56 years in the making.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"I don't want his cigarettes.
And I don't was his, or his, or his or his or his or his or his or his, or even yours!
Do you understand that?
I want MY cigarettes!"
Captain Marvel just passed $400 million at the domestic box office. That's a ton of money and makes it the years biggest movie (so far).
Avengers: Endgame could make $300 million on its opening weekend (and become the biggest opening of all time).
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
AVENGERS:
ENDGAME
AKA
"the almost, but not quite tippy top of the sisyphean mountain that is Marvel movies"
PG-13 / 3 hrs 1 mins
Action-Superhero / Marvel-Disney
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Let's start with that run time. Yes, it is actually three hours long. Yes, we fully expect someone to drink way too much Sprite and go full Tycho Brahe during that shit.
So what happens in the span of the world's fastest marathon plus 59 minutes? Uuuuuhhh.
Dunno.
Now, to be fair, the cast hadn't even seen the movie until the premiere two days ago. What we do know is that it's the end of sorts, which will inevitably bring another beginning (mostly because Spider-man: Far From Home already has a trailer). And speaking of people who should be in the credited cast of Endgame, but aren't. Like, where are they? Well, SPOILER ALERT...
....they're dust of course. But, are they really? Nah. While we can't say for certain Spider-man, Black Panther, Peter Quill (ahem, Star-Lord) Groot etc. will return. We're about as sure of that fact as we are about a Ruffles chip being the inspiration for Thanos's chin. While resurrections are interesting (sup Jesus), you're probably wondering if major characters die die. Uuuuhhh.
Dunno that either.
However, Chris Evans sure seemed to intimate that he will be ending his reign as the American flag's muse . *shrug*
All that said, none of this will help convince you one way or another to see this film, this we know. You probably made your decision say, 10 movies ago (this is #22). So go, enjoy yourself. Just remember to expel any and all liquids (or solids) before you sit down for this marvel-ous monstrosity of creativity and capitalism.
REVIEWS
How much of a bummer if they were bad? Luckily (mostly for Disney's stock price), they're really good. In fact, it's tied with Black Panther for the highest RT out of all Marvel movies.
Critics saying that, even with the run time, it doesn't overstay, pays a lot of fanservice/wraps up loose ends and is still fun and funny. So pretty much does all of the things.
"I have to admit, in all its surreal grandiosity, in all its delirious absurdity, there is a huge sugar rush of excitement to this mighty finale, finally interchanging with euphoric emotion and allowing us to say poignant farewells" - Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 97%
(184 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: anyone with a pulse? (well, at least that's how many will probably have to see it to make back the budget+marketing)
(Not): if you still hear the word "Avengers" and go, "Suspenders? No, my pants are fine." But just go get yourself a hearing aid, then you're good.
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) The Curse of La Llorona ($26.3) NEW
Ghost mother tries to steal children
32% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Shazam! ($16.5 / $120)
BIG crossed with Superman
90% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Breakthrough ($11.3 / $15) NEW
Kid comes back from coma / faith based
64% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Captain Marvel ($9.1 / $400)
Lucky 21?
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Little ($8.3 / $29)
Body switching comedy
45% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Dumbo ($6.6 / $101)
Live action (cept the big eared little guy)
47% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Pet Sematary ($4.9 / $50)
Stephen King book gets a movie redo
58% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Us ($4.2 / $170)
Jordan Peele's next horror fest
94% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Missing Link ($4.2 / $13)
Next one from stop motion studio Laika
89% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Hellboy ($4 / $20)
Red guy redo
14% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
LONG SHOT
Charlize Theron is Seth Rogen's former babysitter and now his boss - as candidate for President. They start a thing. Studio screened the movie really early for critics and (most of) the reviewers have been really quite into it. Seems if you like their chemistry it's fun.
UGLY DOLLS
Trolls: we're gonna make the most overtly bright and commercial movie with songs, star actors, and a so earnest it's painful message to appeal to the masses and sell more product.
Ugly Dolls: hold my beer.
EL CHICANO
Gangs are taking over so the neighborhood needs a vigilante (does it?). Kind of a cross between John Wick and Batman with a nearly full hispanic cast.
THE INTRUDER
Dennis Quaid goes full bonkers after he sells his house to a young couple. In short, it's a home invasion movie.
GODZILLA:
KING OF THE MONSTERS
May 31, 2019
Final trailer. Godzilla meets up with Mothra (yup, a big moth), Rodan (a huge Pteranodon) & King Ghidorah (three headed ...dragon?) Note: not directed by Gareth Edwards who did first.
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CHILD'S PLAY
June 21, 2019
Full trailer. Straight remake of the creepy killer doll - Aubrey Plaza (Parks and Rec) plays the mom. Just announced that Mark Hamill (aka Luke Skywalker) is doing the voice of Chucky.
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HOBBS & SHAW
August 2, 2019
Full trailer. Warning: it's 3:30 (about a minute longer than normal) and goes full monty. A Fast and Furious spinoff where The Rock and Jason Statham take on a superhuman Idris Elba. It's straight up a superhero movie.
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GEMINI MAN
December 20, 2019
Will Smith battles... younger Will Smith (see above). Why? We don't know yet. Directed by Ang Lee and co-written by David Benioff, co-creator of Games of Thrones. Even will all that talent, it still looks... off.
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