TBD

Aug 18, 2021

"No. You stay alive. If they don't kill you,
they'll take you north, up to Huron land.
Submit, do you hear?"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

No real column this week as I had to play my own game of reminiscence after I lost most of the email in a game of "technology sucks." Get back to it next week.

Extra Credit: there's a couple other movies coming out I didn't highlight, including: the Jason Mamoa Netflix thriller Sweet Girl which looks like it could be a Steven Segal movie, if it wasn't as woke.

And anyone who is going to see it, I don't really need to remind them, cuz their kids already have, but there's a PAW Patrol movie coming out. Don't have kids? Don't worry about it.

(from top, left to right)

REMINISCENCE: You could've called this movie Rememory or Recallerization, but that woulda sounded silly. Cuz those aren't real words. And reminiscence is (I think?) so therefore it's... uh, I guess less silly? To be honest, I'm not sure what the thought was here with the title as it's not the easiest word to say or text (as I mistype it for the 17th time). So let's just call it the Hugh Jackman memory movie. Cuz that's what it is. It's also a sci-fi-climate-change-warning-dystopian-nor directed by Lisa Joy - who co-created HBO's Westworld with her husband Jonathan Nolan (yes, brother to Christopher).

The sci-fi aspect is mostly fulfilled by the machine that Jackman's character (a bit of a private investigator) uses to help people relive past events. Although oddly, not everyone seems to playback that time they told off the bully in 4th grade. 🤷‍♂️But why are people looking back on that nostalgic tip vs doing their best Ariana Grande impression you may ask? Weeell, that's where the climate change / dystopian parts come in, as we splash down in Miami which has not faired well in the near future, what with the whole rise in sea levels thing (portended to be quite accurate, unfortunately). A situation which has people all forlorn and thus brings us to that noir bit; solidified by Rebecca Ferguson playing a femme fatale lounge singer with a past shrouded in mystery. Yes, for real.

Expect corrupt cops, ne'er do well rich people, switchback upon switchback of plot revelations, and somewhat heavy handed narration filled with platitudes. But while reviews do say the initial concept is interesting, the movie has craft, good actors, they also say all that ultimately doesn't add up to something that's worth *ahem* remembering. But if you're still intrigued, and you have a Max subscription (or your ex's password) feel free to give it a shot.

Although if you do choose to watch and end up not being a fan, make sure to take the advice of a couple of brothers that have been arguing for more than three decades and don't look back in anger.

Vibe: "yeah, see here, tell me where the dame is or I'll pop ya here wit dis here six shooter, yeah" x Hugh Jackman sci-fi action thriller

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters & HBO Max
The Trailer | 1 hr 56 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 48%

THE PROTÉGÉ: In the trailer for this movie, you see references to other successful action movies, e.g. "from the studio that brought you John Wick" or "from the director of Casino Royale." What they don't tell you is it's also the same studio that brought you the classics LOL, Jexi, My Little Pony: The Movie and that the director was also responsible for the giant punching bag that is Ryan Reynold's Green Lantern.

Point is, approach those associations with some trepidation.

Now, I don't think you'll actually need many outside references to determine if you'll have interest in this one since it lays everything right out there. You have a "highly trained assassin" (Maggie Q from the CW show Nikita) who is "out for vengeance." Pretty straight forward.

A couple wrinkles include her seeming antagonist, Michael Keaton, who also harbors a bit of a crush and her father figure Samuel L. Jackson (just padding his stats) who essentially adopted / "rescued" her from Vietnam (which is partly interesting in that Q is Vietnamese in ancestry and has spoken about how there's been little representation of the country outside of war movies). There's also definitely a "everything isn't as it seems" thing going on here, so factor that in.

But mostly, the 🍑 kicking.

Vibe: that John Wick assassin wannabe ish

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters Only
The Trailer | 1 hr 49 mins | R | 🍅: TBD

THE NIGHT HOUSE: Lots of people don't "do" scary movies. Whether it's the worry of possible heart palpitations, a lingering fear of the dark that forces you to grab onto any warm body as you leave the theater, or you just think they're gosh darn silly. With that said, I'm here to tell you this is a scary movie.

But I'm also here to tell you about a husband who dies by suicide, leaving his grieving wife with a brand new lake house, lingering questions, frustration and... another lake house that's an exact copy of the other except everything is reversed?! Ok ok, now we're heating up.

(The awesome) Rebecca Hall plays the wife, who thought she knew what her world consisted of, but learns she didn't have a clue. But she sure does find some after a bit of searching - like photos on her deceased husband's phone of other women that look like her, but not quite. Books that detail unsettling notions and odd ideas. Bloody footprints on the dock seemingly coming from no physical body... Yeah, there be some questions. But the only answer I'll give you is to the question of whether it all works out to be a good movie - which is yes. Reviews say Hall is basically the movie and does an extremely good job at not only keeping the fear, but but just playing a sad afraid woman, but someone with a bit of rage underneath all the grief.

So maybe if you do do (hehe) scary movies, but are trying to convince your significant other / friend / Tinder-Bumble-Match-OkCupid-Raya-*breath*-Match-FarmersOnly date, maybe pitch it as a mystery movie w/ a few scary parts.

Ya know, that whole forgiveness v permission thing.

Vibe: that slightly more cerebral version of the movie you shouldn't watch with a full bladder 💦😳

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters Only
The Trailer | 1 hr 50 mins | R | 🍅: 90%

(called out from top, left to right)

Very few trailers this week. Three to be exact. One is a weepy romance directed by Denzel Washington and starring Michael B. Jordan. It is based on a book, but not by Nicholas Sparks. Quite the contrary.

Other worth highlighting is a second trailer for the bizarre, and awesome looking The Nowhere Inn, which is a mockumentary where St. Vincent is to be followed for a concert film by her friend Carrie Brownstein, but it gets all weird. Very weird.

What's In Theaters +

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