Nostalgia ain't what it used to be

Jun 16, 2021

"Why don't you knock it off
with them negatives waves?"

PINNED: this newsletter is supposed to be a friendly recapping of the movies in, and coming to, theaters. But things be real weird right now. So until that changes in earnest, I'll either be suggesting old favorites to revisit, pointing out recent flicks you may have missed or calling out notable new VOD / streaming options.

Well, I wrote about happiness last week, but there wasn't a ton of it at the box office for In the Heights or Peter Rabbit 2. The latter is fairly understandable as the original wasn't a massive hit and expectations weren't huge. But Heights had the benefit of excellent reviews, solid post-"the bullshit" timing, Hamilton association and being based on a successful Broadway show. And yet.

There's the obvious consideration of whether the fact it was also available on HBO Max played a part, but a quote from a Warner Bros. exec seems to confirm that's likely not the case.

“Our experience, which is backed up on ‘In the Heights,’ is that if the movie hits a high level in theaters, it hits a high level on the service,” Goldstein told the outlet. “If it hits a low level in theaters, it hits a low level on HBO Max. They’re really very comparable.”

Ie demand is demand, no matter where it gets satisfied, and Heights just didn't seem to have the demand. Maybe it's a slow build, but that's not often the case for movies. With as much "data" is out there and avenues to reach people, studios still have to give people what they want, and that's (still) a hard damn business.

Speaking of hard businesses, Netflix is doin the fashion thing. They launched a merch shop which has a bunch of collabs with designers who I imagine they hope will transfer some of their cool. Check it out.

(from top, left to right)

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard: When the trailer was released for Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, I joked the only reason they made it was to capture the record for the movie title with the most possessive apostrophes. Which is clearly stupid. And then I read the reviews... Now none of them confirmed that "theory," but they didn't bring evidence forward to render it debunked either. Sooooo. All I'm saying is, it's technically on the table. Which could actually help some people understand why the movie exists. Because those reviews I mentioned? Yeah, they're pretty bad. But they're bad in the, "these super likeable actors deserve better" sorta way. Which gets at a critical point, all three stars of this movie are very enjoyable to watch do their thing. And for plenty of people, watching Ryan Reynolds toss quips faster than Samuel L. Jackson can drop f-bombs as Selma Hayek shoots off her own mouth (and semi-automatic weapons) as she tries to jump Jackson's bones in front of Reynolds, could be enough. Because I think that will have to be enough, as critics say the action is generally of the inanely over the top sort, and the plot is knowingly laughable.

So basically you watch this movie to watch some actors you really like do their - and I say this with love - shtick, or you watch to say you've watched the movie that holds the record for the most possessive apostrophes in its title ever*.

Decisions. We all have to make 'em.

*I actually have no idea if this is true. But are you gonna do the research?

Out  Today!
Watch  Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 39 mins | R | 🍅: 26%

Luca: Luca is a Pixar movie. And after dozens (teeeechnically Luca is #24) of movies from the gifted NorCal based storytellers, many of which have become cinematic classics, that should mean something. And what it means, is the choice of whether to watch this movie or not, should be an easy one.

Because when someone, or something, does what they do, so well, for so long, you start to trust them. And while it's not being written about as the best of the Pixar best (some tight competition up there), you can feel pretty secure this next one from the Disney subsidiary won't break that bond.

But it also probably won't break new forms of storytelling, as reviews say it's a beautiful and delightful coming-of-age story that reinforces the notion of being comfortable with differences - your own and others. Not necessarily revelatory. Although, to be fair, one's own differences don't usually involve being a sea "monster" in a world full of humans, which is what Luca revolves around. If it sounds a tad Little Mermaid"ish," it should, because it does. But instead of seeking out a romantic partner, it's more about seeking out yourself. And when the setting is a mid 1900's Italian ocean town that's realized by the dope Pixar animation team, yeah, movie watching could be worse. A lot worse.

Out  Friday
Watch  Disney +
The Trailer | 1 hr 35 min | PG | 🍅: 92%

The Dry: remember Eric Bana? Oh. You never forgot him? Well that means you're just like the people in the small town Bana returns to in The Dry. Well, maybe not "just like," considering people in the dusty local are suspicious, stressed out and potentially murderous. Then again, I don't know you, even if I actually know you. Because I'm not sure we can ever really know each other. Ya know?

Thoughts like these will put you right in the mood for this Australian set crime-thriller that's based on a book, because of course it is. The book was apparently well liked by readers and critics for its story of Aaron Falk (Bana), a federal agent who left his rural home for urban life after he was involved in what I'll call The Old Incident, as a teen (a female friend died under "curious" circumstances whilst swimming w/ Falk and another friend). Another sorrowful event, The New Incident, brings Falk back, and it involves that other friend from The Old Incident. It seems straight forward to most, but Falk is just as sus about the situation as the townspeople are of him, and they don't take kindly to the big city man's reappearance and all his digging around in their business; they make sure to let him know it too.

If this feels a bit like many a TV show on the streamies right now, I'd have to concur. The benefit here is the reviews say the quality is solid, especially Bana's acting, and you won't have to wait 8 episodes to figure who did the thing - because yes, journey vs destination blah blah blah, but seriously, lemme know who did the damn thing already. Amma right? With The Dry, you should get all the nasty glares, all the scary looking men and (most) of the answers in < 2 hours. Just in time for you to start the next who dun did it.

Out  Now
Watch  VOD
The Trailer | 1 hr 58 mins | R | 🍅: 90%

NOTABLES
(from top, left to right)

The Loneliest Whale - doc on a whale that may (or may not) have lived its entire life in the oceans alone, due to its unique communication pattern.

Gunpowder Milkshake - big ol' gunfight fest where Karen Gillan (Marvel movies) gets help from some other assassins, including her ol' moms (Lena Headey from GoT) to help protect an 8 year old from other assassins. Kinda like a poppier John Wick? /shrug

The Eyes of Tammy Faye - Jessica Chastain and Andrew Garfield portray the Christianity touting couple that ultimately faltered.

What's In Theaters +

Discussion about this post