Luminous Spheroid of Plasma Held Together by Its Own Gravity Wars 💫
GUESS THE QUOTE
"No no no no no no no.
You're not a worm feast.
You're an hallucination, brought on by alcohol.
Russian Vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl."
Heads up Bombshell (Fox News sexual harassment situation) is expanding nationwide this weekend.
Btw, if you're not into either of this weekend's choices, you have a bunch of very well reviewed choices next week. In fact, all four wide releases (and the limited release spotlight) are 80%+ on Rotten Tomatoes right now.
Also, an FYI that all of next week's wide releases will be coming out on Wednesday, aka Christmas Day. Don't worry (you weren't going to), I'll still be sending to remind you. 😁
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
STAR WARS:
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER
AKA
"oddly, also the name of the porn parody"
PG-13 / 2 hrs 35 mins
Adventure-Fantasy-Action / Disney
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: The end of the Skywalker "saga," but not the end of Star Wars.
Star Wars is Star Wars, but it's also STAR WARS. As in a pop culture touchstone nearly everyone is somewhat familiar with. True, Game of Thrones was a big deal, yes Marvel movies are massive, but, they're not Star Wars.
Avengers: Endgame, the most recent Marvel butt putter to sleeper and "biggest movie ever" doesn't even come close when you compare (domestic) ticket sales to Luke's first outing. The original Star Wars has sold over 178 million during its releases (plural because they did a special re-release in 1997). Endgame? 95 million. To be fair, 95 million is a crapload of tickets, but it ain't 178 million. The success is in part due to a lack of competition; no internet, no smartphones, no Netflix. Add in the advent of home video plus two new sets of trilogies and it becomes almost an idea rather than a simple story about an orphan kid from nowhere who becomes a (space) wizard battling an opposing evil (space) wizard... wait, are Harry Potter and Star Wars the same things? Anyway, sorry, yes, ok, you get, so what's the point? The point is...
...this is the end.
It's not the end for Star Wars as a brand and storytelling medium (not even close), but it's the end for the thread that George Lucas started pulling 42 years ago. No more Princess, ahem, General Leia (tear), no more Luke Skywalker, buh bye 3PO, au revoir R2-D2 and Han? Well, you know... And based on what they've said, it's the end for the new recruits too: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver.
J.J. Abrams, who ushered in the refresh with 2015's Force Awakens, is back to finish the series off (after Rian Johnson's somewhat divisive middle entry). And while Abrams was lauded for servicing fans and kicking off something new with his first effort, this one is seeing a different response. In fact, it's kinda getting meh reviews. 😬Saying the fan service maybe goes too far and packs in a potentially confusing amount of story.
Now, does it matter? Depends in reference to what. It's Star Wars. It's still going to make a ton of money, maybe a little less than it would've, but enough. Otherwise? Sure, it's a bummer it may not go out with a death star sized bang, but the originals are still there. Always will be. Always ready for you. Just like Obi-Wan and Yoda were for Luke...
In the meantime, see how it finishes. I mean, if you're a fan, you gotta, right? (Yes, you gotta.) Who knows, maybe they'll throw in a big twist where Rey is actually the Emperor's daughter. And oh yeah! The Emperor is back. Somehow...??
Fun Fact: for reference, when adjusted for inflation, Star Wars is the second biggest domestic earning movie ever. The biggest? Take a look.
REVIEWS
Not great. Even many of the positive ones are kinda down on it for one thing or another.
"The problem with "The Rise of Skywalker" isn't any single omission or misstep. It isn't the succession of cheap "gotcha!" twists that briefly threaten to alter how we look at these characters, only to abruptly pull us back to rose-tinted reality." Justin Chang, LA Times
Btw, if you care about spoilers do NOT read the "spoiler free" review by the NY Times. It is most certainly not spoiler free. In fact, probably best to avoid reviews all together (and um, the internet).
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 59%
(198 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you've ever seen a Star Wars movie and enjoyed it
(Not): you think a lightsaber is a welding tool (although, in your defense, it could be...)
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CATS
AKA
"woof"
PG / 2 hrs
Musical-Drama-Comedy / Universal
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: The (inevitable) movie version of the venerable(?) stage show starring Taylor Swift (but she's not the lead!), and some other also famous, but less so, people.
Some people are dog people and some are cat people. That (tbh, bullshit) adage of black and white thinking probably applies here - in multiple ways.
See, some people have seen and enjoyed the long running show from Andrew Lloyd Webber. And some people would rather eat cat litter turd biscuits.
Some people view the digitization of the human / cat hybrid creatures from Cats as "the weirdest shit I've ever seen".... and they've seen the Cats stage show. While some people are told of those people's reactions and forcefully retort "But you've seen the stage show!!"
So in summation, if you enjoyed Cats, are down with a furry Taylor Swift, and need more of both in your life, then this movie is probably for you.
Now, I could get into the plot, but if you thought the outfits were odd... But trust, there will be lots of singing (including the song that launched a meme before memes were memes) and dramatic flair from celebrities, like: Jennifer Hudson (Grizabella), Idris Elba (Macavity), Judy Dench (Old Deuteronomy) as well as Ian McKellen, James Corden, Rebel Wilson and... Jason Derulo? I mean, Jason Derulo!
Note: Directed by Tom Hooper who also did Les Misérables and The King's Speech.
REVIEWS
See the AKA above.
"There is something magical about the simple fact that this movie exists, in all its obscene, absurd wonder, its terrible filmmaking choices and bursts of jaw-dropping talent." Alison Willmore, New York Mag
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 14%
(50 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you loved the stage show and want to see a lot of famous people tell its story
(Not): you didn't know the cats in the show are called "Jellicles" and now you're offended
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend /
Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Jumanji: The Next Level ($59.3) NEW
Further in video game hijinks
69% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Frozen II ($19.1 / $366)
Disney ain't lettin that $ go
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Knives Out ($9.1 / $79)
Modern day whodunnit w/ big cast
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Richard Jewell ($4.7) NEW
Story of 1996 Olympics security guard
73% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Black Christmas ($4.2) NEW
Slasher where the victims fight back
40% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Ford v Ferrari ($4.1 / $98)
Matt Damon & Christian Bale car movie
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Queen and Slim ($3.6 / $33)
Couple become heroes / fugitives
82% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) A Beautiful Day... ($3.3 / $49)
Writer becomes friends w/ Mister Rogers
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Dark Waters ($1.9 / $9)
Mark Ruffalo as lawyer v evil chemical corp
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) 21 Bridges ($1.2 / $26)
Chadwick Boseman cop killer thriller
50% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
LITTLE WOMEN
The classic story as told by director Greta Gerwig (Ladybird). Reviews are out and they're just delightful (97% on RT).
1917
The "one shot" World War 1 movie directed by Sam Mendez (Skyfall, American Beauty). Reviews are also poppin on this one.
JUST MERCY
Michael B. Jordan is a recent Harvard law school grad taking on hard cases that deal with racist bullshit - some of which helped wrongly convict Jamie Foxx's character. Yup, reviews good too!
SPIES IN DISGUISE
Tom Holland (Spider-man) plays geeky spy tech guy who turns super spy Will Smith into a... pigeon. Apparently, per reviews, it mostly works.
CLEMENCY
Alfre Woodward is a prison warden whose oversight of inmate executions has taken its toll. Reviews are very good.
ONWARD
March 6, 2020
Second trailer. Next Pixar movie set in a world with elves, dragons etc., but also just like our world with cars, trash days and coffee. Chris Pratt (Starlord) and Tom Holland (Spider-man) are brothers who try and re-discover magic to bring back their dad for 24 hours.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
SAINT MAUD
March 27, 2020
Horror flick where suuuuuper Christian young woman cares for dying people and wants to (obsessively) help save the soul of one her patients. Looks good, apparently is quite good. An A24 flick.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
IN THE HEIGHTS
June 26, 2020
Movie version of the Broadway play from Lin-Manuel Miranda that follows a bodega owner at a critical juncture in his life.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
TOP GUN:
MAVERICK
June 26, 2020
Second trailer. Finally learn that plot: Maverick is a test pilot who gets invited back to train Top Gun students. One of which happens to be Goose's son (Miles Teller).
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
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