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Feb 06, 2019

GUESS THE QUOTE

"It's the so-called normal guys who always let you down.
Sickos never scare me.
Least they're committed."

A heads up we're not including Super Bowl spots in the trailer sections, but just in case you missed some of the bigger ones, here's the Avengers: Endgame spot, Captain Marvel spot and the Toy Story 4 spot.

Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

COLD PURSUIT

AKA
"the post-it picked out of a 'what the hell should we call this' bucket including fellow names: Frigid Vengeance, Bitter Hunt & Hard Powder (<--actual working title of movie)"

R / 1 hr 58 mins

Action-Dark Comedy / Lionsgate

WHAT'S THE DEAL

This one coulda been five words: Liam Neeson revenge action movie. It's that simple. And yet, not.

While technically another Neeson action movie, it's almost more dark comedy with action (and lots of violence) as means for said humor. It's a remake of a Norwegian movie that employs a similar frosty setting and plot that follows a father exacting brutal comeuppance on a drug cartel for killing his son - which in turn starts a cartel <> cartel war since one side can't imagine it's some random dude who drives a snow plow with no prior experience in the art of death dealing killing everyone (neither can we, but that's movies eh?).

Second, it's being well reviewed, unlike almost all other Neeson action flicks. Even in light of some apparently questionable genre tropes (dealing with race / gender) which are in there for the sake of it or are so obvious as to be a "joke."

And third, well, there's the recent comments Neeson made when promoting the movie where he talked about wanting to get revenge in real life after a friend was harmed years back - except it dealt not just with revenge, but race as well.

So yeah, it's a Liam Neeson revenge action movie, plus a body sack full of baggage with a nice RT score spray painted on top.

NOTE: director is same as Norwegian original.

REVIEWS

"By pumping up the darkly comedic undertones, augmenting the frigid chill of the original, Moland's terrific, riveting picture distinguishes itself from other rote remakes." - Variety

NOTE: most reviews were published before Neeson's comments. Not sure how it would've changed (if at all), but yeah.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83%
(46 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: people who think an inventive death is worthy of cheering

(Not): for those who thought the one death in UP was too many

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THE LEGO MOVIE 2:
THE SECOND PART

AKA
"that movie after the first The Lego Movie"

PG / 1 hr 30 mins

Comedy-Family-Animated / Warner Bros.

WHAT'S THE DEAL

We don't really need to tell you much about this one, except if watching the movie is like A) stepping on a Lego piece barefoot or B) the feeling of completing an epic Lego structure when you're 9 years old.

Lucky for your metaphorical eye foot (?), it's apparently just as self-aware and nearly as funny as the first (see below). Seems like a dual parent / child enjoyment movie.

So go ahead, bring your kids, bring yourself. Hell, bring some random kids off the street that aren't yours if you don't have any. Wait, nope, nevermind, definitely don't do that. Just see it if you're interested, you'll almost certainly enjoy it.

NOTE: Phil Lord & Chris Miller, who wrote this and directed/wrote the original The Lego Movie also produced/wrote the recent Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse everyone is loving, if that matters.

REVIEWS

"The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is pretty darn good, but also you can't help shake the feeling that it's just never going to live up to the exciting newness of the first." - AP

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%
(66 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: people who loved the first one or in general those who like a self-aware / self referencial flick that does it mostly right

(Not): for those who hate pop-culture references commin' at them fast and furious (see what we did there?)

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WHAT MEN WANT

AKA
"a movie title that lets men make way too many terrible jokes about... what men want"

R / 1 hr 57 mins

Comedy-Romantic Comedy / Paramount

WHAT'S THE DEAL

This is no sequel to Mel Gibson's What Women Want. It is the same concept reversed, however. But that was obvious.

But as much as WWW was a sign of the times so is What Men Want. Which is to say, they're basically the same times. The gender imbalance is still in full effect here, and even if men have evolved slightly (have they?), it's not even close to enough. Which is how Taraji P. Henson keeps getting screwed over at her sports management firm - cuz, ya know, dudes (see pic).

Lucky then (unlucky?) for her, she gains the ability to hear the thoughts of her male counterparts and once she gets over the initial freakout, figures this is worth a shot at making things even. Albeit with snippets of Shaq thinking about pretzels.

NOTES: also stars Tracy Morgan (Jordan? same thing?) as father to client Henson is trying to sign. Most certainly NOT directed by Nancy Meyers.

REVIEWS

None yet, but I wouldn't expect this to be a stunner with reviewers.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: those who want to see some wish fulfillment against stereotypical masculinity

(Not): for those who got their boxer briefs in a bunch after watching that recent Gillette ad

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THE PRODIGY

AKA
"what we (unsuccessfully) tried to nickname ourselves in 3rd grade"

R / 1 hr 32 mins

Horror / Orion Pictures

WHAT'S THE DEAL

Does it say something about us as humans that "creepy kid horror" is a entire genre of movie? Do these movies come from our fears of being supplanted by the next generation, made to wallow in our living deaths? Or do they tap into the angst many parents feel about how children alter their lives in innumerable ways, often "killing" the old and bearing a new one? Or are these questions way too deep for movies that generally just wanna use kids to freak us the fuck out?

Yeah, mostly the latter. Which is fine, cuz let's be real, kids can be super creepy sometimes. Especially when they're crazy intelligent, start acting nefarious and can outwit their parents (I mean where DO you hide the candy at that point?). But is the kid actually evil and crazy smart, or is their something darker at work here? And do you continue to trust and love your kid even when they're exhibiting serial killer signs A-Z. That's basically the play here.

Fun Idea: offer to babysit for friend who is first time parent and give them tickets to see this. Tell them it's a movie about the enduring love between child and parent. If done, please record reaction when you see them next and send to us. :)

NOTE: stars Taylor Schilling from Orange is the New Black as the mom.

REVIEWS

Limited so far, but seems to be doing some things well, but overall, falling a bit short. But as we know, horror rarely fully hits with critics/

"The filmmakers figure out how to make a creepy kid chilling again, then stop short, closing the case too early." - AV Club

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 50%
(12 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: horror fans, but also parents to make themselves feel like their kids "aren't that bad"

(Not): for new parents (who don't have time anyway)

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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) Glass ($9.5 / $89)
Sequel to Unbreakable & Split
37% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

2) The Upside ($8.9 / $75)
Kevin Hart/Bryan Cranston unlikely friends
39% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

3) Miss Bala ($6.9) NEW
Woman taken by drug cartel fights back
24% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

4) Aquaman ($4.9 / $324)
Superhero who can talk to fish and kick ass
64% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

5) Spider-man: Into the Spi.. ($4.5 / $175)
Lots of Spideys save lots of universes
97% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

6) Green Book ($4.3 / $56)
Two men (one black/white), unlikely friends
82% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

7) The Kid Who Would Be... ($4.2 / $13)
Modern take on King Arthur
37% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

8) A Dog's Way Home ($3.6 / $36)
Puppy gets lost, has adventures, is found
56% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

9) Escape Room ($2.9 / $52)
Horror movie about well, you know...
54% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

10) They Shall Not Grow Old ($2.4 / $11)
WW I doc from Peter Jackson
99% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

ALITA: BATTLE ANGEL

Most noteworthy because of the names involved (directed by Robert Rodriguez, produced by Jim Cameron), and less the straight CGI fest that is the movie, which is based on a popular anime. Early reviews say action can be fun, but story can be lacking too.

The Trailer

HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U

Woman in college has to keep dying in order to figure out her killer. Oh wait, that was the first one, er, nm, it's ALSO this one. Except this time her friends get to help. First one was well liked for messing with genre tropes / being funny.

The Trailer

ISN'T ROMANTIC

Rebel Wilson is cynical about love, so inevitably she gets trapped in a romantic comedy world after hitting her head. Basically everyone becomes Amy Adams in Enchanted while Wilson is still her love surly self.

The Trailer

WONDER PARK
March 15, 2019

Girl is drawn to run down park where her imagination can bring it back to life.

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MISSING LINK
April 12, 2019

Next movie from stop motion outfit Laika, who did Coraline and Boxtrolls. Zach Galifianakis voices "Mr. Link" who needs some help finding his people. Hugh Jackman and Zoe Saldana add voices too.

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UGLY DOLLS
May 3, 2019

Second trailer. Basically another Trolls movie. Lots of singing and you're ok as who you are affirmations.

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THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR
May 17, 2019

Young adult book turned movie about two people falling in love over the course of a day; one is cynical about love and the other is extremely not. Oh, and one of them is being deported. Stars Yara Shahidi from Black-ish/Grown-ish.

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HOBBS AND SHAW
August 2, 2019

A Fast and Furious spinoff where The Rock and Jason Statham take on a bionic(?) Idris Elba. It's straight up a superhero movie.

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What's In Theaters +

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