Would you kindly please come yonder?

Apr 21, 2021

PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.

Not much to say up here except that the Oscars are this weekend. If you wanted to try and watch all eight best pictures nominees before the show, you can get a little refresher from .

I don't have a favorite per se (movies are different!), but I'd say the ones I liked the best were Promising Young Woman, Minari, Mank and Nomadland. Not necessarily in ranked order. Still need to catch The Father though.

Ok, onto the new stuff!

(from top, left to right)

Mortal Kombat: Like its Warner Bros. brethren, Godzilla vs. Kong, Mortal Kombat is a movie where you know exactly what you're going to get. I mean hell, akin to what I did with G vs K, I could've described a dismembering, tossed in a light decapitation and been like "Soooo, yay / nay?" But I'm not going to do that, in part because it'd be a bit too derivative, but also cuz the studio essentially did it for me by releasing the first seven minutes of the movie. But what I did do, is create this handy dandy flowchart (of sorts) to determine if MK is right for you. Off you go.

Do you enjoy wanton violence?

No ---> AVOID!
Yes ---> keep reading you sick bastard

What is Mortal Kombat?

A lifelong battle with ones internal self ---> AVOID!

A violent video game whose gruesome "fatalities" instigated congressional hearings? ---> indeed, keep reading button masher

Who's your favorite OG character?

Johnny Cage ---> AVOID! (he ain't in it bro, also, seriously??)

Anyone but Johnny Cage ---> I mean, it's like choosing to not get punched in the face, but sure, good work (and keep reading)

Are you ready for a "grounded take" that is mostly fan pandering, er, service and special effects that make the 1995 original movie look as bad as the 1993 video game does when compared to the PS5 one?

I may still be comfortable with a bit of barbarism, but I am an adult now and would like a humanistic take on the... ---> ya ya ya, AVOID!

Toasty! ---> See this movie!!!

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters & HBO Max
The Trailer | 1 hr 50 mins | R | 🍅: 65%

Cowboys: this movie is a simple story about complicated issues. Troy (Steve Zahn) and Sally (Jillian Bell) - more known for their comedic endeavors, but who got a ton of love for the commitment and depth of their acting here - live in Montana and are parents to a young girl, Joe (Sasha Knight). But, as Joe eventually informs them, he is actually a boy. The parents, already struggling in their marriage, react differently to the news from their trans son, with Troy accepting the information quite quickly, but the more conservative Sally balks at the revelation. When the couple breaks up, Sally gains full custody of Joe, but continues to push against her son's identity.

Joe eventually asks his father, who has his own (mental health) issues, to help him abscond, and Troy agrees to - which may be a reprieve from an unsettled home but, as the law sees it, is also kidnapping. The duo escape to the mountains, with a hazy plan from Troy to reach the Canadian border, all while eating beans, farting and being chased by cops. It's being called a "western," in part because it's set in the west (duh) and it has an outlaw feel, but John Wayne solidifying masculine stereotypes this ain't.

You'll get a sense when you watch the trailer, but it looks like a lovely movie that treats the issues at hand with understanding and empathy vs preachiness or shame. And while you can imagine the ending, I feel like there's some adage about journeys and destinations. I don't know bout all that, I just know you should probably consider giving it a watch.

Out  Friday
Watch  VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 23 mins | NR | 🍅: 93%

Night of the Kings: In a massive leap from the mountains of Montana, we find ourselves in an inmate ruled prison (La Maca) on the west end of Côte d'Ivoire, aka Ivory Coast, where director Philippe Lacôte tells a story within a story (within a story?).

The overarching yarn being spun is that of a new prisoner, dubbed Roman by his fellow captives, who is forced to tell a tale over the course of a single night, or face death. He weaves a narrative that incorporates elements of Ivory Coast's recent political and social struggles, as well as that of machinations happening, in real time, within La Maca itself. Because, as mentioned, the prison is ultimately ruled by its captives, but their leader, Blackbeard, is in waning health and his younger rivals are (power) hungry. So while the focus may be on Roman, the real action is happening on the periphery.

The movie looks beautiful, ambitious and confusing all at once, which ultimately makes it intriguing (at least to me!). I wouldn't expect a traditional moviegoing experience if you plan on watching, but I would plan on an experience.

Out Now
Watch VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 33 mins | R | 🍅: 98%

NOTABLES
(from top, left to right)

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - teaser for the next big Marvel movie, and the first with an Asian lead (played by Simu Liu from the Canadian TV show Kim's Convenience). Also stars Awkwafina.

Annette - no, not Bening (but do love her). Instead, get ready for an odd looking musical / love story with Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard, from French director Leos Carax. Note: it's the French trailer because the movie is opening Cannes.

Werewolves Within - basically a movie version of the game Werewolf (although technically based on a video game of the same name), with a bunch of actors / comedians you know.

What's In Theaters +

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