GUESS THE QUOTE
"Oh Carlos, lend me your ear!"
We're not doing a whole feature on what is easily the "best" (i.e. most well reviewed) movie coming out this weekend - Parasite.
In part because it's a Korean language limited release (that hopefully expands), but also because apparently knowing anything about the movie is tantamount to spoilers.
But some background is that it's from Bong Joon Ho, the director of Okja, the Netflix movie about a girl who tries to save a giant pig, and the Chris Evans sci-fi train movie Snowpiercer (the movie, not the forthcoming TV show).
Parasite is currently at 100% on Rotten Tomatoes with 100+ reviews and seems a lock for a Best International Picture Oscar nom, if not Best Picture (it already won the Palme D'or at this year's Cannes Film Festival). So if you're even the slightest bit interested, check out the trailer, and then give it a watch if you're still intrigued (and you live in NY/LA).
Oh, and let us know what you think!
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
GEMINI MAN
AKA
"two hours a whole lot of astrology
devotees are going to regret"
PG-13 / 1 hr 56 mins
Action-Suspense / Paramount
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Two Will Smiths fight each other in high tech action movie directed by Ang Lee.
Look, even children get older, and we're gettin' older too. But veeeery few us have tens of millions of dollars spent to "de-age" us 20+ years. But Will Smith is one of the... lucky ones?
Yes, it's a question, because unfortunately it's just digital effects in a movie, and not real life. And because Smith, in this new and somewhat confusing world of allowing actors to play roles well beyond their years, has ended up on the technology > story side of things - as opposed to Scorsese's The Irishman, which is apparently much more in the realm of "the technology serves the story."
But why the need to quell those laugh lines in the first place? Because the basis for this story is cloning. And since filming half the movie 25 years ago when Smith was 25 (a la Boyhood) was not ideal (although apparently possible since the film idea has been around since the 90's), they needed a believable way for the The Fresh Prince to battle his younger self. And as much as contouring can work wonders, computers were the focus here. Apparently too much of the focus (see reviews below).
Director Ang Lee, who is known for very emotional stories (Brokeback Mountain, Sense and Sensibility) apparently got a subscription to Cinematic Toys for Directors Monthly a while back because since Life of Pi he's been delving into technology almost as much as James "let me build my own goddamn submarine" Cameron. While the results worked for Pi (he won best director at the Oscars that year), they appear to have diminishing returns for him since. But those returns will be very visible if you choose to see Gemini Man, because not only does Smith's skin get polished, so do all those motorcycle flips. As in, it'll look a lot like every current TV that auto sets motion smoothing, the effect all directors hate. Well, all of them except Lee it seems.
So why all the focus on the gadgets and doo dads; what about the story you say? Well, that's just it, apparently the story, even though it's had nearly 20 years to gestate, is quite lacking (again, see reviews). Smith stars as an aging, but amazing assassin, who suddenly comes under attack from an equally skilled assassin - a copy of himself. Except, you got it, a better dresser.
Oh, and younger, definitely younger. Way more youthful, just total youthiness. Still workin off that baby fat young. He's freakin young Will Smith, ok!? Jeez.
Note: now, we're not sayin' they should, we're just sayin' they could. Buuuut, reboot?
REVIEWS
"'Gemini Man' is a case in which an awful lot of effort has gone into making an awfully lazy action movie." - Peter Debruge, Variety
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 32%
(66 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you'll sacrifice story (and $15) for a chance to check out the latest film tech
(Not): all the tech you need is a pen, paper and that grey matter powered "computer" your keep inside your dome
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THE ADDAMS FAMILY
AKA
"duh duh duh dum *snap* *snap*"
PG / 1 hr 45 mins
Comedy-Animated-Family / United Artists
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: An animated refresh of the macabre family, to get a whole new generation into goth.
The Addams are a family whom no one has ever met, and yet everyone feels like they know them. Which makes sense considering they've been around in some form of cartoon (their first appearance), TV show or movie since 1938. And while you may think this iteration is just pandering to the modern day style, the animation of the characters is actually very close to Charles Addams original design. As for the movie itself, well, it is 2019 so some pandering will be had. Starting with the two rap songs you hear in the trailer, only slightly justified by Snoop Dogg droppin in as Cousin It (although his speaking lines are equivalent to Vin Diesel's Groot).
Now, with almost a century in existence, you'd think they'd be running out of things to get these characters into. Plus, for many people the 1991 version of The Addams Family is the only Addams Family (we still see tons of Wednesday Addams on Halloween every year, or on, ya know, a random Tuesday). But the target audience hasn't even approached a decade of existence, so the blackboard is pretty much chalk free. Although another consequence of having an audience that only recently learned how to wipe their own butt is a relatively simple storyline: that is the Addams are continually being chased for their "otherness," until they find a nice creepy (haunted) place to call home, that no one else would dare go near. Well, no one except an overly bubbly home renovator whose business is being threatened by their presence.
If you guessed the moral lesson will be simply to let people who seem "different" be themselves, you'd be right. Just feels slightly less meaningful when it comes from a movie that looks like all the rest of the "normies."
Note: voice work is done by a bunch of names, including: Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloë Grace Moretz, Finn Wolfhard, Nick Kroll, Bette Midler, Allison Janney.
REVIEWS
None yet!
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: your kids are wearing way too much damn color and you'd like them to tone it down a little
(Not): there is only one Wednesday Addams, and she is Christina Ricci
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JEXI
AKA
"thing your phone keeps
popping up reminders for,
even though you never set any for it..."
NR / 1 hr 20 mins
Comedy / Lionsgate
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A schlocky comedy version of Her, that's more about phone "addiction," than connection and love.
Ya know those movie ideas you toss around with your friends when you're buzzed at 2 am? Like, what if you did The Godfather, but instead of Marlon Brando, a monkey was Vito Corleone (you'd understand em both about the same /shrug), or like a horror movie where you think it's the Devil doin all this evil shit, but it's actually GOD, man (kabloow). Or maybe like a movie about what'd it'd reeeeally be like to date your phone, with your OS girlfriend sending dick pics to your contacts when she gets jealous, getting Ubers to chase you once you've spurned her for good. Totally. Because no way it turns out like that arty Joaquin Phoenix movie Her.
Pretty sure you guessed the last one is Jexi and yes, it's a real movie, which stars Adam Devine (Workaholics) as the black mirror obsessed gentleman who has to overcome his addiction before he can find a real connection. The digital assistant who becomes a bit too attached to it's operator, or Jexi, is voiced by Rose Byrne, which is a fun choice, although she probably could've used better lines than "who dis bitch?" or "nobody puts baby in the corner."
REVIEWS
TBD
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: I don't know man, my phone told me this was prolly gonna win a Tony and an Emmy, soooo
(Not): you watched the trailer and thought it was an SNL skit making fun of Hollywood
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Joker ($96.2) NEW
Dark origin story for smiling bat nemesis
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Abominable ($11.9 / $37.7)
DreamWorks Animation yeti movie
81% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Downton Abbey ($8 / $73.6)
Crawleys involved in some drama per yuzh
85% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Hustlers ($6.4 / $91)
J-Lo and Constance Wu strip & steal
88% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) IT: Chapter Two ($5.3 / $202)
The Losers Club v Pennywise: Round 2
63% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Judy ($4.6 / $9)
Judy Garland biopic w/ Renee Zellweger
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Ad Astra ($4.2 / $43)
Brad Pitt in space, dealin with family drama
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Rambo: Last Blood ($3.6 / $40)
It's Rambo (vs Mexican drug cartel)
27% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) War ($1.6 / $2.1) NEW
Indian action flick
75% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Good Boys ($2 / $80)
Superbad Jr.
79% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
MALEFICENT:
MISTRESS OF EVIL
Continues to show the flip side of the evil baddy originally seen way back in 1959's Sleeping Beauty. This time Maleficent's adopted "god daughter" Aurora is looking to get married, but mommy Maleficent, burned in the past by love, ain't too keen on that idea. Michelle Pfeiffer joins to stir the pot (cauldron?).
ZOMBIELAND:
DOUBLE TAP
F'n finally eh? Only took 'em 10 years. Sequel to Zombieland, the best movie about zombies outside of, well, ok, there are lots of good zombie movies (28 Days Later, Night of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead etc.), but it's definitely one of the funniest. Whole crew is back, with some new blood of course.
LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
JOJO RABBIT
Taika Waititi, after the success of directing Thor: Ragnarok, decides to make a movie about... Hitler? Sorry, a comedy movie about Hitler (whom Waittit plays). You might expect some trepidation (there is/was), but if you've seen any of Waititi's stuff, you know his irreverent satire is pretty much always on point. Turns out, reviewers agree.
LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
THE LIGHTHOUSE
The next movie from Robert Eggers, the director of The Witch. Stars Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe as two lighthouse stewards. Looks like shit gets weird, and dark, and then even weirder. Lookin' forward to it. Those who've already seen it, really like it (a lot).
RICHARD JEWELL
December 13, 2019
Clint Eastwood takes on another real life case, this time, the security guard who discovered the bomb at the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, but was then excoriated in the media and investigated by authorities. Looks better than you might be thinking. Lots of great actors in it too (Sam Rockwell, Kathy Bates, Jon Hamm, Olivia Wilde). Same writer as Captain Phillips.
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1917
December 25, 2019
Full trailer. World Word I movie directed by Sam Mendes (Skyfall, American Beauty) about a timely mission where two (young) soldiers are sent to deliver a message to save 1,600 other soldiers. Made to look as if it's all one take. Looks intense, and good.
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THE TURNING
January 24, 2020
Horror flick where the kids are creepy or the house, or both? Somewhat based on the novel The Turning of the Screw.
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