It's awards season. 🏆 Just not for these two movies.
GUESS THE QUOTE
"I got gum on my seat... gum!"
Reminder that Just Mercy and (Golden Globe winner) 1917 are finally nationwide this weekend.
In recent / future movie news, Knives Out is likely getting a sequel, because of course it is. It was good, it made a lot of money and it was (relatively) cheap. And it's happening quickly too - best guess is a release in 2021.
And wow, straight from the no one saw that coming department, so is Cats.
No it's not.
That was a joke.
Just like that movie. 😇
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
LIKE A BOSS
AKA
"What your uncle uses
as a means to declare... anything.
Opening a jar of pickles? Like a boss.
Going to the DMV? Like a boss
Wait, is your uncle Slim Thug?"
R / 1 hr 23 mins
Comedy / Paramount
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Rose Byrne and Tiffany Haddish getting paid to screw around and make jokes.
Look, it's 2020, you know this (cuz you keep getting reminded literally everyday - srsly, when do we stop wishing people a happy New Year?). And with this new decade, it's almost not even noteworthy that there's a raunchy buddy comedy where the leads are women coming out.
Keyword: Almost.
Because 2020 isn't that far from 2011, when Bridesmaids was released. True, there were examples of female buddy comedies before that (Romy and Michelle, Baby Mama with Poehler / Fey), but Bridesmaids was definitely "a thing." It didn't solve problems instantly, but it shifted the many in Hollywood's understanding of what the public would consume (took 'em long enough, sheesh) and paved the way for movies like 2019's Booksmart to get made. Like, for real.
But right, back to Like a Boss. Which, let's be real, is likely not going to be "a thing." It's Rose Byrne and Tiffany Haddish doing the funnies with a just tight enough story wrapped around as to not to fall off. Imagine there will be all the types of R rated jokes you expect (and some you probably don't, like a baby vagina poop cake in celebration of an impending birth - see: the trailer). But mostly it'll be Haddish and Byrne trying to get you to squeal (maybe unsuccessfully say reviews) - supported by Salma Hayek as their nemesis and Billy Porter as their employee.
And the nice aspect of Like a Boss not being a thing is, it almost doesn't have to be. It can almost just be a movie, liked or disliked, based on its comedic merits. Where presumably its success, or failure, doesn't prop up or doom the next set of female led comedies. But that "almost" is still there, just hanging on, so just to make sure, here's hoping for a bunch more of these so we can finally kick that "almost" right into the g-damn gutter.
Noteworthy: the director, Miguel Arteta, has made other comedies, but more "indie," like: Cedar Rapids, Salma Hayek starrer Beatriz at Dinner, and Jennifer Aniston's The Good Girl.
REVIEWS
Um, not great. So yeah, probably not gonna be a thing.
"Despite paying lip service (so to speak) to female friendship and unconventional women (Mia and Mel are proudly unmarried, childless roommates in their 30s), it loses its bravado halfway through and falls back on the most witless of plot devices..." - Sara Stewart, The New York Post
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 13%
(16 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you think Rose Byrne and/or Tiffany Haddish are high...larious. Or you're high. Wait, who is high? Huh?
(Not): when I mentioned a "baby vagina poop cake" you expected the devil to arise from the ground because that combination of words has got to be some form of heresy
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UNDERWATER
AKA
"cutish sounding name your older brother
gave to the game you used to play as kids.
Same game you called drowning"
PG-13 / 1 hr 35 mins
Action-Suspense-Sci-Fi / Fox (Disney)
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Like a modern, but (much) lesser, version of Alien taking place, well, you know.
You could probably figure out whether you should watch this movie with a very short decision tree, starting with...
"Do want to watch a claustrophobic horror"ish" monster thriller with a twinge of sci-fi?"
No? Don't see this movie. Yes? Continue.
"Do you see anything wrong with a female lead in a typically male centered genre?"
No? Noice. Continue. Yes? Unsubscribe pls.
"Have you seen the 1979 Ridley Scott classic Alien?"
No? Go watch it. Yes? Right on. Watch it again.
But wait you say, none of that says to go watch Underwater? Weeeeelll....
Ok, fine, you're right. Which, is not entirely fair. Because while this appears to be aping Alien hard, like real hard (goin so far as to copy the title sequence and having the female lead run around in her underwear - which based on reviews, starts to be a bit odd), but still, you can only watch the same movie so many times. Plus, this is a modern movie (well, almost, it was made three years ago), so you can expect snazzy effects and more right to the point action than the slow build Alien had (damn, that movie is good). For context, Kristen Stewart is the Ripley like character here and her compatriots are filled out by Vincent Cassel, T.J. Miller (remember, made three years ago) and other notable, but less so actors. Sure, you'll watch most of them die at the hands (claws? tentacles??) of the monsters from the deep as the team tries to cross the ocean floor after their research lab explodes with thousands of gallons of water - but that's the fun of it, in't?
REVIEWS
Nearly every single one seems to reference it's reliance on Alien, but some are cool with that and some...
Remember, critics see a lot of movies so they tend to want something fresh - maybe you're less concerned about that? /shrug
"What frustrates me most about Underwater is just how very little it brings to the table. It's a solid, competently directed regurgitation of an oft-told tale that never manages to justify its own existence." - Benjamin Lee, The Guardian
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 50%
(24 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you read the decision tree right? Yes? Ok, we're good. No? Read the decision tree in What's The Deal. .
(Not): See above.
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(3-Day Weekend /
Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Star Wars: The Rise of... ($34.5 / $452)
The end to the Skywalker story
54% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Jumanji: The Next... ($26.2 / $236)
Further in video game hijinks
70% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) Little Women ($13.6 / $60)
Greta Gerwig takes on the classic book
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Frozen II ($11.8 / $451)
Disney ain't lettin that $ go
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) The Grudge ($11.4) NEW
More hair drain clogs. Shoot! Oh, and death
16% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Spies in Disguise ($10.4 / $47)
Will Smith / Tom Holland as animated spies
75% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Knives Out ($8.9 / $130)
Modern day whodunnit w/ big cast
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Uncut Gems ($7.6 / $37)
Adam Sandler anxiety inducing trip
92% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Bombshell ($4.1 / $25)
Fox News sexual harassment story
67% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Cats ($2.6 / $25)
Ummm, it's cats, but humans, but cats. idk
21% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
BAD BOYS
FOR LIFE
What chu gonna do? No, seriously, you already know what it is, so you gonna see it or nah?
DOLITTLE
Not at all like the Eddie Murphy version. Looks more like a combination of Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle Book.
GRETEL & HANSEL
January 31, 2020
Did you watch The Witch? Looks like that (dark, cold, horror), but for the story of Hansel and Gretel, er, Gretel and Hansel.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
BRAHMS: THE BOY 2
February 21, 2020
Creepy doll, that's actually a boy (or something), returns and corrupts Katie Holmes' son. Expect lots of jump scares.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
FIRST COW
March 6, 2020
A movie about two men who become friends and milk a cow. No, for real. And it's apparently quite good (if you're cool with slower movies). Next movie from director Kelly Reichardt who made Certain Women.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
THE NEW MUTANTS
April 3, 2020
Huh, seems like they're finally releasing it (this movie has been delayed three times). It's basically a horror movie X-Men like mutant movie starring a bunch of notable young actors.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
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