GUESS THE QUOTE
"He's sorry.
Oh, he's sorry,
he's sorry,
he's sorry...
sorry my ass!"
This is like some unintentional meta-weekend at the theaters. ....? You'll see.
Btw, if you were curious, no, "Hotel Mumbai" is not 12 hours long. #typossuck But it is expanding this weekend, so if you were curious, but don't live in NY/LA, you can probably give it a gander this weekend.
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
DUMBO
AKA
"the adorable mispronunciation we hope kids from Louisiana make when they desire a certain creole dish"
PG / 2 hrs 10 mins
Family-Drama / Disney
WHAT'S THE DEAL
It's the elephant you know, in a story you don't.
See, the original came out in 1941, was only 64 minutes long, and had some complicated elements (read: racially insensitive crows, a baby getting drunk) that had to be removed. So Disney and Tim Burton (as director) seem to have thought, let's take the best parts and make something bigger, something flashier, something more. Whiiiich is pretty hilariously meta because that's basically the overall plot of this new Dumbo. Yes, that adorable little chub-meister who has more wrinkles than your grandpa who thinks sun tanning is what's kept him alive this long, can still fly - and he uses a feather to so. But his feat of flight is no longer the end of the movie, it's basically the beginning.
Soooo... then what? See: that meta-ness we referenced. As in rich guy Michael Keaton buying Danny DeVito's rinky dink, but flying elephant starring, circus and pairing it with the best elements of his massive and "corporately evil" Dreamland (think Disneyland as if thought out by Tim Burton - cuz it was). The obviousness of the comparison to Disney and their gobbling of other media properties makes this all double meta.
But like, do any of the animals even talk, you ask? No, we sigh. *sigh* But you do get Colin Farrell as WW1 vet who has lost an arm/his wife + his kids who basically take the place of Timothy the mouse as Dumbo's caretakers. Eh? EH!?
Eh 😕
REVIEWS
Not great. Seems like it's a case of pizzaz overcoming heart rather than the other way around. As in Dumbo himself seems to get a bit lost in all the human"ness" and CGI.
"The filmmaker's overstuffed visual imagination and appetite for sinister gloom all but trample the enchantment of a tale that, at heart, is simple and whimsical." - David Rooney, The Hollywood Reporter
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 56%
(114 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: kids who demand new entertainment rather than Frozen for the 175th time (or adults for that matter)
(Not): for people who want to remember Dumbo as an uncomplicated, but life lesson giving kids tale (note: probably shouldn't rewatch the original either)
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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
THE BEACH BUM
AKA
"The Big Lebowski with less plot?"
R / 1 hr 35 mins
Comedy / NEON
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Harmony Korine, the writer of KIDS, aka the 90's version of the Tide pod challenge, isn't the punk outsider messin' with people anymore. He's like a real certified ah-dult, well, at least he looks like one.
But just because he's an eligible voter twice over plus ten years, doesn't mean he has to fit into some norm for what people his age do. He can still get Matthew McConaughey to star in a movie titled after a derogatory term likely applied to the actor more than once, where he gets him to play a character named Moondog, who lives a life that an average person just assumes McConaughey actually lives - which means gettin drunk, gettin high, smoochin babes, hanging out with Snoop Dogg, jamming with Jimmy Buffett, layin' on the beach and writing poetry... man.
On second thought, maybe Korine still is messin' with people, and maybe it's McConaughey he's messin' with...
One thing we do know, he is definitely messin' with Zac Efron after getting him to be captured on camera sport this beard.
REVIEWS
Some embrace Moondog and his effortless excess and others are bored by it.
"The strength of The Beach Bum is in its visuals, the vibe it captures as a mood board/tone poem." - Katie Walsh, Nerdist
"What "The Beach Bum" celebrates as transgression is pure tedium. What it takes for divine lunacy is frat house doggerel." - A.O. Scott, New York Times
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 52%
(25 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: pot smokers, dope dingers and freethinkers (but really those who can buy into what seems like a purely hedonistic venture and pull out some meaning)
(Not): squares and their like, rules, man (but really those who don't think merely showing a way of life is commentary enough)
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Us ($71.1) NEW
Jordan Peele's next horror fest
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Captain Marvel ($34.3 / $321)
Lucky 21?
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Wonder Park ($8.8 / $29)
Girl's imagination powers amusement park
29% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Five Feet Apart ($8.5 / $26)
Dying (or are they?) teens fall in love
53% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) How To Train Your Dr... ($6.5 / $146)
Culmination (maybe) of the well liked series
91% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Tyler Perry's A Madea... ($4.4 / $ 66)
Madea makes one last(?) appearance
13% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) No Manches Frida 2 ($1.2 / $7)
Sequel to Spanish language comedy
N/A - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Gloria Bell ($1.7 / $2)
Julianne Moore, as Gloria, lives her life
94% - Trailer - Showtimes
9) The Lego Movie 2: The S... ($1.2 / $103)
Pretty self explanatory
86% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Alita: Battle Angel ($1.1 / $84)
Future set sci-fi, cyborg girl turns weapon
60% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
SHAZAM!
We've said it before, but this is basically BIG meets a superhero movie. Or the "what superpower would you have? and what would you do?" game come to life - except you get all of them and you're like 15. Reviews are really positive so far, noting how much fun it's having.
PET SEMATARY
Yeah, it's a remake (based on the Stephen King novel), but it's 30 years after the first cinematic attempt - just enough time for you to have forgot or never have known what bad happens when you bury dead shit in a cemetery that brings things back to life. Has a high early RT score, although important note is that actual reviews are more 🙂than 😃.
THE BEST OF ENEMIES
Based on a true story about the head of a local KKK chapter (Sam Rockwell) and civil rights activist (Taraji P. Henson), who is trying to get her child the best education in shitty circumstances. They co-chair a committee on desegregation and end up friends.
LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
HIGH LIFE
This one will be hard to explain fully. From French director Claire Denis who has Robert Pattinson and his baby daughter on a spaceship headed to a black hole after everyone else on the ship disappeared. Expect it to be confusing and weird - but the good kind of both. Reviews note the challenge of it, but vast majority came away impressed.
JOHN WICK:
CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM
May 17, 2019
Second trailer. Wick gets a bounty on his head. Guns will be shot. Lots of them. Halle Berry joins too.
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THE LAST BLACK MAN
IN SAN FRANCISCO
June 14, 2019
Young man trying to reclaim the Victorian house in SF that his grandfather built while dealing the shifting city. Showed at Sundance and received best director award and has some pretty nice reviews.
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DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD
August 2, 2019
Dora goes to high school. But then back to the jungle cuz duh. Also, wasn't she like 10 in the cartoon??
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THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2
August 16, 2019
Full trailer. Pigs and birds becomes "friends" so they can take on a new (ice shooting) enemy.
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