Passively Aggressive, Aggressive Ghosts 👻
GUESS THE QUOTE
"[inaudible whisper]"
The Grudge may be the only new release, but lots of (good) choices still out there. Little Women for example, damn good.
Also, a reminder that Just Mercy and 1917 will be expanding next weekend.
Oh, and Happy New Year eh! 🥳✌️🍩✌️🍩 🥳
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
THE GRUDGE
AKA
"what you call your college roommates
holding on to that one time (ONE TIME)
you "accidentally" destroyed their
bag of apples with a golf club"
R / 2 hrs 15 mins
Horror / Sony
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: The Japanese horror classic made again, but like, different (and without our trusted vampire slayer).
From the marketing, one might think these movies are an advertisement for clogged drain cleaner, what with all that wet hair involved. Yyyyhhuuuccckherhghhgg. But... surprise! It's a horror movie!
Cept not really surprise at all, because you (should) already know what The Grudge is. It's that creepfest where hands come out of people's friggen heads. Which, true, would be pretty scary (although kinda nice for those hard to reach back itches...?), and also a really weird way for a deceased human to mess with still alive humans. Cuz like, if you can manifest your hand in someone else's head, from beyond the grave?? Wow. The possibilities are endless. Delete their entire Netflix cue? Ooof. Now that's scary. Open their freezer door so all their Ben and Jerry's melts? Buh-roo-tul.
But duh, this is The Grudge, although it's noooot exactly what you know. While the filmmakers have stressed "it's not a reboot," because apparently that word is scarier than Kayako Saeki, who, btw, may or may be in this movie (psssttt, she's the long haired slithering demon from the Japanese and American OG movies). It is a new story, and now R rated (2004 version was PG-13) even though it's still "in the same world" - because maybe Sarah Michelle Gellar wants to come back if this is a hit? Idk. What should be the same is the whole multiple storylines converging around one house haunted due to a horrific death, which in turn, will cause further ones.
So, come for the hair. Stay for the brutal sadistic killing of multiple people...? Jesus christ humans are so messed up.
Note: stars John Cho, Betty Gilpin (GLOW) and a bunch of other people who will, let's be honest, probably kick the budget.
REVIEWS
None yet, but can't imagine they'll be all that jazz handsy.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you really feel like you needed a reason to open all your cabinet doors before going to sleep for a week
(Not): a little horror doesn't scare you (it terrifies you)
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend /
Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Star Wars: The Rise of... ($72.3 / $362)
The end to the Skywalker story
55% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Jumanji: The Next... ($35.3 / $175)
Further in video game hijinks
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Frozen II ($16.9 / $422)
Disney ain't lettin that $ go
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Little Women ($16.8 / $29) NEW
Greta Gerwig takes on the classic book
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Spies in Disguise ($13.4 / $22) NEW
Will Smith / Tom Holland as animated spies
55% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Knives Out ($9.9 / $110)
Modern day whodunnit w/ big cast
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Uncut Gems ($9.6 / $20)
Adam Sandler anxiety inducing trip
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Cats ($4.8 / $18)
Ummm, it's cats, but humans, but cats. idk
17% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Bombshell ($4.8 / $16)
Fox News sexual harassment story
67% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Richard Jewell ($3.1 / $16)
Story of 1996 Olympics security guard
73% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
LIKE A BOSS
Rose Byrne and Tiffany Haddish take on Salma Hayek trying to screw them out of the makeup business they've built.
UNDERWATER
Basically Alien, ahem, underwater.
NEVER RARELY
SOMETIMES ALWAYS
March 13, 2020
Super indie feeling story about a girl dealing with a pregnancy she's not ready for and how she, and her cousin, deal with it. Playing at Sundance this year.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
THE TRUTH
March 20, 2020
Next movie from Shoplifters director Hirokazu Koreeda. Stars Juliette Binoche playing the daughter of Catherine Deneuve, who is a celebrated actress, but as a mother, less so. Also stars Ethan Hawke as Binoche's husband.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
A QUIET PLACE
PART 2
March 20, 2020
Picks up right after the end of the last one. They leave the farm and meet some new... friends?
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
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