But like, what are clowns afraid of?

Sep 04, 2019

GUESS THE QUOTE
"To protect the sheep, you gotta catch the wolf.
And it takes a wolf to catch a wolf."

It was a quiet Labor Day weekend movie wise. Did you catch up on anything (or just catch up on sleep)? Either works.

If you're not into IT: Chapter Two, the sole major entry into theaters this weekend, there are a couple options for those of you in NY/LA. A documentary on Linda Ronstadt and a "personal" feeling movie in Ms. Purple - about an estranged brother and sister dealing with their dying father. Both of which have pretty solid ratings on RT (especially Ms. Purple).

Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

IT:
CHAPTER TWO

AKA
"when you get diarrhea... again"

R / 2 hrs 49 mins

Horror / New Line (Warner Bros.)

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: A (very long) sequel to the highest grossing (not adjusted for inflation) horror movie of all time.

Can we all agree on something? Something that can make even the stoutest and strongest amongst us feel like a newborn joey stuck outside its mother's pouch? Can we once and for all agree that clowns, in all their painted face infamy, are creepy...

.....?

Oh, wait, we already agreed on that? Like two years ago? When the first IT became the highest grossing horror movie of all time? Riiiight. Duh. Well shit, so this movie doesn't need much help then does it? But if you wanna kill a couple minutes, join us, as we delve into the sequel; which probably could've been named IT: More Scarier - because why use one word, when two will suffice (at needlessly making it longer and less effective). Which isn't to say this second sojourn into Derry, Maine (27 years after the events of the first film) isn't scary at all, it just may be a little less scary due to the fact it's hard to keep up jittery tension over nearly three hours. But this all assumes your fears are centered on makeup smattered creeps or creepy crawly creatures; because if your phobias bend towards human failings and overcoming past traumas, then this conclusion to the Losers Club's story will ignite your anxieties right quick.

The children of IT are now the grown ups of IT: Chapter Two - bigger, more adulty, but no less capable of having the crap scared out of them. And while the pants staining occurrences will be in abundance, they'll often occur in nearly episodic format when each character faces their anguished pasts and long dormant fears as they trek back to Derry (only one, Mike, stayed to study Pennywise - Mike is also the one that signals the proverbial bat signal for the club to return when the murderous red balloon toting prankster starts up again). Making sure these events carry the necessary dramatic weight, we have famous, and famously good at acting, movie stars: Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Bill Hader and Isaiah Mustafa (most known as the Old Spice guy), plays Mike. Yes, there are more members of the Losers Club, but you can only fit so much in three...er, nm. But even though Pennywise will inflict all his/her/its terrifying acts, you know it'll inevitably come down to one epic battle, which may be more befitting of a comic book movie. But even if the budget and action feel like a comic book movie, maybe just be glad you're finally not watching one?

Notes: same director as the first / they had to use de-aging FX on some of the kid cast (namely Finn Wolfhard - Stranger Things) because they grew up too fast

REVIEWS

While even most of the positive reviews note it's length / how it's not quite as fulfilling as the first, it's getting a "worth it" from most critics. What's almost universal is Bill Hader's performance and how much people love him.

"An elaborate fun-house horror movie that springs pop-up gimmicks and boogie-boogie scares steadily enough to excuse its been-there story and self-important 169-minute running time." Peter Debruge, Variety

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 71%
(104 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you appreciated the workout your hand got gripping the armrest during the first chapter and you could use another pump

(Not): you're pretty sure that clown at Betsy Smith's bday party was trying to kill you, and you still haven't gotten over it

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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(4-Day *Holiday* Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) Angel Has Fallen ($15.4 / $44)
Gerard Butler threequel action movie
39% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

2) Good Boys ($12.2 / $59)
Superbad Jr.
79% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

2) The Lion King ($9.3 / $524)
Live action(?) remake
52% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

4) Hobbs & Shaw ($8.4 / $159)
The Rock and Jason Statham F & F spinoff
67% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

5) Overcomer ($7.8 / $19)
Christian sports movie
45% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

6) Ready or Not ($7.5 / $22)
Bride in deadly game of hide and seek
87% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

7) Scary Stories To Tell... ($6.3 / $59)
Creepy books turn into creepy movie
79% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

8) The Angry Birds Movie 2 ($6 / $36)
The app turned movie gets a (better) sequel
72% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

9) Dora and The Lost City... ($5.8 / $51)
Bilingual kiddie adventurer comes to life
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

10) Spider-Man: Far... ($5.6 / $386)
New continent, same troubles
90% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

HUSTLERS

Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu are strippers who lead a crew to fleece some rich dudes. Apparently based on a New Yorker article about a roughly similar story.

WATCH THE TRAILER

THE GOLDFINCH

Movie version of the very popular (Pulitzer Prize winning) novel about a boy whose mother is killed in a terrorist attack at the MET and his story since. Ansel Elgort (Baby Driver) is the lead and also stars a bunch of other other knowns, including Nicole Kidman. Directed by dude who made Brooklyn.

WATCH THE TRAILER

JOJO RABBIT
October 18, 2019

Full trailer. Taika Waititi, the director of Thor: Ragnarok and Hunt for the Wilderpeople plays a silly version of Hitler, who is the best (imaginary) friend of a young German boy during WW II. The boy discovers his mother, Scarlett Johansson, is hiding a jewish girl which helps him confront his blind nationalism. Also stars Rebel Wilson and Sam Rockwell.

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TERMINATOR: DARK FATE
November 1, 2019

Full trailer. Key here is that this is intended as a direct sequel to T2 and that Linda Hamilton and James Cameron (but only as producer) are back. Arnold Schwarzenegger too (but he was also in the very meh Genisys). Directed by Tim Miller who made the first Deadpool.

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THE AERONAUTS
December 6, 2019

Felicity Jones and Eddie Redmayne partner again (Theory of Everything) in a story about a meteorologist and the balloon pilot who helps him. Set in the late 1800's. Note: will be a limited release, but on Amazon Prime two weeks after.

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JUST MERCY
December 25, 2019

Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Foxx and Brie Larson gettin in their Oscar entry with a "based on a true story" about a Harvard trained lawyer who comes to Alabama to help clients (one of which is on death row) getting horrible treatment by the state.

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BAD BOYS FOR LIFE
January 17, 2020

They back. Michael Bay (who directed the first two) is not.

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What's In Theaters +

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