Ho Ho... Hold up? Christmas movies? Already? Yup. 🎅🎄🎁⛄
GUESS THE QUOTE
"Some motherfuckers are
always trying to ice-skate uphill."
Marriage Story, the Noah Baumbach movie with Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver; the other movie Netflix is hoping gets some awards love (it probably will) also comes out this week. But as was the case with The Irishman, the actual number of theaters will be limited and then start streaming on The Flix starting December 6th.
Jojo Rabbit is also continuing to expand and we highly recommend checking it out if you can, it's really great.
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
LAST CHRISTMAS
AKA
"It Begins."
PG-13 / 1 hr 42 mins
Romantic Comedy / Universal
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: TBD
Romantic comedies are a dying genre.
Is what everyone in Hollywood thought until Netflix walked in the room and was like "oh hi." See, people still like watching 'em, they just prefer to curl up into a ball (of emotions) and laugh / ugly cry in the comfort of their own home. But Hollywood is a jealous place, whenever success is attained, people want some of it. But it's also a cautious place, so you better have a hook - saaaay popular source material and an underserved market or a time of year setting that has produced some of the genre's most beloved hits?
Last Christmas focuses more on the latter and adds in a dash of "so hot right now" actors to sweeten the offering Emilia Clarke from GoT as a self destructing worker at a year round Xmas store and Henry Golding from Crazy Rich Asians as her "where the hell did you come from you're too damn perfect" new boy-frahnd. It ties it all in a nice little bow with the combo of usually on point director Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, recent Ghostbusters) and Emma Thompson (yes, that one) on writing/supporting cast duties. Is that it? Of course not! There's also a twist. Ooooohh. Man, is this a sure fire thing or what?? But wait, is it actually "good" you ask? ..... um, did we mention there's A TWIST?!
Although, to be fair, many (most?) romantic comedies are not critical darlings, because critics are cynical lovelorn beasts writing from cages sucking on bourbon and menthols while they try and bring us all down? Well, possibly, but more likely they're pointing out the genre's overreliance on cliches and hooks vs solid character and story. Which, can be nice, but sometimes you just want a good cry that'd embarrass a newborn. So ya know, YDY.
REVIEWS
What is "good" really. Whatever it is, this movie ain't it by reviewers standards, but like we said, sometimes you gotta do you.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 44%
(34 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you
(Not): you
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DOCTOR SLEEP
AKA
"Mara-Whanna"
R / 2 hrs 31 mins
Horror / Warner Bros.
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Sequel to Stanley Kubrick's The Shining you had no idea was coming.
Look, we have sympathy for the director here, Mike Flanagan. He's making a sequel to what is regarded by many as the best horror movie ever made. So one can imagine skepticism for this movie being a tad high. Now, in Flanagan's favor, Doctor Sleep is based on Stephen King's book sequel, so cred points up. He also has an ineffably great lead in Ewan McGregor (playing the all growed up Danny) as well as strong support in the underrated Rebecca Ferguson (from last two Mission: Impossible movies) playing the head of an evil cult targeting people with "the shining" ability Danny (and apparently others) has. Add to that an already solid horror resume and hey, things are starting to look up.
But then you remember, this is Kubrick. This is "Heeeere's Johnny" Jack Nicholson. How the hell do you top that? You don't. Cuz you don't even try. You do your own thing and hope people appreciate it for what it is and not what it's not. That doesn't mean you ignore what people loved in the first place, so you're going to give fans recreated shots from the original film, and you won't turn it into a modern jump scare fest. What's the worst that could happen? Ya know, besides getting terrible reviews, the movie bombing and your career being destroyed. Lucky for Flanagan, that seems quite unlikely (see reviews below).
REVIEWS
Not going to be added to the best of horror annals with The Shining, but still getting enough recommendations for a solid overall reaction.
"It's nothing to go channeling your inner Jack Nicholson and chopping through doors. But Flanagan's "Doctor Sleep" respects both King's and Kubrick's visions while letting a rising horror master go his own way, too." Brian Truitt, USA Today
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 75%
(101 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you prefer tension based horror vs the continual jump scares that are de rigueur these days
(Not): you even catch a glimpse of the twin little girls from The Shining and you sleep with the lights on for a week
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MIDWAY
AKA
"The SCC (Strong Chins Club)"
PG-13 / 2 hrs 18 mins
Action-War / Summit (Lionsgate)
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Roooaaarr, whooosh, kablooie!!
What do you see in that image above? Explosions, fighter jet, warships? What about that teeeeeny tiny faceless human piloting the plane? Hard to make out, but you probably can if you squint. Which is funny, because humans are in fact the reason all the rest of the chaos in the image exists - and yet. But humans are hard, complicated, things blowing up is easy! At least that's what you'd take away from director Roland Emmerich's movies, who helmed Midway, as well as plenty other effects driven movies. Sometimes it's worked for him to focus on spectacle, like in the first Independence Day other times.... *cough* Godzilla *cough*.
Here he steers away from aliens and world ending environmental destruction and narrows in on dubayah dubayah two. While apparently the Japanese side gets a slightly more humanistic treatment than they would've from back in the day war movies (although, that's not saying much at all), it's funny then that the Americans seem like the caricatures, with the (based on real people) cast filled with strong chinned "oooh yeah, that guy" soldiers, plus a few notable names in essentially cameos (Woody Harrelson, Dennis Quaid). But remember, humans < eh-splosions.
REVIEWS
"Emmerich's "Midway" manages to corral a screen full of true-life characters, up and down the chain of command. Yet you can't fully buy even the real, true material here." - Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 35%
(37 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: your 80 year old grandpa? Ok, maybe his 60 year old son too
(Not): you feel like crowd pleasing war movies kinda maybe sorta glorify war in a way that maybe kinda sorta results in more wars due to the less than full story notions of war they present
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PLAYING WITH FIRE
AKA
"water, please get lots of water"
PG / 1 hr 35 mins
Family-Comedy-Adventure / Paramount
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: The 6 year's old PG version of an R rated gross out comedy.
Y'all, gotta admit, this is a weird one. I mean, it looks as if someone rewatched Beethoven and was like, ya know, they don't make movies like that any more. Didn't consider why that might be the case, and decided to make one.
Thing is, it's for good reason they don't. At least not theatrically. Like sure, I get it if you're Disney Channel or a streaming service filling out your catalogue, but otherwise?
And those poor actors (although, not really that poor at all). John Cena, seems like a swell enough guy. Smartly been game for some against type / self deprecating roles (Trainwreck). Keegan Michael-Key, I mean, he's half of the great Key and Peele, nuff said. John Leguizamo, generally a nice addition. So what compelled them to do this? Oh right 🤑Ok, maybe that's cynical (is it?) cuz I'm sure they had fun on the set. I am not, however, so sure you'll have fun watching it.
REVIEWS
Imagine there will be lots of "harmless" and "for the wee ones" comments, but not sure that counts as positive feedback.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you're six / you really just need your kid to shut up for 90 mins / you're looking for somewhere to nap during lunch
(Not): you re-watched Beethoven and was like "ya know, they don't make movies like this anymore. good."
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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
HONEY BOY
AKA
"The Beef"
R / 1 hr 32 mins
Drama / Amazon
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Shia LaBeouf goes full therapy session in movie form, to the audiences' benefit.
Many of us play back in our heads the times in our lives that were most affecting. The fun parts, the parts where people were shitty to us, where we were nasty to others. But most of us keep that locked in our head. Shia LaBeouf is not most of us.
He's the guy who wears a bag over his head with the phrase "I am not famous anymore" written on it to a movie premiere, while still very much being famous. He's the guy who made this inspirational(?) video (which led to many other kinda awesome videos). He's the guy who sat at a table and let people tell him why he sucked (even rape him?!), without saying a word as a form of "apology." Shia LaBeouf is most certainly not most of us, and Honey Boy might help you understand why.
It dramatizes what was already quite dramatic, as it's based on LaBeouf's life. A father obsessed with his child's success, because his own depends on it. A grown up child actor achieving tons of professional triumphs, yet not a lot of personally. These are things most of us might try and keep hidden. But Mr. LaBeouf? Well, you know...
REVIEWS
"You'll never look at Shia LaBeouf the same way after seeing "Honey Boy," the affecting movie that's inspired by his own life." - Johnny Oleksink, New York Post
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 96%
(72 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you always thought LaBeouf was more interesting than weird / you find it cathartic watching other people's familial tumult on screen
(Not): watching fake family drama brings you too much actual anxiety
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Terminator: Dark Fate ($29) NEW
Straight sequel to T2: Judgement Day
70% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Joker ($13.5 / $299)
Dark origin story for smiling bat nemesis
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Maleficent: Mistress of... ($13.1 / $85)
Angelina Jolie Sleeping Beauty sequel
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Harriet ($11.7) NEW
Biopic of the real life superhero
73% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Addams Family ($8.3 / $85)
Animated take on the macabre family unit
43% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Zombieland: Double Tap ($7.4 / $59)
More nutting up and not shutting up
68% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Countdown ($5.8 / $18)
Phone app tells when u die
24% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Black and Blue ($4.1 / $16)
Dirty cops vs moral rookie cop
49% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Motherless Brooklyn ($3.5) NEW
Edward Norton 1950's noir
61% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Arctic Dogs ($2.9) NEW
Animated famous actor paycheck
14% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
CHARLIE'S ANGELS
Female written and directed.
FORD V FERRARI
Matt Damon, Christian Bale car movie. It's probably what you think it is (see above), but reviews saying it's a really good version of it
THE GOOD LIAR
Sir Ian McKellen and Helen Mirren face off in a heist"ish" movie. That looks pretty damn great. Same director as Gods & Monsters (also starring Ian McKellen).
LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
WAVES
TBD
THE BANKER
December 6, 2019
First "Apple Movie." Yup, doing TV and movies. Looks more interesting than title suggests; Anthony Mackie, Nia Long & Samuel L. Jackson work to buy banks in 1954, with help of "white proxy" Nicholas Hoult.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
JUMANJI:
THE NEXT LEVEL
December 13, 2019
Final trailer. Same crew - The Rock, Karen Gillan, Kevin Hart, Jack Black - except this time things get a little bit mixed up in who inhabits who(m?). Including Danny DeVito and Danny Glover getting involved.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
BAD BOYS FOR LIFE
January 17, 2020
Second trailer. They back. Michael Bay (who directed the first two) is not. If you liked either of the first two, it's the same vibe (in a good way).
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
THE PHOTOGRAPH
February 14, 2020
Basically a (better?) Nicholas Sparks movie. Notable difference is it has two black leads (Lakeith Stanfield and Issa Rae) and that's just by happenstance vs material to the story.
ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR
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