How tall is tall?

Aug 25, 2021

"Oh, it's so fresh!"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

Story time.

A few years back I was at a family holiday party, standing around with a few people, drinking some drinks and a movie ad popped on TV. In a bit of a surprise to me, an in-law of sorts said they wanted to see this movie. I was surprised, because I remember thinking it was not something worth watching and inquired as to why. Their response?

He chortled and said in a sort of dismissive yet gleeful way, "Because it looks dumb."

Well that comment has stuck with me (clearly), not necessarily in a negative sense, but as a reminder that what I think is a "good" movie, has no ultimate bearing on what others may think about that movie. Subjectivity can be frustrating, especially when you disagree vehemently with someone over a moviegoing experience, but it's also a bit freeing. Because the more you remember that opinions may vary, you get to let go of any frustration towards dissenting opinions. Now, I'll be honest, it's an ongoing battle for me. Take one of the "Extra Credit" movies from this week, He's All That. I watched the trailer and directly after had fantasies of smashing my computer in hopes I could somehow destroy the movie before it reached any other human eyeballs such that they'd be spared of such an atrocity. And then I calmed down and remembered, hey, someone out there might not hate this, hell, they might even like it. Which, as hard as it is to imagine, is still a legitimate opinion!

So as I keep writing this newsletter, you're sure to see a bias towards certain movies that are more critically favored (pretty much as it's always been), but I bring the above up if you ever wonder why I might feature a movie whose RT score is low or just unknown at the time of publishing (often an indication it will be low).

So I guess the point is, while I generally like to highlight "good" movies, I ultimately will feature whatever the notable movies coming out that week are. And if enough aren't, hopefully there are some movies I had to pass up that I can shine a light on.

Extra Credit: as mentioned above, this week we also have Netflix's He's All That, a remake of the 90's hit She's All That, except (not) surprise!, it's gender-swapped; it stars Tiktok star Addison Rae in the Freddie Prinze Jr. role.

Rachael Leigh Cook and Matthew Lillard make some cameos, but unfortunately, no DJ Usher in sight. 😕

(from top, left to right)

CANDYMAN: Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candy... 😳

...just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you. Because even if everyone knows "he" doesn't actually appear if you look into a mirror 🪞and say his name five times, I'd bet the amount of people who'd worry about pooping their pants while doing so in the dark is shockingly high.

Which shows the lasting impact of the 1992 original film, to which this new iteration is being billed as a "spiritual sequel." But in many ways, it's an actual sequel (although it ignores the two follow ups to the OG and doesn't have the original C-man Tony Todd reprise his role - but expect a cameo). The 2021 version still takes place in the projects of Cabrini-Green, or rather, what were the projects. Because in 2019, when this one is set, Cabrini-Green is now gentrified and mostly filled with high-rises and well, lots more white people. And while the first film dealt with race, this version is even more interested in exploring that notion and the ones connected to it. Going so far as to reframe the eponymous killer as not just one man, but as a sort of representation for the trauma inflicted on Black people over many (many) years. In fact, while the killings were somewhat indiscriminate in the first movie, expect the offings to be more focused here.

This cultural dissection makes even more sense when you learn the movie was produced and co-written by Jordan Peele, whose two movies as director (Get Out and Us) have used horror effectively to convey broader themes, often involving race. Peele co-wrote the movie with director Nia DaCosta (and Win Rosenfeld), whose very well regarded first movie Little Woods took on issues surrounding income disparity and gender.

But let's not forget, this is still a slasher movie involving a man with a hook, and you can still expect it to be used to draw blood, lots of it. And you have Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (Aquaman, The Get Down) to thank for that. He plays Anthony, an artist who happens upon the urban legend as he's looking for inspiration for his next work and discovers the remnants of the old Cabrini-Green. He gets so consumed (literally) by producing his new art, honoring the unfairly judged killer that well, you'll just have to watch and see. 💀

Reviews overall are quite positive, but many of them note that the movie tries for a lot, and somewhat falters under all its ideas (and call backs to the first film) - the negative takes going so far as to say it's far too heavy handed. But overall, the movie looks to have taken a modern spin on the story, and done it successfully.

Oh! One more thing...

....Candyman. 🪝

Vibe: artistically shot horror with a message

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters Only
The Trailer | 1 hr 31 mins | R | 🍅: 88%

VACATION FRIENDS: I legitimately have no idea if this movie is going to get a Rotten Tomatoes critics score of 100% or 0%.

Ok, that's a lie.

I know it's not going to get a 100%. Or even 90%. Probably not 80% either. How about that good ol seven zero? erm....sixty?! Wouldn't hold my breath! Point is, which I'm sure you've gathered at this stage, I'm not banking on Vacation Friends being some sort of critical darling. Not many movies with jokes about cocaine being stuffed up an anus usually are. What are you gonna do?

Well if you're me, you tell people about it anyway and let them make their own damn decision (see intro!). Because ya know what, the fact this movie is coming out on Hulu makes it far easier to take a chance on. Because even if you start watching John Cena and movie wife Meredith Hagner do their best to unintentionally terrorize Lil Rel Howery and Yvvone Orji at their lovely movie wedding, and you feel like turning it off after twenty minutes? All you lost is twenty minutes (that and the likely 40 minutes you took to decide what to watch 😐).

If you're looking to me for some sort of synopsis or character breakdown, I think your best bet is the trailer. But you're here so I can say this looks like a Vince Vaughn comedy circa 2009. Cena and Hagner are the bonkers couple opposite the straight-laced couple played by Howery & Orji. They all met in Mexico, shit get wild, shit weird, shit got dangerous. But then it ended. And Howery and Orji went to get married months later in a nice little ceremony, until...

That's probably all the plot you need. What you should be concerned about is the jokes, and to be honest, Cena and Howery have been delivering in that department recently, with Suicide Squad (Cena) and Free Guy (Howery).

So no matter what the RT score ends up, my guess is you'll at least get a few good chuckles out of it.

Vibe: the kind of movie whose own marketing department used the phrase "raw and raunchy" in its byline

Out  Friday
Watch  Hulu
The Trailer | N/A | R | 🍅: TBD

(called out from top, left to right)

The yet to be trademarked (but soon to be?) Marvel Movie Madness comin at you this week.

First we have the latest (and third to use the word "home") Spider-man movie, No Way Home.

Next is the "final" trailer for the Chloé Zhao directed Eternals, which gosh darn it, at last gives us some friggen laser eyes. Been waitin for those!

Also have for you a cheeky looking thriller from Amazon where Sydney Sweeney (The White Lotus, Euphoria) and Justice Smith (Generation, Detective Pikachu) get all voyeuristic on some neighbors. It's called, um, The Voyeurs.

And why yes, that is Melissa McCarthy in a football helmet in a garden. Why? Watch the trailer for The Starling!

What's In Theaters +

Discussion about this post