The Hulk vs Black Panther! Well, kinda...

Nov 20, 2019

GUESS THE QUOTE
"All I'm sayin is, if I ever start referring
to these as the best years of my life...
remind me to kill myself."

Soooo, 6 underground, it's a movie.

Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

FROZEN II

AKA
"ok, fine, the cold did bother me,
I just didn't wanna show it 🥶"

PG / 1 hr 44 mins

Family-Comedy-Adventure-Musical / Disney

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: The sequel you knew was coming, but for which you are not prepared.

If a kid was six when Frozen first came out, they've literally had to wait half their life for Frozen II. Plus, the first two years of your life don't even count since you can't remember shit anyway, so it's more like waiting 60% of their life in real terms. The equivalent time for a 40 year old? 24 years. Imagine waiting 24 goddamn years for something you already love so hard you could scream your vocal chords right out of your throat when you finally hold it (note: please consult a doctor if this happens)?

In the same respect, imagine being a parent and hearing your kid sing Let It Go over and over and over and over and over for that entire time - probably felt like "I don't care how many, just please fucking make it stop"....years. And if you're kidless and think this is being overblown, note that this Let It Go sing along has been viewed over 1.8 billion times. That's literally the number of children under the age of 14 in the year 2013 (I looked it up). All this for a song where the nuance and layeredness is not even understood by its most ardent fans, they just love Elsa and her dope ice castle.

So yeah, the anticipation is real.

Now, for the actual movie? It doesn't matter, and yet it does. It's already a guaranteed success, but it's a matter of how big of one. Early reviews say it does a good job following up, but does not usurp the OG. But how could it? The first film was literally the soundtrack to some kids lives.

Disney has kept with the sisters (both Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel are back of course) at the core of the relationship and returned all the beloved characters in Olaf and Kristoff as well introducing new ones (including This Is Us' Sterling K. Brown as the leader of a people stranded in an enchanted forest). By all accounts, standard sequel stuff. But the soundtrack, that's where the real power lies (lays?). The creative team (same as the first movie) have tried to create a new kids banger with Into the Unknown, but the children, oh the children, will decide if that truly comes to be...

REVIEWS

Also fair to point out these are all adults reviewing a film whose success is clearly going to be driven by children, so ya know, salt.

"There's... enough jokes, set-pieces and songs to enable this film to justify its existence, above and beyond the needs of the Disney corporation's accounting ledgers." - Glen Weldon, NPR

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 77%
(119 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you're any child of any age / a running back for the best team in the NFL

(Not): you're some sort of ice (prince)ss. Oh wait...

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A BEAUTIFUL DAY
IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD

AKA
"what it definitely will not be
if you start reading posts on Nextdoor"

PG / 1 hr 48 mins

Drama / TriStar (Sony)

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: What seems like a Mr. Rogers biopic, but actually a movie that puts the friendly neighbor, played by Tom Hanks, in a supporting role to a journalist, and viewers.

There's a good chance you think this is a Fred Rogers biopic. It is not.

It's a movie with Mister Rogers, yes, but it's not exactly about him. So what is it about if not Mr. Rogers? A friendship. So in a sense it kind of is a biopic, just that of a relationship and not of an individual.

The friendship at hand is between the "can he reeeally be that nice" children's TV host and a journalist, Tom Junod (Matthew Rhys from The Americans), whose own Esquire article on Mr. Rogers published way back in 1998 inspired the movie, and who recently checked back in on his friendship with the cardigan wearing neighbor 21 years later to discuss his feelings on the movie and how Mr. Rogers might have dealt with what we're all dealing with today (really worth a read if you're interested, as it gives nice context).

See, the writer was maybe a bit of an odd choice after he was known for slightly more acerbic writing, but that ended up being just right for Mr. Rogers kindness, who took a keen interest in Mr. Junod. Now, some of the details have been changed so as to make the story a bit more dramatic, but in essence it's about how Fred Rogers, and his unshakeable belief that each person has value, allowed someone to have that belief about themselves. And who better to play that role, and to convey that spirit, than Mr. Tom Hanks (who also received a pretty enjoyable interview on his own niceness from The NY Times). Some may think it's a boring choice, but reviews seem to say he does just right by not mimicking the late Rogers and by conveying a feeling - much of this working is attributed to the director, Marielle Heller who made last year's Can You Ever Forgive Me? And she is apparently the only reason Hanks did the movie (after passing numerous times before).

So with all that said, you may not come away learning more about "Mister Rodgers," but who knows, maybe you'll come away learning more about yourself.

REVIEWS

"With clear-eyed rigour, Heller, Hanks and Rhys put aside cheap sentiment and earn this film's authentic heartfelt emotion." - Caryn James, BBC.com

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 97%
(127 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you were once a child

(Not): you've watched plenty of conspiracy theory videos on YouTube about how Mr. Rogers was actually a Nazi propagandist (not sure that's actually a thing, but it's probably a thing)

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21 BRIDGES

AKA
"are there really that many bridges in Manhattan,
someone should probably count..."

R / 1 hr 43 mins

Action-Suspense / STX

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman has to switch from using vibranium to his cranium (*groan*) to catch some cop killers, and some killer cops?!, in this "gritty" (read: guns guns guns) action movie.

This is a movie you might expect Chadwick Boseman to have starred in before his huge turn as Black Panther / T'Challa. See, it's not wholly original in its "there's something else going on here..." start to the plot, or even entirely plausible in its literal lock down of Manhattan for five hours. But hey, sometimes you just wanna switch it up and shoot a bunch of bad guys in the face...? /shrug Question that 21 Bridges initially poses is, who the hell are the bad guys? But while there was plenty of debate after Black Panther in regards to that question, there probably won't be much here. Sure, there will be some plot twists as Boseman, playing a cool uber (not that kinda Uber) cop internally driven by the death of his own K.I.A. police officer father, initially works to solve the death of a group of cops in a cocaine heist gone wrong. But unless this is your first cop chase thriller movie, or you simply can't think through a barrage of gunshots, imagine you'll spot the twists coming. And if not, also imagine the characters will lay it out for you in exposition as they love to do in these movies.

Note: produced by Joe and Anthony Russo, directors of Avengers: Infinity War / Endgame - also stars Sienna Miller, J.K. Simmons, Taylor Kitsch and Keith David

REVIEWS

Boseman gets praise, but apparently he's not enough to overcome the maligned script.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 48%
(25 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you don't mind plot holes, as long as there are gun holes too / you didn't get enough of Boseman in his brief Avengers cuts

(Not): you keep yourself shooting distance from your local gun range (which, juuuust to be safe, should be >5 miles)

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LIMITED RELEASE SPOTLIGHT
DARK WATERS

AKA
"the environmental Michael Clayton,
with bad suits"

PG-13 / 2 hrs 6 mins

Drama / Focus Features

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: An "important" movie dealing with a poisoned local water supply from director Todd Haynes (Carol) and starring Mark Ruffalo.

Legal stuff is really boring. Like, reading most legal documents quickly results in *snort, snruf* "what? where am I?" kinda situations. I mean, when's the last time any of you (non-lawyers) read the T's & C's for literally anything? Mm hm. So even when you have a topline as scintillating as "massive chemical company knowingly poisoning workers and customer," how do you turn that into compelling cinema when the bulk of the story centers around a decade plus multi-layered legal battle filled with thousands of documents and strongly worded legal briefs?

Well, it helps if you start with a nice summary written by The New York Times Magazine, which cuts down much of the story to it's juicer bits. Doesn't hurt to add a very respected director in Todd Haynes who's made a lot of well reviewed movies like Carol and Far From Heaven. And you'd never turn down a bone crushing Marvel superhero, Mark Ruffalo, who's a passionate environmental activist to act as your star. But still, legal stuff, bleck.

So you play up the juicy bits, the dead cattle, the corporatey corporateness, toss in the personal strife moments caused between Ruffalo and his wife, Anne Hathaway - maybe even some intimations said chemical behemoth (DuPont) is lookin to put a hit on this annoying nat of a lawyer. Sure, you'll still have to show the drab courtroom scenes, but those become far more compelling when you know what's at stake - people's lives.

Note: the NY Times Mag article is pretty compelling if you're curious about the situation but aren't inclined to watch the movie (or just want a little less of an "artistic license" take)

REVIEWS

Is mostly getting recommended, but many noting Haynes generally notable direction gets a bit washed over.

"It's a decent movie in its own grim, doggedly determined way, and inarguably a story worth telling, but delivered in beats that too often feel both workmanlike and overly familiar." - Leah Greenblatt, EW

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
(19 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you're pretty damn sure the governments been mind controlling us for years (years!) through our water supply / you like learning the shittiness of the world via sitting on your butt stuffing your face with fake butter

(Not): you live by the creed, "if ain't one thing that's gonna kill me, it's another" - even if one "thing" is preventable

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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend / Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) Ford v Ferrari ($31.4) NEW
Matt Damon & Christian Bale car movie
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

2) Midway ($8.5 / $35)
Big budget action take on WW II battle
42% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

3) Charlie's Angels ($8.4) NEW
Refresh of the female action trio
58% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

4) Playing With Fire ($8.3 / $25)
Dopy firefighters battle kids
22% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

5) Last Christmas ($6.5 / $22)
Khaleesi & Crazy Rich Asians star meet cute
51% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

6) Doctor Sleep ($6 / $25)
Sequel to The Shining (book & movie)
76% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

7) The Good Liar ($5.6) NEW
Ian McKellen v Helen Mirren
64% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

8) Joker ($5.3 / $322)
Dark origin story for smiling bat nemesis
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

9) Maleficent: Mistress of... ($4.9 / $106)
Angelina Jolie Sleeping Beauty sequel
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

10) Harriet ($4.6 / $32)
Biopic of the real life superhero
73% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

KNIVES OUT

Rian Johnson, director of Brick, Looper and Star Wars: The Last Jedi does a whodunnit (with a ton of actors you know) and apparently, he does it very well.

WATCH THE TRAILER

QUEEN AND SLIM

A couple on a first date end up killing a cop in self defense and become fugitives / heros. Early reviews are sittin at 💯.

WATCH THE TRAILER

CATS
December 20, 2019

Second trailer. Yup, it's still human CGI'd cats.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR

THE CALL OF THE WILD
February 21, 2020

Disney does the Jack London novel, with CGI animals a la The Lion King and recruits Harrison Ford to act alongside the adorable stolen pup.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR

THE WAY BACK
March 6, 2020

Ben Affleck dealing with alcoholism while coming back to coach his high school alma mater basketball team. From director of better than expected Warrior and The Accountant.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR

TROLLS WORLD TOUR
April 17, 2020

Second trailer. Apparently there are different tribes of singing trolls, each separated by musical genre? Well, the rock n roll troll is kind of a jerk.

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR

THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE:
SPONGE ON THE RUN
May 22, 2020

Gary the snail goes missing!!!!!!!!!! (Why use one ! when ten will suffice?)

ADD TO YOUR CALENDAR

What's In Theaters +

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