Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, and hot dog buns come in packages of eight?
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Are you too good for your home?!
Answer me!!"
Some good trailers this week, specifically Queen and Slim and The Good Liar. Also two limited releases this week that we didn't feature, but are still noteworthy. First a documentary on the first all female crew to race the Whitbread Round the World - a sailing race um, around the word. Reviews are great and the trailer is too.
The other is a very production / costume heavy take on the Hamlet character Ophelia. It's called... Ophelia. Stars some knowns, most notably Daisy Ridley (as well as Naomi Watts & Clive Owen) who still has yet to have a real breakout beyond Star Wars (but then again, when has she had the time). Reviews aren't awful, just not great. Still work a look if that's really your thing.
Gettin cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
ANNABELLE
COMES HOME
AKA
"can she leave yet?"
R / 1 hr 40 mins
Horror / Warner Bros. (New Line)
WHAT'S THE DEAL
Children. Clowns. Dolls.
All things that can make people coo, smile and/or laugh. Also things that can make people straight up pee themselves (do they clean the seats at theaters? hm). Maybe it's that dichotomy that makes them effective as well as evergreen horror movie territory. Whatever it is, it works, because Annabelle Comes Home is the third movie to bear the creepy mini mannequin's name and one of two evil toy movies to come out in as many weeks. But whereas Chucky was lone in his terrorizing, Annabelle comes from The Conjuring universe (technically this is the seventh film); a universe so stacked with malevolent stuff, that it's basically Amazon.com for creepy shit. And guess who is a "beacon" for all that creepy shit... Nooo, not Jeff Bezos (or is he?).
But luckily for residents of this world, there are The Warrens (Vera Farmiga / Patrick Wilson), stars of the original The Conjuring, quellers of demons and lovers of sideburns + ruffles, to keep Annabelle and her pals in check. Unluckily for their daughter, beyond a quick cameo to kiss her goodbye, they ain't home during the night we watch take place. She's stuck with a babysitter and babysitter's friend who conveniently sets Annabelle loose (empathy points --> her dad just died), whiiiich as you might guess, unlocks all the other bad things within the Warren household (man, haven't these people watched Doomsday Preppers? Oh right, this movie is set in the eighties. Also, oh right, that show is insane). So come for the creepy doll and jump scares, stay for the evil wedding dress that's looking for a new host because weddings be stressful (actual reason it's evil - for real)?
NOTE: the director (his first time) wrote all three Annabelle movies, The Nun (also a Conjuring movie) and both recent/forthcoming IT movies.
REVIEWS
It doesn't seem to be the best horror movie, but also not the worst. And if you're a fan of The Conjuring movies, seems like you might be satisfied.
"True, the haunted objects are silly at times, but unlike The Nun, Annabelle Comes Home is only funny when it's supposed to be. And it's enjoyable because of its clockwork efficiency, not in spite of it." - Katie Rife, AV Club
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 65%
(79 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you see weird dolls and say "ooh, that's creepy" and then go directly to pick them up
(Not): you saw the creepy clown doll scene from the original Poltergeist and now have an actual medical condition
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YESTERDAY
AKA
"a confusing movie to ask your friends to go see:
you: 'you wanna see yesterday tomorrow?'
your friend: '.......?' "
PG-13 / 1 hr 52 mins
Romantic Comedy-Fantasy / Universal
WHAT'S THE DEAL
You know what you get to do when you've directed and/or written a bunch of successful movies? Besides make a ton of money of course. You get to make the movies out of the silly shit you come up with when you're high. Example: this movie.
Stoner A: What if, what if...
Stoner B: Yeah?
Stoner A: What if... *eats a handful of Cheetos* What if you were suddenly the only one who knew who The Beatles were?
Stoner B: Oh man, that'd be craaaazy.
Stoner A: Dude. Dude. Dude.. Um, dude. Do you think you could remember all their songs and get like famous dude?
Stoner B: I don't know man. I'd have to learn how to play guitar. And find my hands, cuz I think they ran away.
Stoner A: *staring at wall* Huh?
Stoner B: Haha, nope, I was just sitting on them.
Except it's not you and your buddy talking stoned, it's Danny Boyle, director of a few things: 127 Hours, Trainspotting, Steve Jobs, Slumdog Millionaire, 28 Days Later and Richard Curtis, writer of: Love Actually, Bridget Jones's Diary, Notting Hill, and Four Weddings and Funeral.
So yeah, they have some credibility. On which they expend for this premise. Which, if you watch the trailer, looks quite cute and serves the ultimate goal of being a cheeky little romantic story that'll probably make you feel good about life and snuggle with your partner - smoking or non.
NOTE: stars a newcomer Himesh Patel in his first movie (heck of a get) as the musician and only rememberer of the fab four, as well as Lily James (Baby Driver, Darkest Hour) as his pining friend and biggest supporter. Also features Ed Sheeran and Kate McKinnon when it dips into the music industry stuff.
REVIEWS
Seems it fits right in that spot you want it to, without doing a ton more (like investigating if the Beatles were only popular due to place and time). Stars are apparently easy to like and charming as you might hope.
"The specter of unrealized potential lingers over the film. But directed with Boyle's strong hand and visual flair, the result is an engaging charmer." Brent McKnight, Seattle Times
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 67%
(85 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you watch (or want to watch) Love Actually every Christmas. And sometimes when you're hungover, or a random Tuesday
(Not): you're more of a Sympathy for the Devil kinda person
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Toy Story 4 ($120.9) NEW
Toys get new member / toys get existential
98% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Child's Play ($14.1) NEW
Reboot / but AI gone crazy vs murder
62% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Aladdin ($13.2 / $289)
Live action remake with Will Smith as JG
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Men in Black: Internat... ($10.7 / $53)
Fourquel without Tommy or Will
24% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Secret Life of Pets 2 ($10.3 / $118)
Anthropomorphized happy fun times
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Rocketman ($5.6 / $77)
Elton John biopic backed by singer himself
89% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) John Wick: Chapter 3... ($4.1 / $156)
Keanu is back as the puppy loving assassin
89% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Godzilla: King of... ($3.9 / $103)
Subtle story about the power of silence
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Anna ($3.6) NEW
Luc Besson assassin flick
28% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Dark Phoenix ($3.5 / $60)
Last X-Men movie in its current iteration
23% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
SPIDER-MAN:
FAR FROM HOME
This is technically the final movie in "Phase 3" of the Marvel movies.
REMINDER: this movie (and this trailer) spoils a big part of Avengers: Endgame so watch both with that in mind.
MIDSOMMAR
The next unsettling experience from Ari Aster who directed last year's excellent(ly horrifying) Hereditary. Reviews have been out for a while and they are pretty fantastic.
THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2
August 14, 2019
Final trailer. More birds will be flung.
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KILLERMAN
August 30, 2019
Liam Hemsworth plays a money launder who gets amnesia amidst a chaotic deal gone wrong.
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THE CURRENT WAR
October 4, 2019
Intense drama about... electricity? Yup. Stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Shannon & Nicholas Hoult as Edison, Westinghouse and Tesla respectively as they battle to control power, literally. This one has been caught in delays due to the Weinstein bullshit.
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THE GOOD LIAR
November 15, 2019
This looks like so much fun. Ian McKellen plays a con-man trying to work Helen Mirren out of some cash, but things get complicated. Directed by writer of Gods and Monsters and writer of Mr. Holmes (both starring McKellen).
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QUEEN & SLIM
November 27, 2019
This one will probably get some attention. Written by Lena Waithe (created the The Chi, acts on Master of None), a black couple is on a date when they're pulled over by a white cop. Things go south and the cop is shot by the man, Daniel Kaluuya, and the couple go on the run turning into a sort of Bonnie and Clyde.
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TROLLS
WORLD TOUR
April 17, 2020
Apparently there are different tribes of singing trolls, each separated by genre? Well, the rock n roll troll is kind of a jerk and wants to end the others.
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