What's new again is old.

Feb 19, 2020

GUESS THE QUOTE
"Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
You wouldn't let me!
Well, I saw it! And it scared the shit out of me!
It scared the shit out of every man in America!"

Sonic. Geez, who said a face lift never did anyone any good?

Cutoff? Go here, click "most recent edition."

THE CALL OF THE WILD

AKA
"worst call to get when you're in a car
in the literal middle of friggen nowhere"

PG / 1 hr 50 mins

Adventure-Family-Drama /
20th Century Studios (Disney)

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: Harrison Ford using his grumplestiltskin powers for the forces of good (boy)!

Let's be real, if Harrison Ford isn't in this one, it's a totally different movie. It's a testament to the fact that even in his later 70's, Ford is still one charming SOB - and an SOB he can be. His on screen personas are befitting of someone of whom you'd ask a simple favor and they'd guffaw as if you just asked them to saw off their entire left arm. But it works. Because you know that somewhere under that gruff exterior, there's a warm (albeit hard to reach) heart beating just like the rest of us.

And what better way to force that blood pumper wide open (uh, not like that) than an adorable lumbering canine. A dog which is actually the true lead of the movie, buuuut since he's entirely CGI, Ford gets the billing all to himself. But that ol' curmudgeon won't get the whole movie to himself because the story, adapted (i.e. it won't be quite the same plot) from Jack London's novel actually centers on Buck and his jump from pampered house dog to lead sled dog in the Alaskan Yukon during the gold rush - which is where he eventually connects with Ford and forms that understood by so many, wo(man)'s best friend relationship.

And you'll probably want to go for that aspect because while the movie has gotten pretty decent reviews, it has gotten some knocks for it's CGI effort that some think is too cheesy or uncanny valley"ish" looking (but to be fair, it's way better than subjecting animals to stuff they never would chose to do on their own...).

Also worth noting that you may be confused because all this sounds a looot like a movie Disney would make, and yet if you watched the trailer, zero Disney logos. But wait. Since Disney bought the Fox movie studio, it (kinda sorta) is! But even if it wasn't technically ushered into creation by the mouse house, it still certainly looks to be going for that wholesome family feel. So if you've already watched Sonic or just want something a bit more "classic," Wild is probably a good bet.

REVIEWS

Mostly well liked (especially Harrison Ford) for being a bit of a throwback earnest story, if the CGI isn't always.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 73%
(56 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you instantly go into your "who's a nice wihl puppsy whupsy" voice anytime you encounter a dog

(Not): cats rules and dogs drool! (<-- still not sure how that's an insult, but sure)

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BRAHMS:
THE BOY II

AKA
"hip hop EP of your altar ego that somehow
( 🙄) never got much play on Soundcloud"

PG-13 / 1 hr 26 mins

Horror-Suspense / STX

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: A sequel to a creepy doll horror movie you've probably forgotten about, and probably will forget about again.

Is it a creepy doll movie?! Is it a creepy kid movie?!

Surprise! It's both!

Oh wait, you're not surprised at all? Yeah, well, that makes sense. Because even though this is a movie where surprise should be its MO, there actually looks like little that won't fit your expectations. Startled or jolted? Sure. But surprised....? But maybe that's part of the appeal. There's going to be some disconcerting characters (see above) and bunch of scenes where the sound gets reeeaaal quiet until all of a sudden... BAM! a big punch from the score and something jumping out at the character whose tip toeing around. And that can be comforting, to know that these characters will fear for their lives and you'll get to laugh nervously and giggle at your seat mate knowing you're not the one who's life is in danger (for the billionth time, humans are so messed up).

Speaking of characters, this takes off fresh from the first movie, with Katie Holmes taking over as lead dealing with a "I love my kid, but how far does that love have to go...?" situation as mom to a son showin' some real disturbing tendencies. These seem to get acerbated after the family moves next door to the mansion which was the setting for the first film. And after the demon child finds the doll, the duo looks to pull some real Captain Planet shit and let their powers combine in an effort to terrorize everyone around them. Mind you, the first film was not all that well received by critics (but many horror films aren't) and the director is back for this one so if you weren't inclined to watch the first one, or did, and didn't like it, let it be known.

Fun fact: also same director as The Devil Inside. which was one of those rare movies to receive a F rating from audiences - in large part due to what was considered one of the worst endings to a movie ever.

REVIEWS

None yet! Thought the first one was slummin' it at 30% and I wouldn't expect much different here.

Rotten Tomatoes Score: TBD
(0 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you're a bit of a junkie for those jump scares and you NEED YOUR FIX NOW

(Not): creepy doll, creepy kid, doesn't matter, it's all still just that, creepy

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EMMA.

AKA
"A period. Peace."

PG / 2 hrs 4 mins

Comedy-Drama / Focus

WHAT'S THE DEAL

In One Line: A stylish update on Jane Austen's last novel about the spoiled, aristocratic, sharp tongued, match making 20 something.

I fear even bringing this up because it seems like there are only two logical responses, buuuut *heavy sigh* here we go...

Did you know Clueless, like this movie, was also based on the final Jane Austen novel Emma? Cue responses of either a)"Oh no way, really?! Interesting!" or b) "Uh, no doi. Everybody knows that *eyeroll*"

I bring this up because at over 200 years old, the story of Emma doesn't seem to be getting any less fresh, just like Clueless itself. But to keep that freshness apparent, you do need some actors to bring it forth. And Anya Taylor-Joy seems like a pretty darn good choice as the match making Emma. Taylor-Joy is probably most known for her work in horror (The Witch and Split), but she also was in Thoroughbreds last year which certainly had its own acerbic wits about it.

The other freshness factor is a director directing her first feature film, Autumn de Wilde. Wilde is known for photography and music videos, an influence reviewers say is noticeable, but not overwhelming. That is to say, this doesn't seem to be an adaptation that tries to shoehorn modern language into old settings a la Apple TV+'s Dickinson.

So if you're down for a story you may know, but told in a way you haven't quite seen it done before, then Emma might be your weekend date - but not like that. As if.

Note: also stars Bill Nighy (from a bunch of stuff, but Love Actually maybe most memorably for Americans) as Emma's father.

REVIEWS

Anya Taylor-Joy getting a good amount of love for splitting the difference between meddling / aloof and showing the good person underneath.

"A largely faithful and unchallenging adaptation, beautifully staged and sharply acted by a cast adept at balancing wit and romance." - Caryn James, Hollywood Reporter

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88%
(68 reviews @ publish)

WHO'S IT (NOT) FOR?

For: you love the outfits, the social commentary, the hoity toityness, the love stories, you love it all

(Not): you ain't on that old shit (and old to you is anything over six months ago)

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ALREADY IN THEATERS + BOX OFFICE
(*4-Day Holiday Weekend* /
Domestic Total - $ = millions)

1) Sonic the Hedgehog ($70) NEW
Blue blur gets his own movie (franchise?)
64% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

2) Birds of Prey ($19.7 / $62)
Harley Quinn spinoff of Suicide Squad
80% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

3) Fantasy Island ($13.8) NEW
Horror version of old TV show
10% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

4) The Photograph ($13.3) NEW
Romance w/ Lakeith Stanfield & Issa Rae
73% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

5) Bad Boys for Life ($13.1 / $183)
Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, they back
78% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

6) 1917 ($9.4 / $146)
WW I one shot
89% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

7) Jumanji: The Next... ($6.8 / $307)
Further in video game hijinks
71% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

8) Parasite ($6.6 / $44)
Oscar Best Picture winner 2020
99% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

9) Dolittle ($6.1 / $72)
Robert Downey Jr. can talk to animals
16% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

10) Downhill ($5.1) NEW
Remake of Force Majeure
39% RT - Trailer - Showtimes

THE INVISIBLE MAN

Takes the well known character and flips it into a horror movie about an abusive and possessive ex.

WATCH THE TRAILER

CUT THROAT CITY
April 10, 2020

Heist / drama film directed by RZA from Wu-Tang Clan (he's directed a couple other movies, including 2012's The Man With the Iron Fists) about people trying to survive in the 9th ward of New Orleans after Katrina. Co-stars a bunch of names, including: T.I., Ethan Hawke and Terrence Howard.

PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR

THE PERSONAL HISTORY
OF DAVID COPPERFIELD

May 8, 2020

A cheeky take on the Charles Dickens novel starring Dev Patel (and a bunch of other great actors) as Copperfield. Directed by Armando Iannucci who created Veep. Looks hilarious and reviews say it is.

PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR

THE GREEN KNIGHT
May 29, 2020

Dev Patel again (don't mind that)! This time in a retelling of the Arthurian story. Looks to have some fantasy elements. Co-stars Alicia Vikander and Joel Edgerton. Directed by (no, not Robert Eggers) David Lowery who made Pete's Dragon, Old Man & a Gun and Ghost Story.

PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR

What's In Theaters +

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