"I don't have a skull... or bones."
PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.
So Amazon did the damn thing. And while much of the discussion is about the flashy properties like Bond, Jeff Bezos said the play is for MGM's deep library (was it all helpful that MGM owns the rights to the TV show The Apprentice - including the the "outtakes" - to Bezos sometimes nemesis Mr. D Trump? I mean, no, probably not. But even so, will anything come of that? Dunno. Would it be fun if so? Uh. Duh.). Now, does this mean Amazon will put more effort into making their menu system less ugly? Probably not. Would it be awesome if they did? Uh. Duh.
In maybe a much lesser mentioned, but still really interesting streaming development, Netflix is releasing three movies, three Fridays in a row. They're all in a series based on the Fear Street books from R.L. Stine. The trio of movies were made by one director (Leigh Janiak) and from as far as I can tell, this is the first time this has ever happened in this manner. The closest analogy, while still being quite different, is The Matrix sequels that were released the same year (May and November) in 2003. Now, the budgets are clearly different, as are the public interest, but this is still really cool (IHMO) and I think points to the flexibility, and risk taking ability, Netflix has. Sure, it's somewhat akin to releasing three two hour episodes, but based on the fact each of the movies is set in different eras, logistically it's probably quite different. People often talk about how much Netflix spends and how they just have more content, but one of their strongest assets I think is experimentation.
(from top, left to right)
A Quiet Place Part II: "pssssttt pssstt! over here. yeah you. now, don't say anything, but I think there's a nasty creature that wants to terror your face off if you so much as yawn."
Are these the kinds of conversations we can expect to see in the continuation of the Abbott family journey, now that they set off into the (un)known world and meet other hoomans? Well, "conversations" is maybe a stretch. Hushed and hurried asides is more likely, as those left from the family try and figure out what to do next. I'm hedging a bit here, because there are plenty of spoilers if you haven't seen the first AQP. If you haven't, I highly recommend you do. It's an excellent horror movie that combines an actual caring for the characters and legit scary shit - most of which is watching people not try and be loud. Ya know, like your 16 year old self while you sneak back back home at 2 am. Except here, instead of a cold stare and a potential tongue lashing, you'll be gutted and your face while be made to look like it was pressed into an active Vitamix if you make too much noise. 😀
Now, to be honest, you probably already know what's goin on here, the first movie was a huge hit. Only thing you wanna know is, is the second one as good as the first? Well, reviews are strong (see below). It's maybe not quite a novel as the initial entry (and may suffer from a bit of franchise"itest"), but yeah, it's apparently quite good and you should prepare for undesired urinating. 💦
Maybe the most interesting aspect is that Paramount, the studio releasing AQP2, kept the movie for a theatrical release instead of pawning it off, ahem, partnering with Amazon to give it a streaming release (as they did with Coming 2 America, Without Remorse). But it makes sense. The first movie made a lot of money, and this is the exact kind of movie you want to see in the theater. Well, mostly see, considering the amount of hands that are bound to be covering giddily fearful faces.
Out Friday
Watch Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 37 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 92%
Cruella: the term "origin story," when in the context of movies, is most often used in conjunction with superheros. Makes sense. You're curious to know how this amazingly capable savior of babies and old people came to be able to swing through skyscrapers or toss hammers better than a college bro at a cornhole comp. But how about an origin story for a rich, greedy woman who wants to skin, not just dogs, but puppies (their fur is softer!) for clothing. And it's... a Disney movie? Ooookkkk.
But if you squint hard enough (like literally close your eyes), you can kinda sorta imagine a backstory where the canine hating Ms De Vil is just misunderstood. But really, it doesn't matter, the movie is here and we're talking about, so let's move on.
Emma Stone gets the right to don the clothing that reviews say could almost be the reason to see the movie. Well, that and Stone's tête-à-tête with another Emma. Ms Thompson if you're nasty. And oh does she look nasty. Emma T plays the Miranda Priestly to Stone's Andy <-- this is a Devil Wears Prada reference. But the comparisons don't stop at toxic workplaces, as both movies are also set in the world of fashion. Though Cruella's setting is a stodgy 70's England, where Stone as De Vil is just trying to make her way, but with Thompson cutting (literally and figuratively) her way through her charges' work, inspiring fear and rage. Namely De Vil's.
Reviews can be described as "just good enough," with, as mentioned, a lot of emphasis on the style and wardrobe. If you're likely to get hung up on the "why the hell does this movie even exist?" question, you're not likely to come away with a satisfied feeling, but if you can shrug your shoulders and enjoy the show, seems like you should have a decent enough time.
Out Friday
Watch Theaters & Disney +
The Trailer | 2 hrs 14 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 70%
Riders of Justice: bad people murder someone, but wait, *in best trailer voiceover voice* they killed the wrong person, cuz dead person's family member is, a highly trained killer and wants reeeee-venge. Seen it! Been there! Watched that! Hell, we just had one of these a few weeks ago in Jason Statham's Wrath of Man.
Lucky (depending on perspective) for us, Riders of Justice isn't that movie. Now, family members do die in the movie, and there is a hardened killer, but it's all setup for a black comedy about the randomness of life and our desire to find meaning in it all. Oh, did I mention the movie is Danish (note: foreign language alert)? Those Scandinavians, so damn cerebral. 🧠
Mad Mikkelsen, most recently in the Oscar winning Another Round, makes another interesting role choice (the dude has a very high success rate of choosing quality movies) as the hardened killer, who comes back from Afghanistan after his wife is killed in (and his daughter barely escaping) a horrific subway... accident? Another man on the same train doesn't think it was, and along with two other friends / nerds, convinces Mikkelsen of the same notion such that they go out trying to create their own justice. But the titular "Riders" they ain't, that's the gang the four are trying to make pay.
While Mikkelsen plays someone accustom to death, but unable to process it emotionally and thus emotionally shut down, the three other men are goofy eccentrics who have no business taking on a violent gang, but do so anyway. The four of them, along with Mikkelsen's daughter, form a bit of a weirdo family bent on retribution. So needless to say, and yet saying it, expect it to be a bit "heightened" in its tone, but that should also help set it apart from other revenge flicks.
Out Now
Watch VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 56 mins | R | 🍅: 94%
NOTABLES
(from top, left to right)
Last Night in Soho - from Edgar Wright (Baby Driver, Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim), it's a very vibey modern / 60's styled psychological thriller (Hitchcockian almost?) - with Anya Taylor Joy (Queen's Gambit), Matt Smith (Doctor Who) and Thomasin McKenzie (Jojo Rabbit).
False Positive - a weird, but potentially fun one. Ilanna Glazer (Broad City) and her husband Justin Theroux do IVF, with help from doctor Bond (Pierce Brosnan), but shit starts to get weird. Almost Rosemary's Baby with quirk?? And a quick check on Wikipedia and yup, it's "a contemporary take" on the 60's classic.
The Tomorrow War - I'm highlighting this in part because it's a "big movie" (Amazon bought it from Paramount for a reported $200 million) and you're sure to see it plastered on Prime and elsewhere. But otherwise? I mean, it just looks bland. Chris Pratt does his Pratt stuff, but sorta subdued. Idk, I'd like it to be good, but...
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