And the Oscar goes to... none of these movies.

Feb 27, 2019

GUESS THE QUOTE
"We all have our little faults.
Mine's in California."

How about them Oscars eh? Yup.

Didn't actually get to partake, but the flight I was on did allow me to knock off Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is Born - the final two best picture nominees I had yet to watch. But man, some odd winners eh?

I know I'm not getting at anything new when I say.... Vice for best makeup and hairstyling?! Seriously? I mean sure, turning Christian Bale into Cheney couldn't have been exactly easy, but did you see what they did to Margot Robbie in Mary Queen of Scots? I mean, straight robbed (<--intended).

:)

Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

GRETA

AKA
"reason 2,372 not to move to New York City - right after "is that dog crap or.....'"

R / 1 hr 38 mins

Thriller-Drama-Horror / Focus Features

WHAT'S THE DEAL

Hey, what's your phone number? You: ....?*

Oh, can we also grab your email login? You: ...?!?!*

How about what time you usually go to sleep and leave yourself incredibly vulnerable? You: .....!!!!!!!*

Seven exclamation points indeed. Which is why you would make a terrible potential victim for Greta - the seemingly nice motherly figure who is aaactually a bonkers psycho who leaves multiple expensive handbags on the subway (let's start there) in hopes of some unsuspecting New Yorker returning it to her, which is of course super implausible and just really laughable? It's like as if....

....Choë Grace Moretz's character: 👋

Right.

Whelp, if we're going to have a crazy murderous stalker movie, we need a nice trusting soul who can be terrorized don't we? Of course we do. And terrorized she will be, by Isabelle Huppert; who American audiences mainly know (if at all) from Elle - for which Huppert was nominated for an Oscar.

Which is great, because along with Grace Moretz, you have two excellent actresses elevating what seems like otherwise straightforward B movie stuff. So go (or don't) for the delightful voyeuristic sadism, stay for the good acting.

*hopefully

REVIEWS

Kinda that you buy in or you don't vibe here. E.g. New York Times got into it: "While the movie is impossible to take seriously, it's also hard to resist"

While the LA Times did not: "Unfortunately, despite the odd hallucinatory freakout and one deliciously nasty Grand Guignol moment, neither the story nor the telling has the requisite juice to fulfill, let alone transcend, the audience's expectations of this well-worn material."

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 58%
(50 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: those who love to experience the worst of humans from a nice puffy chair

(Not): for those who get frustrated by "movie decision making" (leave! just leave already!)

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

TYLER PERRY'S
A MADEA FAMILY FUNERAL

AKA
"so wait, is Tyler Perry in this?"

PG / 1 hr 49 mins

Comedy /Lionsgate

WHAT'S THE DEAL

If you have yet to proverbially meet the indelible Miss Madea, we're pretty sure you won't be in attendance at her funeral.

Which is fine, because plenty of others will - seeing as it's the (supposed) end for the character Tyler Perry created and turned into an incredibly successful franchise (as well as help turn Atlanta into one of the biggest filming locations in the country).

For those of you who are paying respects, we're pretty sure you know what's up - which is way more weird wild party than tears and hankies.

NOTE: to be clear, it's not Madea's funeral being referenced in the title... or is it. 😱

REVIEWS

Madea and reviewers are not friends - hell, you could call them enemies based on the scores these movies get. We expect similarly poor marks here.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: those who've seen at least one of the other eight, yup, eight, Madea headlined movies (key here--->) and enjoyed it/them.

(Not): for folks who are currently saying with a furrowed brow, "Madea who?"

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
CLIMAX

AKA
"innuendo, the movie"

R / 1 hr 36 mins

Drama-Mystery-Thriller / A24

WHAT'S THE DEAL

Look, it's a movie titled "Climax," and it has the above image. So, ya know, you should probably figure what you're in for - which is that kinetic "movie as a drug" type vibe. And funny that, there are drugs in this movie, LSD (AKA acid AKA mind candy AKA recent addition to daily regime of tech bros) to be precise.

To be even more so, someone slips that brain expanding confetti into a bowl of punch at a rehearsal for a group of dancers and as you can imagine, shit gets weird - sex, violence, dancing, all around visual craziness. Which is kind of the M.O. of Gasper Noé who directed this - in 2015 he directed Love, a 3D porn that played at the Cannes film festival (how's that again?). Except that one was not well received, and this one is (see below).

REVIEWS

"More brilliantly deranged, in its microscopic vision of society in collapse, than anything the director has ever inflicted on us." - AV Club

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%
(71 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: those whose favorite nights are the ones they can't remember

(Not): for those who still refer to marijuana as "wacky weed"

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) How To Train Your Dr... ($55 / $58) NEW
Culmination (maybe) of the well liked series
92% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

2) Alita: Battle Angel ($12.3 / $61)
Future set sci-fi, cyborg girl turns weapon
59% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

3) The Lego Movie 2: The S... ($9.7 / $83)
Pretty self explanatory
86% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

4) Fighting With My Family ($7.8 / $8)
Wrestling comedy / produced by The Rock
91% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

5) Isn't It Romantic ($7.1 / $33)
Rebel Wilson hits head, lands in a rom-com
69% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

6) What Men Want ($5.2 / $45)
Taraji P. hits head, can hear men's thoughts
46% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

7) Happy Death Day 2U ($4.9 / $22)
Repeat of the repeat horror/comedy
67% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

8) Cold Pursuit ($3.2 / $27)
Liam Neeson goes mad dad again
70% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

9) The Upside ($3.2 / $100)
Kevin Hart/Bryan Cranston unlikely friends
40% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

10) Run the Race ($2.2) NEW
Religious sports flick / Tim Tebow produced
33% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

CAPTAIN MARVEL

Marvel gets in on that 90's nostalgia trend with this one - it's set in 1995 and only the second Marvel movie to go significantly into the past (the first Captain America the other). It's also notably the first female led Marvel movie (only took em 21 movies too!), with Brie Larson as the powerful superhero.

The Trailer

LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
GLORIA BELL

First off, this has pretty stellar reviews. Which is important to note as the plot, on the surface, is simple - Julianne Moore plays a divorcée who lets loose at dance clubs and deals with all the joys/sadness of life, i.e. love, family, work etc. - but apparently it's quite rewarding.

The Trailer

HER SMELL
April 12, 2019

Elisabeth Moss (Handmaid's Tale, Mad Men) plays a punk star who's not exactly in control. Also has Dan Stevens (Downton Abbey) and Cara Delevingne (Suicide Squad). Lots of solid early reviews - with focus on Moss' performance.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

POKÉMON
DETECTIVE PIKACHU
May 10, 2019

Second trailer. Live action where Pokémon and humans live amongst each other. Ryan Reynolds voices Pikachu who can apparently say more than "pika pika," but only one lucky(?) kid can hear it.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

POMS
May 10, 2019

Diane Keaton joins a retirement community and helps start a cheer squad - along with Jackie Weaver, Pam Grier and Rhea Perlman (Cheers).

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

ROCKETMAN
May 31, 2019

Full trailer. Biopic of Elton John - played by Taron Egerton (Kingsman).

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2
August 16, 2019

Teaser. More birds will be flung.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

What's In Theaters +

Discussion about this post