"Hellboy" is our "Missing Link" to that "Little" "After" party.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"So you're breaking up with me
because I'm too.... blonde?!"
Two limited releases we didn't feature, but still want to note:
Teen Spirit - Elle Fanning is a shy European kid who belts alotta known jams (e.g. Robyn, Carly Rae Jepsen) in a singing comp not unlike American Idol. She can sing well, it brings drama. Reviews are split, but more pos than neg.
Her Smell - Elisabeth Moss as a chaotic punk god who's bullshit catches up to her. This one is "certified fresh" at 85% on RT.
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
LITTLE
AKA
"way your accomplishments feel after hearing this movie was produced by a 14 year old"
PG-13 / 1 hr 49 mins
Comedy / Universal
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Story goes that Marsai Martan (above right) pitched the idea for this one on the set of Black-ish (on which she also stars) and ultimately came to exec produce the movie - which apparently at the time made her the youngest person ever to do so (at 14). Yeah, that sinking feeling that you've done nothing in your life? We feel it too.
But don't fret, you can bury your self loathing in Martin's story which is essentially a reverse BIG. Yup, another reference to the Tom Hanks switcheroo (after Shazam! last week). Although, this one is straight broad comedy, with Issa Rae playing assistant to boss Regina Hall / Martin who gets her life lessons learned after she becomes overwhelmed as an adult and turns nasty. Rae blew up with Insecure on HBO and this is her first time as a lead in a movie, so it'd be notable for that alone (without Martan's part).
It's produced by the same guy who did Girls Trip, Night School so expect it to have that kinda feel.
REVIEWS
Split, but negatives mostly in the "it could've been better, so why wasn't it?" vein.
"If the story is a mess, the performers... save the day and the protect the investment." - A.O. Scott, The New York Times
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 52%
(31 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you like the actors, and you don't mind sameness or a few on the nose jokes
(Not): if you require freshness in content, not just the talent involved
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
HELLBOY
AKA
"the moniker bequeathed to human males on the second celebration of their birth"
R / 2 hrs
Action-Fantasy-Comic Book / Lionsgate
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Hey. I'm Hellboy. Have we met before? Oh, the name, yeeeaaah, I know, rough one eh? Doesn't garner me many friends. Neither do my massive horns, so I keeps em like a swimmer does their body hair, tight.
I guess I have a lot of "fans," people who like to see me use my weighty demon fist to mash my fellow hell born brethren into bloody pulps while I make darkly comedic quips. I use to only have comic books written about me. Which are fun and all, but let's be honest, you 'Mericans ain't too into "the readins." Luckily, one of my fans happened to be director Guillermo Del Toro who made two movies about me, you may remember them - but probably not, they're absolutely fucking ancient now (2004/8). Really boosted my notoriety though. I sent Guillermo a severed succubus head as a thank you, but as I say it now, I realized he never sent a note back. Huh. Anyway, those were crazy good times.
But you know how it is, gotta keep it fresh. So here I am, straight Eminem-en my way to theaters. Sure, some of you know all about my rough childhood bein snatched from hell and raised amongst y'all, having the weight of humanity on my shoulders - which is still less than this fucking fist. Christ is it heavy. And speaking of Mr. Holy Trinity himself, I've yet to meet the guy (he don't make too many trips down below), but I have met Mr. Ron Perlman and Mr. David Harbour (looove him in Stranger Things) - great guys. They "played/play me," but little secret? Still me. And finally this time I can be the real me - goddamn studio locked us down to PG-13 first two times. I mean, how the hell am I gonna show off my bludgeoning skillz in a movie where people who've barely hit puberty are allowed to watch?
Anyway, I should be going, my dad (Ian McShane) said something about an evil sorceresses wanting to end the world? Whatever. But hey, it was nice meetin' you again. See you soon (ya know, unless I lay a big firey hell turd at the box office).
REVIEWS
Oh boy. Remember that turd Hellboy mentioned?
"Violence and vulgarity replace the humor and poetry of Guillermo del Toro's superhero films." - Rafer Guzman, Newsday
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 9%
(43 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: only the most dedicated fans who want to watch their beloved world burn
(Not): turned off by the idea of an "epic demon fist?" stay away. Plus anyone who enjoyed the first to movies (it'll just make you mad)
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
MISSING LINK
AKA
"the next Laika film to be nominated for an Academy Award it won't win"
PG / 1 hr 35 mins
Comedy-Animation-Family / Annapurna
WHAT'S THE DEAL
The "you're damn right we're not Disney" animated studio Laika is back with another one. Laika? Yeah, the crew that did Coraline, ParaNorman, The Boxtrolls & Kubo and the Two Strings. Oh yeeeeah, the kinda weird, but always well reviewed stop motion ones. Yup.
Rad, so what's this one about? Well, instead of kids dealin with all around creepiness or evil, they're going more bright and adventure"y" where a couple of adults (Hugh Jackman and Zoe Saldana) discover Mr. Link (Zach Galifianakis) the missing well, you know, between humans and...? Anyway, Link is basically a yeti, a bigfoot, a big gentle fellow, but he's lonely. So the three set off on a trip to find more like him - with compasses pointed towards the mythical and totally not real (or is it?) Shangri La.
Laika has a tendency to push it visually as well as in story - i.e. they have yet to do a sequel and most of their stories are original.
FUN: short video about Laika's process. It's mostly a marketing piece, but still cool.
REVIEWS
It's a good one. They talk about the really pretty visuals and the tone that's less pop culture obsessed than many animated movies.
"It is blessedly devoid of the manic, ADD pace of many animated movies, with a winning trio of characters." - G. Allen Johnson, San Francisco Chronicle
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
(45 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: those who want some originalness in their family viewing
(Not): if you need a knowing wink to some pop culture thing every 2 mins
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
AFTER
AKA
"the most uncomfortable movie to see with your 13 year old child" (see: rating below)
PG-13 / 2 hrs
Drama-Romance-Young Adult / Aviron
WHAT'S THE DEAL
So we compared this one to Fifty Shades of Grey last week. "Yeah, and didn't you also say it deal with teenagers?" you ask incredulously. Da fuq, right? But stay with us. See, both started as books written by amateur authors who self published on some niche of the internet (FSoG - fan fic website / After - WattPad). Both took "characters" they loved and slotted them into their fantasies, er, we mean stories (FSoG - Twilight leads / After - Harry Styles from 1D). Both have chaste women who meet brooding "dangerous" (kinda dickish?) men who lead them into some sexual activity they've never experienced before (FSoG - BDSM / After - not being a virgin). Both blew up into "things," although FSG became way (waaaay) bigger. Lesson is that BDSM > first time sex? *shrug*
So yeah, original it ain't, and probably (definitely) isn't good. But what's "good" and what you "want" are often two different things; so if you're dying for that lusty teen angst feeling, by all means.
REVIEWS
None yet, but we laid out our expectations above.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: people who want a less cheeky, less fun, and way more earnest version of Cruel Intentions
(Not): for adults who'll feel weird sitting in a room with a bunch of high schoolers watching a movie about someone losing their virginity
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Shazam! ($53.5) NEW
BIG crossed with Superman
91% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Pet Sematary ($24.5) NEW
Stephen King book gets a movie redo
59% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Dumbo ($18.2 / $76)
Live action (cept the big eared little guy)
47% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Us ($13.8 / $152)
Jordan Peele's next horror fest
94% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Captain Marvel ($12.4 / $374)
Lucky 21?
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) The Best of Enemies ($4.4) NEW
Civil rights activist / KKK head = friends?
52% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Five Feet Apart ($3.6 / $41)
Dying (or are they?) teens fall in love
55% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Unplanned ($3.3 / $13)
Religious anti-abortion (rights) story
50% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Wonder Park ($2.2 / $42)
Girl's imagination powers amusement park
29% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) How To Train Your Dr... ($2 / $157)
Culmination (maybe) of the well liked series
91% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA
Creepy horror time again. From Latin American folklore where "the weeping woman," who killed her children only to regret it, is cursed to find their spirits, but tries to find children to replace them. Stars Linda Cardellini (Daddy's Home, Freaks & Geeks) and produced by James Wan (Saw, The Conjuring). It's appaaaarently in The Conjuring universe.
BREAKTHROUGH
Faith based movie about a family supporting their kid who is in a coma after falling into ice water. Stars Chrissy Metz (Kate from This is Us) and some other notables.
DISNEYNATURE'S PENGUINS
More penguins you ask? Yeah, but it's penguin Steve Disney responds.
STUBER
July 12, 2019
Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick) is an Uber driver, again, named Stu (yeah, as in St(u)ber - this joke kind of typifies the trailer). He picks up Dave "there's something in my eye" Bautista (Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy), a cop who doesn't have a car for some reason... Typical action comedy hijinks ensue.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook
ANNA
June 21, 2019
Next one from Luc Besson, but you may not know that from watching the trailer, which doesn't show his name, only his movies. Odd for a big name director, right? Well, it's likely because he's been accused, but not charged, with rape as well other uninvited sexual aggression. For what it's worth, the accusations came out after filming was started (as far as we know).
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook
THE ADDAMS FAMILY
October 18, 2019
Teaser. Full on mainstream animated version of the macabre family. Big named voice cast (Charlize Theron, Oscar Isaac, Chloë Grace Moritz), but seems pretty standard looking, unfortunately.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook
THE LION KING
October 18, 2019
Full trailer. We're not crying, you're crying. Rawr.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook
MY SPY
TBD
Oh hey Dave Bautista, you're back... already? K. Oh, you're already bored of being a cracked out cop? K. You wanna be a CIA agent paired with a beyond precocious 9 year old? K. Are you following the exact acting career of The Rock? K. Are you gonna punch us directly in the face? K.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
N/A
Copyright © *|CURRENT_YEAR|* What's In Theaters, All rights reserved.
Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.
*|IF:REWARDS|* *|HTML:REWARDS|* *|END:IF|*