You ready to get back in there kid?

Mar 24, 2021

"Marriage is like an unfunny, tense
version of Everybody Loves Raymond.
But it doesn't last 22 minutes.
It lasts forever."

PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.

Theaters are becoming more open. Kinda. I brought up last week how NY and LA have allowed theaters to reopen, but only at 25% capacity. Thing is, Regal, the United States' second largest chain, hasn't been open at all in many months. But they just announced this week they're opening some theaters on April 2 (next weekend) and more on April 16th.

This seems to be in part due to a deal they made with Warner Bros. about "windowing" (reminder: the time a movie has exclusivity with theaters). It doesn't take place until 2022, but it all seems to be a bit of good faith thing (Warner Bros. has Godzilla vs Kong coming out next week and Mortal Kombat on the 16th). All this would seem to be good news for theater chains, and it is. But with the good, comes the... Disney? Yup. The company had its own announcement; Cruella and Black Widow are going to debut in theaters and on Disney + on the same day - the Disney + viewing option will likely cost $30, a la the recent Raya and the Last Dragon. As with everything over the past year, no idea if this is temporary or likely to be the future, but for the moment, it is!

(from top, left to right)

Nobody: Look. You're going to have to forget about a ton of stuff to enjoy this movie. Let's start with the fact it's being released theatrically. While movie theaters are, as mentioned above, open... ish, and there's a widening hole of light on the other side of "the bullshit," (train or deliverance? tbd) it still may not sit well with people to, well, sit with other people.

Then there's the fact Nobody basically looks like John Wick except the weapons are handled by a seemingly generic traditional family man (instead of an emo puppy loving assassin) who is actually a former assassin himself- which sounds kinda cool, until we remember the two recent mass shootings, which makes it *checks calculator* *realizes calculator maxed out on numbers long ago*... let's just say it's way (way) too many.

Now that's a lot of context, but it matters, because movies are not viewed in a vacuum. But what also matters is that, despite all that, the movie is supposed to really kinda good. Sure, it's not supposed to be anything new exactly, but well orchestrated fight scenes have carried many a movie before. And speaking of, I've enjoyed countless movies where more guns are popped off than champagne bottles at a Vegas nightclub, as I'm sure many of you have too. So, to blame this movie for being too violent is maybe a bit disingenuous, when so many have come before it. But. It'll be a personal decision, and if the wrong kind of triggers are gonna be pulled while watching, it might be worth avoiding.

Note: for any internet / gaming nerds out there, Nobody was directed by Ilya Naishuller, who also directed Hardcore Henry, the first (only?) full length first person action movie.

Watch: In Theaters (!!!)
Trailer | R | 1 hr 32 mins
Rotten Tomatoes: 87%

Tina: Growing up in the 80's and 90's, my most significant touchpoint for Tina Turner was her acting as a complete badass in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Turns out, she wasn't acting. But Turner's ability to pivot from an extremely abusive (physically and mentally) relationship to becoming one of the biggest selling artists of all time is well known. On the surface at least.

Because the public's perception is just that, its perception. The reality is far more nuanced, and this doc looks to try to add some layers of depth to our understanding. It's often easy to see someone come out on the other side of struggle and praise them for their perseverance, but gloss over the actual issues they were facing. Or worse yet, focus on them ad nauseam. This movie seems to be trying to shift that narrative a bit, showing how Turner isn't some superhero, she's a human who experienced trauma, which still effects her today, at 81 years old.

In short, Tina Turner may be a badass, but she's a human badass. So watch if you're curious to learn more about the former, so you can appreciate the latter.

Watch: On HBO Max
Trailer | NR | 1 hr 58 mins
Rotten Tomatoes: 96% (Certified Fressshh)

Bad Trip: If you know who Eric Andre is, you have a pretty good idea of what's to come if you hit that play button. If you don't know who Eric Andre is, I'm, uh, I'm not sure I can really explain. But I'll try.

Andre has been hosting a long running "talk show" on Adult Swim where he doesn't interview celebrity guests, so much as try to make them extremely uncomfortable for the purposes of humor (see: his infamous Lauren Conrad interview - part 2 is only for those with a strong stomach). He also does pranks like this, and this. I think they're often pretty hilarious. However, I fully understand why someone may not only not enjoy them, but run away in horror, disgust, anger, D) all of the above.

With Bad Trip, Andre is finally getting a chance at bringing his "thing" (yes, meant in all the possible meanings) to a wider audience. Is that good for society as a whole? Ummmm.

While Andre and his cohorts Lil Rel Howery and Tiffany Haddish could've just compiled all their pranks into a mashup a la Jackass, they went the Bad Grandpa route and created a narrative with it. Does the story matter? Prolly not. But it may add a bit of cohesion to the many situations you're sure as hell not going to want to watch with the ol' moms and pops. Considered yourself warned.

Watch On: Netflix
Trailer | R | 1 hr 24 mins
Rotten Tomatoes: TBD

Highlights

WeWork: or the Making and Breaking of a $47 Billion Unicorn - hell of a title. Doc on the rise and fall (stumble? they are still around and planning another shot at going public) of the now infamous co-working company.

What's In Theaters +

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