You're ugly, and that's a good thing. 😀

Latham Arneson

May 01, 2019

GUESS THE QUOTE
"Put the gun down.
And get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
And some Skittles."

So uh, how 'bout them Avengers? Thoughts?

Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

LONG SHOT

AKA
"that time you asked your boss for a four day work week, cuz "it worked in New Zealand!""

R / 1 hr 55 mins

Comedy-Romantic Comedy / Lionsgate

WHAT'S THE DEAL

That guy (Seth Rogen), that girl (Charlize Theron), are gonna smoosh faces. Nuh uh, could never happen you say? Seems too implausible you say?

Cool, you just watched a talking raccoon fight a purple egg headed alien trying to wipe out half the universe's living creatures using colored sparkly rocks, and you (and the rest of the damn world) loved it. So like, ya know, chill.

Sure, it it's unlikely Rogen would age into a journalist and happen upon his childhood babysitter, Theron, who is now not only smart, funny and gorgeous, she happens to be running for President. It's even more inconceivable she'd hire Rogen as a speech writer and they'd have crazy good chemistry and Theron would risk her chance to rule the free world over some weed smoking, ball joke making, bearded goofball.

Maybe most unlikely? Apparently it's really quite good, and what's more, it's not purely a male fantasy come true (ok, maybe a bit), apparently it has depth. Huh. And here we thought The Hulk making tacos would be the weirdest thing we saw all month.

REVIEWS

They showed it to reviewers early and they mostly bought in pretty hard. Biggest note is how, even if unbelievable, the chemistry between the leads works well.

"Rogen's off-kilter charm and jocularity pair well with Theron's elegance and wit." - Yolando Machado, The Wrap

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 87%
(53 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: all those still crushin' on that babe who put you to sleep all those years ago / people who've grown up with Rogen comedies and had their sensibilities grow too

(Not): haters who still can't accept the pairing

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

UGLYDOLLS

AKA
"the nickname neither of your (clearly humorless) parents found funny"

PG / 1 hr 30 mins

Comedy-Musical-Family-Animated / STX

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In direction opposition to our discussion above about implausibility, it's entirely unsurprising that toys that started as a sweet love story between a long distance couple, has now become a mega-commercial movie endeavor that, while presenting a positive message of loving yourself as you are, still looks to be more focused on pushing song streams and further sales of the previously upstart brand.

Now, is this wrong? Of course not. Entertaining five year olds is hard work, and sometimes mommy and daddy could use a nap (edit: mommy and daddy could always use a nap). It's just that you hope for little more than a knockoff of the recent Trolls movie. But your copy of Trolls is at home, and UglyDolls is in theaters, and sometimes you wanna get out the damn house. And sure, the story may be aped slightly (quite a bit) from Toy Story in main character Moxy's (Kelly Clarkson) undying desire to bring joy to some child. But it can't hurt to watch her belt some self support songs as the evil "perfect" Lou (Nick Jonas) tries to keep Moxy and her crew of Ugly friends away from their kid hugging destinies. ...Can it?

REVIEWS

Not too many reviews yet, but not many good ones either.

"Every aspect of this computer-animated movie directed by Kelly Asbury seems equally overdetermined and tossed-off, as if it were a caffeinated weekend project for everyone involved." - Glenn Kenny, NY Times

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 46%
(13 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: lovers of positive messages, no matter how much sugar they're covered in

(Not): people who respond to comments like "nice day, isn't it?" with a sneer

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

THE INTRUDER

AKA
"playful name given to that cockroach you have as your roommate to make it seem slightly less fucking awful"

PG-13 / 1 hr 42 mins

Thriller / Sony (Screen Gems)

WHAT'S THE DEAL

It's a home invasion movie, which, by definition, are self explanatory. So there's not too much to deliberate on here. It's all in the hook and the execution.

The hook, as it were, here is the normally genial Dennis Quaid as seemingly polite homeowner who may have signed the papers to sell his house to a way too perfect couple, Michael Ealy (Barbershop, Think Like a Man) and Meagan Good (also Think Like a Man), but sure as hell ain't goin' nowhere. Nope. In fact, he's not just going to terrorize the nice couple, he's going to lust after Good because his own wife killed herself (suuuuure she did).

As for the execution, well, reviews aren't out yet, but from the looks of it, it certainly is a professionally made "Hollywood movie" where Dennis Quaid turns it up to 11 in the creepy old white guy territory, so if that sounds enticing...?

REVIEWS

None yet, but don't expect much. This is isn't the most critic happy genre, but it's evergreen for fans who love to watch it happen on screen, and not in their homes

Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: people who love to explain how they would handled that shit in the first 30 mins, forgetting they'd have no movie to watch if it was actually resolved that way

(Not): for people who already got their home invasion fill with Us

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

EL CHICANO

AKA
"the simplest confusing words for much of white America"

R / 1 hr 47 mins

Action-Superhero(ish) / Briarcliff

WHAT'S THE DEAL

The story inside this film, a cop taking law into his own hands by taking over the mantle of "El Chicano" to fight drug gangs and avenge his brothers death, is fairly straightforward. The story around this film, however, not quite as much.

It starts with the fact that it has a nearly all Hispanic cast, which is (very) rare for films produced in the US. Even more confusing since, as The NY Times noted, "Hispanics make up more than 18 percent of the population, and, according to the Motion Picture Association of America, are the most avid moviegoers of any ethnic group, yet held just 5 percent of movie roles in 2017."

Our "heros" are co-writer/director Ben Hernandez Bray and co-writer Jay Carnahan who worked hard to get the film produced. But even with Carnahan involved, who directed The Grey and A-Team, and Bray, who has worked on hundreds of films as stunt coordinator, they were rebuffed by our "evil villain," the Hollywood system. So, they got money from where else... Canadian oil investors? And filmed mostly in Canada, as a stand in for East LA (movie magic baby).

Now, whether either the film or the story of the film has a happy ending, we don't know, but at least the story is being told.

NOTE: technically this isn't a full nationwide release, only 600 theaters vs the traditional 2,000+ (reasoning: targeted campaign to hispanic audiences)

REVIEWS

Only two so far, one good, one bad. But if you're into gritty violent revenge movies, don't think you'll go that wrong.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(2 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: if you've been waiting for a mostly Latinx cast /

(Not): for those who think revenge is best served never

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) Avengers: Endgame ($357) NEW
The end before the new beginning
96% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

2) Captain Marvel ($8.3 / $414)
Lucky 21?
78% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

3) The Curse of La Llorona ($8 / $42)
Ghost mother tries to steal children
31% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

4) Breakthrough ($6.8 / $27)
Kid comes back from coma / faith based
65% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

5) Shazam! ($5.6 / $131)
BIG crossed with Superman
90% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

6) Dumbo ($3.5 / $107)
Live action (cept the big eared little guy)
46% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

7) Little ($3.5 / $36)
Body switching comedy
46% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

8) Pet Sematary ($1.3 / $53)
Stephen King book gets a movie redo
58% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

9) Us ($1.2 / $173)
Jordan Peele's next horror fest
94% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

10) Disneynature Penguins ($1.1 / $6)
Adorable anthropomorphising to the max
91% RT -  Trailer - Showtimes

DETECTIVE PIKACHU

Ryan Reynolds voices Pikachu and he's almost like a PG Deadpool in his delivery - aka Ryan Reynolds being Ryan Reynolds. Did we mention Ryan Reynolds is in this?

The Trailer

THE HUSTLE

Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson do the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels remake thing (as in the Steve Martin & Michael Caine movie), with a feminist twist.

The Trailer

POMS

Women at a retirement community decide to start a cheerleading group. Think in the vein of recent Book Club (also starring Diane Keaton) except with a bit of moroseness in the story (read: death).

The Trailer

LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
THE BIGGEST LITTLE FARM

Documentary about an idealistic couple from Los Angeles that moves outside the city to start a farm. May be a bit "privileged porn" (is that a thing? is now), but at 100% on RT (albeit 7 reviews) and apparently a cool story and informative. Also some dope cinematography.

The Trailer

LATE NIGHT
June 7, 2019

Second trailer. Written by and starring Mindy Kaling - she joins as the first woman (+ of color) on the all male writing staff of a late night show hosted by Emma Thompson.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

MEN IN BLACK:
INTERNATIONAL
June 14, 2019

Second trailer. Better than the first. Thor: Ragnarok re-pairing with Tessa Thompson joining Chris Hemsworth as new agents and directed by Gary F. Gray (Straight Outta Compton).

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

21 BRIDGES
July 12, 2019

Chadwick Boseman (aka T'Challa aka Black Panther) shuts down NYC to find cop killers.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
November 8, 2019

I mean.... *hangs head* At least Jim Carrey is in it? /shrug

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
Apple Google Outlook

What's In Theaters +

Discussion about this post