Globes, schmobes, I want them Cubes. 🔲

Mar 03, 2021

"Now Sid, don't you blame the movies.
Movies don't create psychos.
Movies make psychos more creative!"

PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.

Unnecessary "Industry Bullshit" Alert! So the Golden Globes ceremony was Sunday. I watched, not of my own desire, but also not under duress (but kinda?). I like jokes, especially when they're funny and take the piss out of things that need the piss taken out of them - see: the Globes themselves. But there was some slight dissonance watching hosts and people accepting the awards rag on those giving said awards (ie the Hollywood Foreign Press Association). Some fair points to be made for sure (the 87 or so member HFPA apparently doesn't have any black journalists - it does have some non-white members), but just a bit weird when the punches are coming from inside the machine. I dunno, I get it's complicated and ignoring them probably doesn't really work (but maybe it does?? Especially if something else takes their place...).

If you don't care at all about the above and want some award winners (or you do and you still do), here are some notable winners: Chadwick Boseman (Best Actor, Drama) for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, Andra Day (Best Actress, Drama) for The United States vs Billie Holiday, and Nomadland for Director (Chloé Zhao) and Best Drama.

Oh, and in total silliness, one of this week's features, Minari, was nominated for best "Foreign" Language Picture, which, even though it won, caused a row (quite fairly, I think). A reminder that the United States does not have an official language.

If you're curious about the full list.

(from top, left to right)

Minari: Minari follows a young couple who emigrate from South Korea to the United States, and after some time sex-separating baby chicks (yes, that's an actual thing) in California, we join them and their two adorable children as they move into their new home - it has wheels! - in Arkansas for the chance at a better life.

But to describe Minari based on plot alone is to describe a movie that feels way "smaller" than it actually is. And while movies are often talked about in size (guilty 🙋‍♂️see: uh, above), it often does them a disservice. Just because a story isn't about saving the world from nuclear weapons or super-strong nihilistic raisins, doesn't mean it should be diminutized. In fact, Minari's metaphorical size could in fact be far greater than any space epic, as it's really three movies in one: it's a movie about immigrants, it's a movie about "America," and ultimately, it's a movie about family. The latter's universality will make it affecting for most, but it's also a movie that builds empathy for those of us who may not be quite as close to the roots of our family's earthly travels and travails. It's also a true story, or at least based on one, as writer / director Lee Isaac Hung pulled from his own family's time farming in the Ozarks.

It should be called out that this is a movie set in the 80's, with an Asian family moving to Arkansas... So while the movie isn't explicitly about race, its presence is unavoidable, both within the movie and in the film's culture context. Steven Yeun (from The Walking Dead), who plays the father of the family, has a high likelihood of becoming the first actor of East Asian descent to be nominated for an Oscar and it's also a movie with high visibility in an industry where Asian actors and stories are not often highly represented (yes, I know Parasite and Crazy Rich Asians, but those are exceptions, not the norm).

I guess you could say it's almost the movie equivalent of a teddy bear - it will probably make you feel warm inside, make you feel nostalgic and you'll want to wrap it in the tightest damn hug (without suffocating it of course 😅). And while Teddy Ruxpin wasn't that funny, this movie has some real knee slapping moments thanks to Grandma Soonja (Yuh-Jung Youn).

TL;DR Minari is a beautiful, way funnier than you'd imagine, at times sad and ultimately affirming story. You should watch it.

Watch On: VOD
Trailer | PG-13 | 1 hr 55 mins
Rotten Tomatoes: 98% (Certified Fressshh)

Raya and the Last Dragon: when I say this is the next big Disney movie, I have to clarify that I mean that in the old-school sense; because Disney the company owns a lot (like, a lot) of the entertainment we all consume. But when people think of a "Disney movie," I imagine they still think of all the movies from their childhood, and potentially now their kid's childhood. And that's in part because Disney has been making movies that kids (and adults 😊) enjoy for nearly a hundred years - wiiiiith some dark periods of course.

But in the best way possible, Raya and the Last Dragon is also not an old-school Disney movie. It looks to be more in the tradition of recent movies like Moana, which diversifies not only the lead character's skin color, but also the setting and story.

Raya takes place in a fantasy land called Kumandra where dragons exist, or rather, did exist. Did, because nearly all of them died fighting a crazy evil that turned many of the people in Kumandra to stone. The fighting split the land's people and they are none to friendly with each other, 500 years on. The story centers on Raya, (voiced by Kelly Marie Tran who starred in the recent Star Wars trilogy) as she tries to succeed in her father's goal of reuniting all the factions to stop the returning baddies. Along the way she'll revive the lone surviving dragon, Sisu, voiced by Awkwafina, but also a cast of others who help her with her quest (and juuust maybe her inevitable personal growth too 😎).

Reviews for the movie are some of the strongest I've seen, on par with Pixar's latest, Soul. Critics talk about how the movie is not only visually awesome, but blends heavy topics with humor and ultimately a satisfying "lesson," that doesn't feel trite. The movie's also being lauded for its voice cast, and not just for their acting, but for actually using actors of Asian descent to play characters in a world that's based on South East Asia.

One big caveat here is that Disney is doing their whole "Premier Access" thing again - same thing they did with Mulan where you have to pay $30 on top of your Disney + subscription. You can wait as it'll eventually hit the service "for free," but if you're keen, you'll have to pay. Oh, unless you want to take your fam to the theaters, cuz it is playing there as well.

Watch On: Disney + ($30 rental)
Trailer | PG | 1 hr 48 mins
Rotten Tomatoes: 96% (Certified Fressshh)

Coming 2 America: there isn't much I can say about this beyond it's a sequel 31 years "in the making," and that if you're still excited after that amount of time, you should just stop reading and watch no matter what I say next.

Btw, I used quotes on "in the making" because it really hasn't been three decades of planning. Eddie Murphy said it was supposed to be happily ever after for Prince Akeem and Lisa, but then he caught on to what he describes as the original's "cult status," (although, not sure it's fair to call it a cult movie when it was the third highest grossing movie of the year). He's also said it's the movie people most often quote back to him. Add to that a pre-Black Panther Ryan Coogler pushing a version where Michael B. Jordan would be Murphy's son looking for a wife (which Murphy didn't like because he said it seemed redundant, and, it can't be ignored, he and Hall would no longer be the focus) and finally we have ourselves a sequel.

Now, was it exactly needed? Not in story terms, but who cares? As mentioned, the first one was a legit hit and Murphy seems to be trying to do a bit of a comeback (he started well with 2019's Dolemite Is My Name). It's also fair to point out this was a movie, where nearly every cast member was black, that the entire country seemed to embrace in late 80's US of A. That's still rare, so beyond being just a funny movie, it has some legit cultural presence.

As for the actual movie, Murphy and Arsenio Hall are back, both as their main characters from Zamunda, as well as all their barbershop alter egos (no, they're not immortal, just super old). The story focuses on Murphy's Akeem finding out he fathered a son who is still in NY and in line to become king, over his daughter, who kiiinda wanted to be Queen. Add to that a power hungry general (Wesley Snipes) who will take advantage of any confusion and you have a situation. But come on, it's all about the jokes, and with the original crew back (including James Earl Jones 🥰), plus a bunch of other funny people, here's hoping it lives up the OG (although with zero reviews out, I'm feeling a bit nervous...). Oh, and even though it's titled Coming 2 America, expect a lot more Zamunda in this one.

Fun Facts: Murphy originally had another actor in mind for his son while working on early drafts of the script, which was... Tracy Morgan?! Luckily, he got talked out of that cuz they're, oh, 7 years apart in age (but Morgan still got a part).

While shooting the first film, Paramount studio execs forced Murphy and Hall to cast a white character (hence Louie Anderson's role).

Do you remember that Samuel L. Jackson was in the original? I did not. And of course he uses his favorite word...

Watch On: Prime
Trailer | PG-13 | 1 hr 50 mins
Rotten Tomatoes: TBD

Highlights

Luca - Pixar's next one, set in Italy, where two boys who are also sea creatures try and have the best summer ever.

Without Remorse - Michael B. Jordan goes Jason Bourne meets Liam Neeson revenge stuff. Written by Taylor Sheridan (Sicario, Yellowstone TV show).

Bad Trip - Eric Andre and Lil Rel Howery, with help from Tiffany Haddish, do a Bad Grandpa / Borat thing where they do a bunch of bonkers pranks with / in front of real people.

Army of the Dead - Zack Snyder (director of Man of Steel and Justice League... remake? redo?) does a big zombie thing a la World War Z, but instead of trying to save the world, Dave Batista and crew are trying to rob a casino.

What's In Theaters +

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