And the best actor Oscar goes to... Adam Sandler??
GUESS THE QUOTE
"I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!
Hallelujah!
Holy Shit!
Where's the Tylenol?"
Golden Globe noms came out on Monday if you're curious. Netflix cleaned up in the Best Picture Drama with three nominations (out of five).
Another Terrence Malick movie is out this weekend too. It's called A Hidden Life and it tells the the story of a man who chooses not to fight for Nazi Germany. Getting the best reviews he's gotten since The Tree of Life.
PS I'm exaggerating a bit in the subject of the newsletter, but not that much. Check out Uncut Gems below to see why.
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
UNCUT GEMS
AKA
"that film footage (note: mostly a bunch of sunrises) you took
back in college which you just know would've turned
into the next Sundance darling"
R / 2 hrs 15 mins
Drama / A24
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Adam Sandler in a legit acting role, in a crime thriller from directors known to pile on the dramatic unease.
This is an Adam Sandler movie that is most definitely not an "Adam Sandler movie." Not exactly sure what the opposite of the latter is, but Uncut Gems has certainly got to be close to it.
That's because the directors, the Safdie Brothers (yep, actual brothers) are more into anxiety inducing tales about anti heroes than staring swans. Hell, they already have a, I wouldn't say classic, but very well liked, pairing of their nerve tweaking style and a well known actor far better known for other stuff, in 2017's Good Time - which saw Robert Pattinson continuing his quest to get as fucking far away as possible from Edward Cullen (a quest he's been quite successful at I might add).
Ok, so "anxiety inducing" and "nerve tweaking," what the hell does that actually mean? Well, how about this, it's the cinematic version of an old timey cartoon character tying themselves into a literal knot. In Good Time, Pattinson did it by roping his brother (played by one of the Safdie brothers) into robbing a bank and the ensuing chase and in Gems, Sandler plays a charming, but kinda shady jeweler who makes a ton of super risky bets, which put him, his family, and other people's money, at risk. The Safdie brothers do not make what you might call "traditionally enjoyable" movies, or happy movies, so calibrate you expectations accordingly.
However, so far, they do make very good movies (see below). And speaking of quality, Sandler is being touted for his acting ability in one of his rare dramatic turns (other notables have been The Meyerowitz Stories and Punch Drunk Love).
So see it for the fun(?) of sitting in a virtual vice or see it just for Sandler, but either way, you should probably see it (dependent on doctors orders of course*).
REVIEWS
Empathic in both their praise as well as noting the anxiety it brought them.
"[A] recklessly audacious and wildly accomplished blend of crime thriller, family melodrama, and sports drama." Richard Brody, New Yorker
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
(89 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you can handle, even enjoy, when there's no clear "hero" to a story, as long as it's a good one
(Not): *you checked with your doctor and s(he) said your heart rate shouldn't reach much above resting
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JUMANJI:
THE NEXT LEVEL
AKA
"Jumanji: I mean, we already said Jumanji, right?"
PG-13 / 1 hr 40 mins
Comedy-Adventure-Action / Sony
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A sequel that's basically the first movie, with a few tweaks, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Some writer for Jumanji: The Next Level deeeefinitely got high and watched Twins before they went and cracked this puppy. Because instead of just pairing someone like Danny DeVito with someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger, this movie turns Danny DeVito into Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock. Which, fuck it! Why the hell not!? This is Jumanji, a literal video game where they can do whatever the hell they what for christs sake!!
*ahem*
Sorry, got a little hyped up there. But seriously. As long as you have the title and the same stars, this movie was going to be fine. The last one made nearly a billion dollars. I mean, are you shitting me? But damn if America (and the rest of the world) don't love them some The Rock; then you add Kevin Hart and Jack Black? Pffftttt Game. Over. (<--- 🤠).
Now, this is a sequel, so you still have to do some new stuff (the previously mentioned addition of Danny DeVito also comes with Danny Glover), and there's plenty of that. New locations: The desert level! The snow level! New characters: Awkwafina! (seriously, heck yeah). And new relationship dynamics: the old crew grew apart, can they band together just like they once did and save the world?!? The answer is yes, yes they will. But you don't come to this movie to figure out what happens once the screen goes black, you come for the journey, and really, isn't that what it's all about in The End? (<--- 🙄)
REVIEWS
"It's not the most original kind of magic, but there's potency there, more than enough to keep audiences hanging around for at least one more round." - Kate Erbland, indieWire
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 71%
(80 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you're cool when a sequel is essentially the original with a new paint job
(Not): The Rock acting as Danny DeVito isn't the funniest idea you've heard all year
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BOMBSHELL
AKA
"the movie that confirmed Charlize Theron
is a changeling creature"
R / 1 hr 58 mins
Drama-Dark Comedy / Lionsgate
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A two hour takedown of Fox News' culture and the person who made it into what it is, Roger Ailes.
"Fox News." Even reading the words probably elicitics some emotion. Whether it's a feeling of devotion or disgust, it's probably going to be a pretty clear cut sentiment. So you should know right away that if you're a fan, the only way you're gonna want to watch this movie is to hate watch it - just like liberals do with the actual network. The network that for a time, was enmeshed with Roger Ailes, the sleaze bucket of a human that turned it into what it is. Ailes died in 2017, but not before being accused of sexual harassment by numerous women, which led to his resignation (and a $40 million payout). Two of the women were Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman), who publicly kicked off the accusations, and Megyn Kelly, who didn't come out publicly initially, but confirmed in an investigation Ailes harassed her.
The movie adds a third (fictitious) woman, played by Margot Robbie, who is a new hire Ailes tries to dig his grubby fingers into. She must decide where her allegiances lie (lay?) after Ailes propositions her and Carlson goes public, sending the whole network into (more of?) a shitstorm. Even though Carlson started the situation, and dealt with most of the blowback, you'll see more of Theron as Kelly, navigating the tumult while she's still a Fox News employee - as well as Robbie losing her innocence. A reminder that all this takes place during the run up to the 2016 election. So if you're still dealing with PTSD from that (or ya know, the last three years) we understand a hesitation for diving back in.
Note: John Lithgow gets the honor(?) of playing the deceased media patriarch
REVIEWS
The three stars getting lots of attention for the acting, especially Theron, but some critiques say it doesn't get deep enough.
""Bombshell" is a lurid, cartoonish romp, marred by rough and sometimes overbearing flourishes, but not without a tragicomic soul. That alone makes it a genuine movie of the moment." Eric Kohn, Indiewire
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 61%
(28 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you think Fox News is full of sick, messed up and perverse stories - and you hate it
(Not): you think Fox News is full of stories about the sick, messed up and perverse - and you love it
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RICHARD JEWELL
AKA
"your yearly reminder that Clint Eastwood
works harder than you do"
R / 2 hrs 9 mins
Drama / Warner Bros.
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: The story of the 1996 Olympic Games security guard Richard Jewell as told by the current "true story" master, Clint Eastwood.
At this point you could almost make an entire streaming service dedicated to movies directed by Clint Eastwood, 38 (potential names: Woodflix? CEBO? Ooooh, how about Movies for Grumpy Old Men: Not Including Grumpy Old Men). If that service is indeed created (and at the rate they're being launched, it seems likely) a category certainly would be "based on a true story." Because in recent years, Eastwood has dedicated much of his directorial efforts to telling stories of "everyday heroes," e.g. the airline pilot in Sully, the off duty military members in The 15:17 to Paris, the sniper in, um, American Sniper. He's been very successful (critically and at the box office) and looks to be again here with his portrayal of the security guard who, at the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, discovered a bomb, saving people's lives, but was then investigated for planting the bomb by the FBI and excoriated in the press.
Expect Eastwood's typical no-nonsense approach on the story (he's known for being judicious in his takes - in both camera shots and overall themes) which may not allow for a ton of introspective character study nuance, but what you are likely to get is a better understanding (albeit dramatized - some say unfairly) of a situation you have a conception of, but one potentially lacking in the humanizing elements of the story. As for the maligned (and since deceased) security guard, he's played by Paul Walter Hauser, who you may have seen in I, Tonya or BlackKklansman. The rest of the cast includes Sam Rockwell as his lawyer, Kathy Bates as his mom and Olivia Wilde as a journalist and Jon Hamm as an FBI agent.
It's getting legit awards attention (see reviews below), including being on AFI's ten best movies of the year.
REVIEWS
Critics are mostly into it, saying he humanizes Jewell, but there's lots of discussion (read: pushback) about how he doesn't do the same for people on the other side, including reporter Kathy Scruggs, played by Wilde, and the FBI.
"Anchored by three top-notch performances in a story about the frightening possibility of false accusation, "Richard Jewell" is a handsomely made film. But coming as it does in 2019, its vilification of reporters and the feds is even scarier." Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 82%
(34 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you love coming away from a movie learning something you didn't know before
(Not): Good ol Clinty lost you at "the chair" and he's never been able to win you back
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BLACK CHRISTMAS
AKA
"the year you thought your parents were just messin around
about that whole "we'll burn these presents, damn it, we will" thing..."
R / 1 hr 32 mins
Horror / A24
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A holiday themed horror slasher that tries to mess with genre tropes.
This is a chance to get your holiday cheer 🎄and your holiday sneer in 😈(which is, a thing... ?). Because although this has "Christmas" in the title, it's a slasher movie first and Christmas movie third* - one based on a cult horror flick, which is credited with helping introduce "slasher" as a genre. This version of the story shifts it from hapless sorority girls being picked off by evil bad guy, to, yes, still sorority girls being picked off, but this time, they fight back!
So it subverts genre tropes saaaaaay 90 degrees? Because while you'll still see yet another set of women being chased across the screen under the threat of bodily harm, you'll also see them band together and kick some (male) killer butt in a not all that subversive message about fighting back against the patriarchy. Which, in a genre known for not being the most progressive in its cultural portrayal of half of the world's population is something!(?)
The director is Sophia Takal, which is noteworthy since female directors who get the chance to direct wide release is already uncommon, and even more so for horror (film was written by Takal and April Wolfe).
REVIEWS
None really yet, but unlikely to push beyond the bounds of horror movies (which means generally poor reviews), but as always, reviews are just reviews, go with your (blood and) gut(s).
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you love it when characters say cheesy lines and then stab someone who deserves it
(Not): you want to take down the patriarchy, but you don't wanna have to watch people die in the process
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend /
Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Frozen II ($34.7 / $338)
Disney ain't lettin that $ go
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Knives Out ($14.2 / $63)
Modern day whodunnit w/ big cast
96% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Ford v Ferrari ($6.5 / $91)
Matt Damon & Christian Bale car movie
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Queen and Slim ($6.5 / $27)
Couple become heroes / fugitives
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) A Beautiful Day... ($5.2 / $43)
Writer becomes friends w/ Mister Rogers
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Dark Waters ($4.1 / $5.2)
Mark Ruffalo as lawyer v evil chemical corp
93% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) 21 Bridges ($2.9 / $24)
Chadwick Boseman cop killer thriller
50% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Playing With Fire ($2 / $42)
Dopy firefighters battle kids
22% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Midway ($1.9 / $53)
Big budget action take on WW II battle
43% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Joker ($1 / $332)
Dark origin story for smiling bat nemesis
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
STAR WARS:
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER
The end to the Skywalker tri-trilogy.
CATS
The Broadway show goes cinematic, and digital.
THE GRUDGE
January 3, 2020
Red band. Remake of the American remake of the Japanese horror flick. Stars John Cho and Betty Gilpin from GLOW and a bunch of others who'll die horrible deaths.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
THE ASSISTANT
January 31, 2020
Young assistant works for movie producer who is essentially Harvey Weinstein, though you apparently never see him.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
MULAN
March 27, 2020
Full trailer. Next live action Disney remake. Still no singing to be heard...
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN
April 17, 2020
Damn. Carey Mulligan as a former medical student who gets revenge on shitty men taking advantage of women. Looks intoxicating.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
WONDER WOMAN 1984
June 5, 2020
Further adventures of the laso wielding amazon. And some of them will be in malls, cuz duh, 1984. Chris Pine is back...somehow and Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal (The Mandalorian / Game of Thrones) join too.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
FREE GUY
July 3, 2020
Ryan Reynolds plays an unsuspecting NPC (non-player character) in something akin to Grand Theft Auto, when he decides to switch things up and realizes he's in a video game.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
GHOSTBUSTERS:
AFTERLIFE
June 5, 2020
Full trailer. Not quite the straight repairing of the original team as some may have hoped, but instead deals with the grandchildren of a certain Ghostbuster now passed 😢. Although Akroyd, Hudson and Murray are supposed to make appearances.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
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