
(Not): for those who think a 30 second Lincoln ad is too much McConaughey
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(*4*-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Glass ($46.5) NEW
Sequel to Unbreakable & Split
37% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) The Upside ($18.4 / $47)
Kevin Hart/Bryan Cranston unlikely friends
39% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Aquaman ($12.7 / $307)
Superhero who can talk to fish and kick ass
64% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Dragon Ball Super: Broly ($11.9) NEW
20th film of long running TV cartoon
81% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Spider-man: Into the Spi.. ($10.2 / $161)
Lots of Spideys save lots of universes
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) A Dog's Way Home ($9.9 / $24)
Puppy gets lost, has adventures, is found
56% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Mary Poppins Ret... ($7.2 / $160)
She back
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Escape Room ($6.8 / $42)
Horror movie about well, you know...
54% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Bumblebee ($6 / $117)
Origin story / Transformers reboot
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) On the Basis of Sex ($4.8 / $18)
Ruth Bader Ginsburg early years biopic
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
MISS BALA
Remake of Mexican film starring Gina Rodriguez (from Jane The Virgin). Woman gets abducted by drug cartel while visiting family in Tijuana, but says f that and learns to fight back.
LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
ARCTIC
Plane crashes. Two people survive. One is hurt. One has to decide if they stay or go try and find help. Stars Mads Mikkelsen.
NANCY DREW
AND THE HIDDEN STAIRCASE
March 15, 2019
Produced by Ellen and starring Sophia Lillis from IT; a new take on the precocious teen.
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THE HUMMINGBIRD PROJECT
March 15, 2019
Jesse Eisenberg and Alexander Skarsgård are cousins who try and best their former boss (Salma Hayek) in creating a faster stock trading line.
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THE BEACH BUM
March 22, 2019
Red band trailer ( i.e. naughty words and things). Next movie from Harmony Koren who did Spring Breakers. Matthew McConaughey is Moon Dog. Expect weirdness.
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JOHN WICK:
CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM
May 17, 2019
Wick has a $14 million bounty on his head. Guns will be shot. Lots of them. Halle Berry also joins the assassin crew.
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