TBD

Apr 28, 2021

"TBD"

PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.

The Oscars were the lowest rated ever. Oh noez! But they've been trending that way for a long time. So, same ol' same ol' really. Then again, there were some (good) changes in who was nominated and which company won the most awards (Netflix - though not the big ones).

So, same same, but different?

(from top, left to right)

The Mitchells vs the Machines: The critical marker of a successful animated movie is often that it can pull double duty, engage the booger eaters, sorry, kids, without making the accompanying adults want to pour hot butter onto their eyes instead of the popcorn. Which, sure, that is a fairly noble goal. But just because something is animated by hand or computer (we got both here!), has a bit of whimsy or say, engenders itself to audiences with an adorable dog character that looks like this, doesn't mean it needs to be treated differently than "real" movies, ie live action.

"But that's just like, your opinion man." Fair. But it's one I plan on holding onto until I trip into my grave. "Jeeeez, morbid much?" My point is, I encourage you not to discount this movie merely because it's animated. I'm not saying it's going to be your new fav of all time - Shawshank is (probably) safe -  but based on the reviews, there's a good chance you'll burn a chunk of calories chortling your way through Netflix's (by way of Sony) latest.

Hell, you may even come away feeling like your own family ain't so bad after all. That's because the titular Mitchell's are "the worst family ever." Or, that's at least what Katie Mitchell (voiced by Broad City's Abbi Jacobson) thinks. All she's trying to do is get away from her dad (voiced by Danny McBride) and make movies at film school. He's a bit of a luddite and thinks Katie, as well as the rest of the family, are too distracted by technology. So in hopes of reconnecting, he "offers" to drive Katie to college, the rest of the family in tow. Yup, the dog too. In parallel, robots are setting up to take over the world and somehow, the Mitchell's end up as humanities last stand. If this feels like it could be kinda bland, preachy even, I point you to the reviews, but also to the fact it was produced by Chris Lord and Phill Miller, responsible for 2018's dope Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as well as The Lego Movie and 21 / 22 Jump Street. So expect a ton of references as well as a solid emotional base to accompany your chortling.

Oh, and the dog, don't forget the dog (which is based on and voiced by this real dog!).

Out  Friday
Watch  Netflix
The Trailer | 1 hr 54 mins | PG | 🍅: 96%

About Endlessness: The next guaranteed box office smash from the director of the blockbuster hit, A Pigeon Sat On a Branch Reflecting On Existence. 😅

Ok, so movies about forthright existentialism are not going to be taking away $$$ from America's preferred genre of aggressively violent action movies (example: below). But maybe tossing in moments of thoughtful contemplation of what it is to be human, in-between the watching of bullets piercing baddies' domes, could idk, make us all chill out a little more? Appreciate the little things and realize that life is one big shrug emoji, full of amazing wonders, big and small, as well as crushing sorrow, personal and societal, all to be appreciated equally.

Now, if reading all this makes you want to bury a bullet in my dome, I get it. But let me first just say, please don't. And second, really, don't, I have so many browser tabs still left to read. Instead, maybe just check out the trailer, see what there is to see. It's gonna feel a bit... off, but then you might even feel yourself getting pulled in. Intrigued even. Who knows, you may even find yourself, 76 minutes later, chillin on a branch next that pigeon. 🤷‍♂️

Out  Now!
Watch  VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 16 mins | R | 🍅: 92%

Without Remorse: The official title for this movie is Tom Clancy's Without Remorse. Which is clearly signaling to the author's fans it's something they should pay attention to - even though it's based on the book with the same title. Which makes the move feel almost, thirsty?? In fact, this whole movie feels a bit thirsty - and not in the way you're used to when something involves Michael B. Jordan.

If you watch/ed the trailer, you can see Jordan clearly committed to the role, almost to the point you wonder if he overcommitted. And by that I mean, the movie around him looks like it quite doesn't match up to his performance, which is a bummer, because Jordan is taking on a role that has been the hallmark of 80s / 90s white guys, so it's kinda cool he's pulling the Tom Clancy world into the modern era - except also kinda not (see: Zee Russians, violence for violence sake etc.)?

I bring all this up knowing that this is the type of movie that it kinda doesn't matter, if you're in the mood for an action movie, and you've already seen Godzilla vs Kong and already streamed all the just ok Netflix action movies, this one is next up. But I'm also bringing this up to forewarn you that, yeah, the production value is going to be high, but, according to reviews, the narrative coherence is likely to be frustratingly low.

But if you're a Tom Clancy fan, or just hankering for a movie version of a dude bro lifting in the gym grunting whaaat! whaaaat! Drink up I say! Drink up! 💦

Out  Friday
Watch  Prime
The Trailer | 1 hr 49 mins | R | 🍅: 53%

NOTABLES
(from top, left to right)

West Side Story - Spielberg takes on the beloved musical

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It - ie The Conjuring 3, but also like the 8th (so far!) in the "universe" spawned by the first Conjuring.

Luca - full trailer for Pixar's next, which is bypassing theaters entirely and going straight to Disney + (slightly bummed about that).

What's In Theaters +

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