GUESS THE QUOTE
"I have a competition in me.
I want no-one else to succeed.
I hate most people."
Do they give an Oscar for hardest working actor? They don't? Well, they should, and they should give it to Nicholas Cage. Dude pumps out movies. Pumps.
In the last two years he starred in 10 live action movies (plus some voice work). That's basically Daniel Day Lewis' entire career in twenty four months. I mean jesus. Now, not all of them are "good" movies, but at least most of them are freakin bonkers? Take Color Out of Space coming out this week in limited theaters (it should be on VOD quite quickly, hence why I didn't feature). It's about a meteor that harbors an alien "something" that infects Cage and his family while also making everything super neon colored. It's straight B-movie stuff, but apparently the good kind.
So come on Academy, stop being so stuffy and get on that new category. Cagey here needs another statue.
Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."
THE GENTLEMEN
AKA
"a proper compliment or serious dig,
all depending on how you say it"
R / 1 hr 43 mins
Action-Comedy / STX
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: Guy Ritchie getting back to his cheeky "Snatch" / "Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels" ways.
The last movie Guy Ritchie directed was the retelling of a beloved Disney classic about a punchy kid from the streets and his sweet, but fiercely independent gf. So it follows that his next would include pig f#cking*, more f-bombs than Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes, characters dropping casual racist comments, and sexual assault?! 🙃
.....
Hey, Disney, at least he made it after Aladdin? 🤷♂️But while Ritchie has clearly been tryin to make that money over the past decade+ helming big budget Hollywood fare (sometimes failing spectacularly), he's apparently still that Guy Ritchie. The same director that renamed dogs "dags" for an entire generation and whose early movies populated the Facebook Movie Likes section for many a young college male (who'd try and convince you Ritchie was "the British Scorsese").
So while it may have been 20 years since Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, time has not removed Ritchie's penchant for fast talking low life thugs. Which you'll get a lot of, many of them portrayed by very handsome and famous people. I could get into the story, but it's a little long and confusing, but suffice it to say it'll be nice and Ritchie"esque." It'll also be self aware with Hugh Grant narrating as he tries to blackmail potentially retiring weed boss Matthew McConaughey, via Charlie Hunnam who plays McConaughey's dutiful assistant. Grant plays a shady journalist pitching his "story" to Hunnam, which is actually a movie script, which is also apparently the movie you watch.
....? See, told ya, confusing. It's a yarn that'll also include Henry Golding from Crazy Rich Asians as an upstart competitor, as well as Jeremy Strong from Succession. Add in Colin Farrell stuck in as a weirdo boxing coach with strictly weird morals and you definitely have a cast... of a lotta dudes. But wait! Michelle Dockery from Downton Abbey plays McConaughey's wife. Soooooo.
But trust, if you've been waiting for a comeback for Ritchie as you first came to know him, this is probably what you've been waiting for.
*clearly someone hasn't seen Black Mirror S1E1 (or, they've watched it way too many times)
REVIEWS
Plenty of recommendations, (in fact, it's currently Ritchie's highest rated movie on RT) although getting good amount of knocks from critics for not doing much different than his films have done in the past, and being potentially offensive - most specifically, racially.
"There is no denying the nostalgic if somewhat guilty pleasure of experiencing Ritchie's madly tangled plots and colorful language once again." - Nicholas Barber, The Wrap
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 76%
(67 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: you were right bummed when you never got the RocknRolla sequel you were promised (and you're not Gerard Butler)
(Not): your idea of a good time isn't to hang out with bad people
SHARE THIS FLICK W/ FRIENDS
THE TURNING
AKA
"when you just. can't. find.
a. good. sleeping. position."
PG / 1 hr 46 mins
Horror / Universal
WHAT'S THE DEAL
In One Line: A modern retelling of the classic horror story "The Turn of the Screw" about creepy kids, creepy houses and creepy ghosts.
This horror flick is based on the very popular novella The Turn of the Screw, so I'm sure you're well aware of it and we can just move along to.... *checks notes* Erm, "the very popular novella from 1898." Ok, so yeah, unless you're pushing 150 (or an English / Lit major), good chance this one is new for you.
Right, so what is it then? Well if you watch the trailer, it's another creepy kid / creepy old house movie - which it is. But it's also a story based on source material which can claim OG status in this genre as writer Henry James parsed out his menacing tale across twelve serialized installments waaaaay back in the day. You can imagine the anticipation of the newspaper reading public, waiting to see what terrifying thing they were going to be scared 💩less by next. And then you can imagine yourself, in 2020, being somewhat interested in the story because you've seen or been exposed to countless stories like it and then getting a text message about a mildly amusing TikTok and completely forgetting what is the hell you were doing and thinking wait, where am I?
Focus!
That is to say, the 1890's are slightly different than the 2020's. And yet there are still plenty of commonalities. Key one here is that people still love to be scared out of their gourds. Because even if a story has been told a thousand times, if it's told well, it kinda doesn't matter. And for what it's worth, the story has been updated to modern day"ish"; "ish" because it's actually set in the 1990's so as to exclude some aspects of modernity (read: cell phones) and so as to keep that oppressive feel. Problem is, we don't know if it's been told well here because no reviews yet. :/ So if you haven't been distracted away yet, you can either wait for reviews or rely on your own intuition based on the trailer and your desire to see Finn Wolfhard (who has became quite the horror staple in his young career: Stranger Things, IT) as one of the offputting youths and MacKenzie Davis (Halt and Catch Fire, Tully) as his and his sister's nanny being tormented by ghosts... or is she?
REVIEWS
None yet!
Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)
WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?
For: 150 year olds who've been holding on just so they can see a right proper cinematic telling of their favorite ghost story / cross section of lit majors, horror fans and Finn Wolfhard fan club members
(Not): your house with the lights turned off is all the creepy house you need in your life
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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(*4-Day Holiday* Weekend /
Domestic Total - $ = millions)
1) Bad Boys for Life ($73) NEW
Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, they back
76% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
2) Dolittle ($28.3) NEW
Robert Downey Jr. can talk to animals
18% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
3) 1917 ($27 / $82)
WW I one shot
89% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
4) Jumanji: The Next... ($12.7 / $274)
Further in video game hijinks
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
5) Star Wars: The Rise of... ($10.6 / $494)
The end to the Skywalker story
52% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
6) Little Women ($8.2 / $87)
Greta Gerwig takes on the classic book
95% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
7) Just Mercy ($7.5 / $21)
Disney ain't lettin that $ go
83% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
8) Knives Out ($5.3 / $147)
Modern day whodunnit w/ big cast
97% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
9) Frozen II ($4.2 / $466)
Disney ain't lettin that $ go
77% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
10) Like a Boss ($4.8 / $18)
Tiffany Haddish & Rose Byrne comedy
20% RT - Trailer - Showtimes
THE RHYTHM SECTION
Blake Lively turns hair do remixer extraordinaire, oh, and badass seeking revenge (with some help from Jude Law) after her entire family is killed in a plane crash.
GRETEL & HANSEL
Sophia Lillis from IT (first Chapter) in a retelling of the fairy tale (nightmare?). Looks stylistically a lot like The Witch.
THE ASSISTANT
Takes on Harvey Weinstein, and Hollywood power dynamics, apparently without even mentioning him.
THE LOVEBIRDS
April 3, 2020
Issa Rae (Insecure) and Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley) do the couple having a crazy night thing a la Date Night and Game Night after their car is hijacked and used to kill someone.
PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
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