GUESS THE QUOTE
"We train young men to drop fire on people,
but their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck'
on their aeroplanes because it's obscene!"
So apparently The Matrix 4 is going to be a thing.
There is another release this weekend we're not covering. It's called Overcomer and it's another in the no longer a trend, but a solidified genre of "Christian Cinema". It's technically not a wide release, but more than that it's the kind of movie that one will need very little information either way to decide if they want to go.
Lastly, Netflix has a movie, Marriage Story, which while not getting a theatrical release just had a fun trailer(s) release that thought was worth noting; there are two trailers, one from her side and one from his side. It's from Noah Baumbach and stars Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver.
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
READY OR NOT
AKA
"a "game" you play whenever you're using a public bathroom
and you ain't too sure about that lock"
R / 1 hr 35 mins
Horror-Comedy-Thriller / Fox Searchlight
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A cheeky, albeit ridiculously premised, action horror movie where a bride's in-laws try and kill her in a game of hide and seek.
You might think the above image is merely an example of the lengths a bride needs to go to get her guests to use the goddamn wedding hashtags nowadays #perfectday #foreverandever #mandidjohnnygetwasted #yeahbutdidyouseehelen. While that may be true, the situation this image is plucked from is far more (equally as?) fucked up and far more fun - for us viewers at least. You may ask how a newly married women being hunted by her obscenely wealthy in-laws in a tortuous game of hide-and-seek can be considered fun, but we'd answer it's all in the execution...er, presentation.
Which is part satirical send up of the haute class as well as a legitimate emotional arc from the bride, Grace (Samara Weaving and definitely NOT Margot Robbie), who growing up as a foster kid just wanted a family to be apart of. Instead, she'll get to turn her new family into (body) parts with her shotgun. Which, again, for us, should be pretty fun when that family includes Adam Brody (Seth!) in typical snarkmode and Andie McDowell in full on kill mode.
Oh, we almost forgot. But why the whole game situation in the first place? Why not just kill her? You see, the family made all their money from board games and the like and for some reason they believe by not killing Grace in the form of a game they'll lose all said money. See, it all makes sense now. 🙃
REVIEWS
Well liked, which is generally hard to do in this genre. Seems the tone and pace work well for most people and the lead, Samara Weaving, is getting a lot of praise for holding the movie together.
"Relentless and thoroughly preposterous, Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy's script hews to its own batty logic, its frantic pacing peppered with morbid humor." Jeanette Catsoulis, NY Times
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%
(98 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you liked the playful genre twisting of Cabin in the Woods, but felt it could've used more high school snear
(Not): Monopoly can get too aggressive for you
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ANGEL HAS FALLEN
AKA
"what we've just now preemptively named
the day MaCaulay Culkin dies"
R / 1 hr 54 mins
Action-Thriller / Lionsgate
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: The continuation of an action franchise you might've forgot existed, but Gerard Butler sure hasn't because it's how he pays his damn mortgage.
See that image above? Yeah, it has a payphone in it. It's like a metaphorical way the filmmakers are saying "this movie is basically from the 90's!" for some nostalgia signaling. Well, it would be that if a movie like this had an ounce of subtlety in it, but come on, it's a 2019 version of a 90's movie, why would you expect subtlety? Stoic FBI agents that chase a noble white guy who is wrongly accused of a terrible crime? Totally. Freewheeling use of guns as a means to resolve a much too simple black and white situation while continuing to normalize firearms as "cool"? For suuuuuure. Bad guys you can pick out from the first ten minutes? Come on, of course! But subtlety? Nah.
But that's not what you expect in a threequel of a franchise headed up by Gerard Butler and it's not what some people want. Some people want a modern take on The Fugitive that's more boom kapow and less oh jeez! 😬oh boy! what's gonna happen next. Which, ya know, is all well and good. But key thing here is to figure out if you're part of that "some people" or some other people.
REVIEWS
The below review may seem harsh considering half of the reviewers gave it a thumbs up, but use it more as words of caution. I.e. if you're on the fence, get on back to the safe side.
"Operates on such a level of half-considered logic and improbable motivations that even moderately well-mounted action can't distract audiences from how dumb it is." Todd Gilchrist, The Wrap
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 51%
(41 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you just rewatched Con Air for the 17th time
(Not): what's a... payphone?
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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
BRITTANY RUNS A MARATHON
AKA
"Brittany waiting in the checkout line
at Trader Joes on a Sunday afternoon"
R / 1 hr 44 mins
Comedy-Drama / Amazon
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A dramedy about someone running to lose weight which is not what it's about at all, because it never is.
Did you workout yesterday? If you did, do you feel any better/worse about yourself? Why? If you didn't, did you beat yourself up/give yourself a break? And why is that?
.....?!
You're right, this isn't a therapy session. But sometimes movies hit on collective nerves when they get to the core of some common issues, like: weight, self perception, societal norms & expectations, self worth etc. But those are kinda weighty topics to discuss aren't they? Bleck, who wants to watch a movie about those. Unless, jokes! Cuz life issues are usually way easier to broach when they're laced with witty banter eh? Well, lucky for you, you're reading about Brittany Runs a Marathon, which has all of the above and gives you winning lottery numbers! Woo hoo! ...wait, nope, nm, just checked with legal and we can't actually say that.*
What we can say is that you're likely to find a good deal to like in the journey of Brittany (Jillian Bell - you know her from Workaholics, 22 Jump Street and a bunch more - she real funny), who is just trying to score some Adderall when her doctor basically says "you gon' die" if you keep living like you're living. "Living" being drinking, partying, little to no sleep, eating like trash, drugs etc. But his prescription of losing weight turns into more than that; it becomes a way for Brittany to course correct her life, but not in that ugh, this is so f'n predictable Hallmark channel kind of way. More in the "huh, that's not exactly as I expected and you're right movie, life is more nuanced than it's often portrayed in the media," kind of way.
*pssttt try 02-37-89-45-65-04
REVIEWS
"Colaizzo successfully walks a fine line between inspiration and caution, never presenting Brittany as a patronizing role model for weight loss, nor a clichéd case of inner beauty." Tomris Laffly, Time Out
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
(35 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you're not perfect
(Not): you're an "Instafluencer" who gets thousands of likes merely by posting pics of yourself eating your suuuuper healthy but soooo yummy breakie in your yoga outfit and don't get why people don't just do the same cuz like "it's not that hard"
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Good Boys ($21.4) NEW
Superbad Jr.
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Hobbs & Shaw ($14.2 / $134)
The Rock and Jason Statham F & F spinoff
67% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) The Lion King ($12.3 / $497)
Live action(?) remake
52% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) The Angry Birds Movie 2 ($10.3) NEW
The app turned movie gets a (better) sequel
76% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Scary Stories To Tell... ($10 / $40)
Creepy books turn into creepy movie
81% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Dora and The Lost City... ($8.6 / $34)
Bilingual kiddie adventurer comes to life
82% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) 47 Meters Down: Uncaged ($8.4) NEW
Sharks are scary, a sequel
51% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Once Upon A Time... ($7.7 / $114)
Tarantino's take on Hollywood 1969
85% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) The Art of Racing In... ($4.6 / $17)
Weepy dog movie
42% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Blinded By The Light ($4.3) NEW
British kid's love for The Boss changes lives
90% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
DON'T LET GO
David Oyelowo plays a cop whose family is murdered, but then he gets a call from his supposed to be dead niece... who is living in the past. Played at Sundance and didn't quite get them early glowing reviews.
LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
OFFICIAL SECRETS
A "based on a" (true story) movie where Keira Knightley plays a British government worker who leaked info that was being used to push the UK into the Iraqi invasion of 2003.
RAMBO: LAST BLOOD
September 20, 2019
Second trailer. Kinda looks like Rambo meets Home Alone. Which like, ok. Except he has to save his niece besides killin the bad guys.
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THE DEATH
OF DICK LONG
September 27, 2019
A quirky black comedy set in small town Alabama where some friends get weird one night and one of them dies, but the other two don't want to tell everyone how he died (or that they were involved). from one half of DANIELS who made Swiss Army Man and the DJ Snake / Lil John Turn Down for What video? Yup.
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HONEY BOY
November 8, 2019
We try and not miss any trailers, but we missed this one. So it's "old" (i.e. wasn't released in the last seven days) but it's still worth checking out if you haven't seen. Mostly because apparently it's pretty great (100% recommended with 39 reviews). It's written/directed/starring Shia LaBeouf about his experience growing up and becoming an actor and his relationship with this father (whom he plays in the movie).
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PARASITE
October 11, 2019
From Bong Joon Ho who has directed a lot of well respected movies (Snowpiercer, Okja, The Host) where an unemployed family becomes involved with a well off one that is part black comedy and part social critique. Reviews are very (very) good.
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BOMBSHELL
December 20, 2019
Takes on the sexual harassment situation and overall shitiness of culture that was (is?) Fox News - directed by Jay Roach. Yes, that is Charlize Theron as Megyn Kelly. Yes, it's very hard to tell it's actually Theron.
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UNDERWATER
January 10, 2020
Straight up looks like Alien underwater (seriously, the similarities are uncanny). Kristen Stewart and a bunch of other actors you may recognize (and who likely won't survive) are really far out and really far deep into the ocean when well, see the first line.
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ANTLERS
TBA (early 2020)
A kid has some very messed up stuff happening at home and his teacher (Keri Russell) and her brother, the sheriff, get involved. Likely to their detriment. Produced by Guillermo Del Toro and directed by Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart).
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