Aloha 🌴
"You want for me to put
peanut butter cups in your eggs?"
PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.
I'm coming at you a bit late (although a lot later than intended due to the internet refresh monster wiping away my first attempt), cuz I'm a bit behind - literally. I'm somewhere in the Pacific, but I'll let you guess where.
And since I'm traveling, I'm keeping the descriptions short this week, and using a theme to help me do so. I'm framing each movie through the lens of a couple's date night. Why? I don't really know to be honest. 🤷♂️
But if you like it, lemme know!
(from top, left to right)
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It: third in the core series of movies (which many say are seeing diminishing returns) that spawned a horror franchise, but you don't really care about all that, you just want it to scare you so you and your co-watcher can tease each other saying "you were more scared" "no, you were more scared!" as you giggle and tickle each other on the way back to the car - and where the answer to the debate is likely highly correlated to who is more susceptible to jump scares.
Out Friday
Watch Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 52 mins | R | 🍅: 66%
The Killing of Two Lovers: the movie you suggest watching on a second date so you can seem interesting and deep, cuz reviews said it was difficult, yet rewarding, but then the story of a marriage on the brink gets a lot deeper into the shit than you thought it was gonna get and you end up having difficult conversations that will determine if a third date really is warranted.
Out Now
Watch VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 25 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 93%
Spirit Untamed: a movie fit for not so much of a date night, as a nap for a couple that can't remember how long they've been together due to the lack of sleep over the last year and a half, and this 90 minutes in the darkness with the monsters, er, kids occupied is really needed, so if you could just shut up how the media entertaining their child is just a retread of a movie based on a tv series, which is itself based on a movie, because we could care less about all that, we're just trying to get some sleep he.... 😴😴
Out Friday
Watch Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 28 mins | PG | 🍅: 45%
The Water Man: the movie that's for a family date night, the kind where you get the whole crew at home, make some popcorn, curl up on the couch together and watch the first movie directed by (and starring) actor David Oleyowo - which follows a boy dealing with his sick mother and his efforts to save her through fantastical methods - and as the wonder washes over your kids' faces, you look at each other lovingly and remember why you decided to have them in the rascals in the first place.
Out Now
Watch VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 32 mins | PG | 🍅: 77%
NOTABLES
(from top, left to right)
Old - the next "wtf is happening??" from M. Night. Takes place on a beach where people age incredibly fast, but they can't escape.
Ailey - doc on the dancer / choreographer who started the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater modern dance company, which gave opportunities for Black dancers in the late 50's and went on to become one of the most respect dance companies out of NY.
Jungle Cruise - second trailer for the movie w/ The Rock and Emily Blunt that kinda sorta looks like a Pirates of the Caribbean reboot, but like, not?
Infinite - Mark Wahlberg, being Mark Wahlberg, doing Mark Wahlberg action movie stuff.
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