Feel like we're going in circles here.

Jul 17, 2019

Documentaries focusing on fading rock n' roll stars and the history they made seem to be comin fast and heavy (meaning there's more than one this year).

Another this week, that if you're keen, you might want to pay attention to. This week's is David Crosby: Remember My name. Notable not only for the subject, but also because Cameron Crowe is involved. Reviews (albeit limited) are up there.

Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

THE LION KING

AKA
"Movie voted most likely to hold hands at
in Sixth Graders Digest's '1994 Year End Guide' "

PG / 1 hr 50 mins

Family-Drama-Comedy-Animated(?) / Disney

WHAT'S THE DEAL

Know that scene in The Lion King where young Simba (aka JTT) steps into his pa's paw print and his teeny pads are dwarfed? Yeah, that's real meta...phorical for what we have here.

Because the OG Lion King is pretty much the peak of Disney's "renaissance" that started with The Little Mermaid in 1989 (and included The Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin). Of all those now classics, The Lion King made the most money at the box office, sold the most home video copies (of any movie ever - hell, it's #2 on the Laserdisc charts 🤔) and, we don't have data to back this up, but has got to be the movie most often cited on Tinder profiles of 20 / 30 somethings. It probably would've won an Oscar for best animated feature too, buuuut that didn't exist yet. So yeah, this remake has a lot to live up to.

And Disney clearly spent that cash money trying to make this live(?) action take something special. They hired Jon Favreau who directed 2016's very well received (by fans and critics) The Jungle Book, as well as the first Iron Man. They got Donald Glover to play adult Simba, Beyoncé to kick his ass as adult Nala. Timon and Pumbaa are of course back to lend some culturally relevant jokes from Seth Rogen and Eichner. They even got Mufasa back to do Mufasa. Cuz let's be real, there is no Mufasa without the voice of Darth Vader, er, James Earl Jones. And the animation is apparently good enough that per The NY Times, it may "elicit a gasp of amazement."

But these are all "things and stuff," the reason people like, nay, love The Lion King is because it made them cry while making them laugh, along with lettin them jam to some pretty sweet Elton John tunes. And that emotion? It can't be bought, and apparently, it wasn't here (see below). Sad face.

Which is a bummer, but the nice thing about these remakes is that the originals still exist, just as they were (unless you're an original trilogy Star Wars movie). So don't worry, no matter how many times "Scar" kills the king, you can always hit rewind.

Question: think they'll try and slip the word "sex" in again when Simba goes full flop mode?

REVIEWS

Seems like in trying to be a nearly exact copy (cat?), it missed transferring the soul of the movie. But it's still The Lion King and that's possibly enough? Oooor not because you'll constantly be thinking about how it's a money grab? Up to you!

"It's as if every creative decision were subordinate to the film's misguided insistence on realism, on keeping the mannerisms and movements of these magically intelligent creatures "believable." - A.A. Dowd, AV Club

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 58%
(172 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you own the VHS, the DVD, the Blu-Ray AND the Laserdisc

(Not): you just want to see that opening scene and feel that bass drop when the title hits, but don't wanna pay $16 for it (hint: buy a ticket for another movie playing later and just watch that scene from the hallway)

SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS

ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) Spider-Man: Far... ($45.4 / $275 )
New continent, same troubles
90% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

2) Toy Story 4 ($20.9 / $347)
Toys get new member / toys get existential
98% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

3) Crawl ($12) NEW
Hurricane + alligators + trapped = bad time
85% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

4) Stuber ($8.2) NEW
Uber ride gone crazy
43% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

5) Yesterday ($6.7 / $48)
The Beatles disappear, except to one guy
62% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

6) Aladdin ($6.2 / $332)
Live action remake with Will Smith as JG
57% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

7) Annabelle Comes Home ($5.6 / $61)
The creepy doll is still causing trouble
66% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

8) Midsommar ($3.7 / $19)
Daylight horror from Hereditary director
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

9) The Secret Life of Pets 2 ($3.2 / $147)
Anthropomorphized happy fun times
58% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

10) Men in Black: Internat... ($2.2 / $76)
Fourquel without Tommy or Will
22% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

ONCE UPON A TIME
IN HOLLYWOOD

Quentin Tarantino gets another shot at some putting some feet on celluloid - that and telling a tale set in tinseltown in 1969 that involves a fading actor and his stunt double (see above), Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie) and somehow Marilyn... CHARLES Manson.

The Trailer

THE KITCHEN
August 9, 2019

Final trailer. Melissa McCarthy, Elizabeth Moss, and Tiffany Hadish are wives who takeover their husband's role in the mob after they go to jail. Based on a comic book.

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GOOD BOYS
September 27, 2019

Second red band trailer. Think middle school Superbad. Mainly cuz it's produced by Seth Rogen.

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PLAYING WITH FIRE
November 8, 2019

Not sure who to feel worse for here, us, the studio or the actors. Let's go with all of the above. Although the director did also helm The Rock's similar The Game Plan, and he's doing just fine (The Rock, not the director, he had to make this movie).

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HUSTLERS
September 13, 2019

Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu (Crazy Rich Asians) are strippers who lead a crew to fleece some rich dudes. Apparently based on a New York Mag article about a roughly similar story.

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THE KING'S MAN
February 14, 2020

Teaser. A prequel to the Kingsman movie set around World War I, with Ralph Fiennes sitting in as the Colin Firth sage like teacher.

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What's In Theaters +

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