Head trauma. The hot new way to find love!

Feb 13, 2019

GUESS THE QUOTE
"My name is Dug.
I have just met you, and I love you."

Hello/welcome to the new readers, glad you're here. And thank you to fellow movie watcher MG Siegler for most (note: all) of said readers joining.

Quick explainer that our goal is to keep you informed of upcoming movies in a colloquial and as if we're friends manner. We feature every national theatrical release (no streaming) and will highlight notable limited releases (i.e. well reviewed and/or noteworthy cast & crew). We don't see the movies beforehand, but have worked in movies for 10+ years so have a good base to give you the context - plus all the basics you need to decide (like trailers, loooots of trailers this week). Feedback/critiques and your thoughts on new movies you've liked and hated are always appreciated.

Last thing, please add tellme@whatsintheaters.com to your contacts to help prevent this gettin buried.

Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

ALITA:
BATTLE ANGEL

AKA
"so it's not a sequel to Tim Burton's 2014 film Big Eyes?"

PG-13 / 2 hrs 5 mins

Action-Sci-Fi-Adventure / FOX

WHAT'S THE DEAL

Dear Moviegoer - we are here to remind you that computers are friggen awesome. For real, look at all the cool shit they can do: your taxes, spread silly gifs of dogs, or maybe say CGI the hell out of a Japanese manga about a girl cyborg who is found dismembered in a garbage heap with no memory of who she is or where she came from, only to be hunted by an evil dude because she's really a super weapon (and you thought your Wednesday was going poorly...).

Sure, story and character are cool and all, but why focus on that when you can literally turn 1's and 0's into epic slow-mo diving between extendo knife fingers. Ooh! Or or brutal Motorball competitions where cyborgs chase and destroy each other gladiator style *BOOM, KAPOW!*, all for the delight of viewers hungry with bloodlust - as well for the people sitting in the stadium.

Emotions? We gueeeess they're useful, but ice hard code, that's where it's at.

Sincerely,
Director Robert Rodriguez (Sin City) and producer Jim Cameron (Avatar 1,2,3,4,5 <--yup).

For the Record: we quite enjoyed the much derided and CGI acid trip that was Speed Racer, so we can appreciate a good visual-fest.

REVIEWS

As noted, the action keeps being mentioned as the star. While not "fresh," it does have more recommends than not.

"A pileup of clichés in service to technological whiz-bangery, "Alita" is one more story of the not quite human brought to life with hubris and bleeding-edge science." - NY Times

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 59%
(135 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: people who think the Boss Battle in superhero movies is always the best scene

(Not): for those who think "movie magic" lives in the quiet moments

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HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U

AKA
"the most passive aggressive well wishing ever"

PG-13 / 2 hrs

Horror-Comedy / Universal

WHAT'S THE DEAL

How rough to be a horror (hero)ine, eh? If you're successful, sure, you live, but if you're too successful, your screenwriting overlords will put you through hell again (and again).

But "again and again" is just a normal Tuesday for characters of Happy Death Day, where it's essentially Groundhog Day meets Scream. This sequel keeps that repetition train chugging, but this time involves the rest of the characters in the repeat game of trying to find who keeps offing them all - and apparently gets a bit sci-fi/alternate universe"y" in the process.

If you're wondering, it's the same director as the first and thus keeps the same self-aware / comedic tone that helped the first one break out and make a ton of money off a $5 million budget.

NOTES: In theaters today. Horror mega producer Jason Blum (Paranormal Activity, Get Out) running oversight again.

REVIEWS

""Happy Death Day 2U" can't quite replicate the feelings of joy and discovery of the original, but Landon deserves credit for varying the tune, while still playing the hits that will please the fans of its predecessor." - LA Times

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 65%
(75 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: horror fans who like laughs to accompany their screams

(Not): for those who think Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween are the same movie

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ISN'T IT ROMANTIC

AKA
"wait, is this question rhetorical?
are we being quizzed?"

PG-13 / 1 hr 28 mins

Comedy-Romantic Comedy / Warner Bros.

WHAT'S THE DEAL

It's the movie version of your friend who makes snide remarks when they see couples lovin up on each other, but secretly really wants to be a part of that couple. Cuz sometimes you hate until ya got? /shrug

Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect) is our aforementioned acerbic friend and she gets stuck with (stuck to?) Liam Hemsworth in a bizzaro romantic comedy world where everyone is happy in love, restricted to PG-13 actions and probably gets unlimited Sephora - this after she hits her head escaping a mugging of course (man, head injuries - and here we thought they were only good for early onset dementia :/ ).

Think of it as a reverse of the movie Enchanted, where everyone else in the world becomes Amy Adams and Wilson is stuck being the "normal one."

NOTE: In theaters today. Adam DeVine (Workaholics) plays Wilson's friend who partners up with Priyanka Chopra (TV show Quantico).

REVIEWS

Apparently mocks just enough to get people on board, while still satisfying enough for most on the rom-com feel good tropes. Rebel Wilson getting appreciation for doing well in dual role of lover-cynic.

"Isn't It Romantic pulls off a sweet sleight-of-hand trick as a rom-com-within-a-rom-com, mocking all of the classic rom-com tropes while still letting us indulge in them." - EW

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 65%
(52 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: romantic comedy fans duh, especially the ones who hate watch all of them on Netflix when everyone else is asleep

(Not): for those who actually hate Valentine's Day, and don't just say they do because they're single

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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) The Lego Movie 2: The S... ($34.7) NEW
Pretty self explanatory
85% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

2) What Men Want ($18.2) NEW
Taraji P. can hear men's thoughts
46% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

3) Cold Pursuit ($11) NEW
Liam Neeson goes mad dad again
74% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

4) The Upside ($7.1 / $86)
Kevin Hart/Bryan Cranston unlikely friends
40% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

5) Glass ($6.3 / $98)
Sequel to Unbreakable & Split
36% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

6) The Prodigy ($5.9) NEW
Smart kid turns evil kid
46% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

7) Green Book ($3.4 / $61)
Two men (one black/white), unlikely friends
80% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

8) Aquaman ($3.2 / $328)
Superhero who can talk to fish and kick ass
65% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

9) Spider-man: Into the Spi.. ($3 / $180)
Lots of Spideys save lots of universes
97% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

10) Miss Bala ($2.7 / $12)
Woman taken by drug cartel fights back
25% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON:
THE HIDDEN WORLD

The third film and culmination of the well liked Dreamworks series. It's apparently quite good - which the studio has been touting for weeks.

The Trailer

TEEN SPIRIT
April 5, 2019

Second trailer. Elle Fanning is shy kid from Eastern Europe who enters a singing competition and does (surprisingly?) well. Part of the hook is she sings popular songs by artists like Robyn. The always good Rebecca Hall is in supporting too.

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THE CURSE
OF LA LLORONA
April 19, 2019

Full trailer. Based on Latin American folklore of "the weeping woman" who lost her own children and now kidnaps others. Stars Linda Cardellini (Daddy's Home, Freak & Geeks) and produced by James Wan (Saw, The Conjuring).

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PET SEMATARY
April 5, 2019

Second trailer. First off, yes, that's the right spelling. Remake of Stephen King novel where if you bury it, well, it ain't stayin' buried.

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THE HUSTLE
May 10, 2019

Remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. This time it's Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson trying to scam a young tech billionaire.

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TOLKIEN
May 10, 2019

Nicholas Hoult (X-Men / Mad Max) is the LOTR writer in his early years.

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ALADDIN
May 24, 2019

A "special look" (basically a short trailer) of the live action take. First motion shot of Will Smith as the Genie, which.... well, you decide.

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MA
May 31, 2019

Octavia Spencer (Hidden Figures, Shape of Water) gets to have some fun in horror movie where she lets kids party at her house, and then begins to mess with (murder?) them. Produced by Jason Blum (Get Out, Split etc.). Looks (knowingly) bonkers.

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SHAFT
June 14, 2019

Samuel L. Jackson is back as the iconic character, along with his nerdy estranged son, but it's more reboot than sequel to the 2000 version. Co-written by Kenay Barris who created Black-ish.

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CHILD'S PLAY
June 21, 2019

Straight remake of the creepy killer doll horror - Aubrey Plaza (Parks and Rec) plays the mom. We recently re-watched the original and while ridiculous (duh), holds up decently well.

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YESTERDAY
June 28, 2019

Struggling singer ends up in alt universe (after hitting his head, how else?) where no one knows The Beatles... except him. Yup. Directed by Danny Boyle and same writer as Love Actually.

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FROZEN 2
November 22, 2019

Teaser. Oh boy, get those ear plugs ready (ya know, for the kid screams - of excitement).

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What's In Theaters +

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