TBD

Sep 09, 2021

"We're not gonna make it. People I mean.
It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
Yeah, major drag, huh."

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

We had a lot of trailers released last week. And we have a lot of trailers this week. That's fun. Cuz trailers are fun. Sometimes even more fun than what they're teasing. They're like two minutes and thirty seconds of potential.

This isn't a new thought, but trailers are essentially their own little movies with a beginning middle and end. Sometimes to the detriment of the one they're marketing as people bemoan they give too much away. But honestly, there's research that people like something more after they already know what's going to happen (see: rewatching The Office until you can recite every intro on command). Everyone reading this (and me writing it) probably disagrees with that notion, but it's out there.

Trailers aren't just fun diversions though, they are the piece(s) of a movie's campaign. I've mentioned this in the past, but what a "trailer" is to the average person is often different than what studios refer to as trailers. There are variations (announcements, teasers etc.), but to studios, it's that roughly two minutes and thirty seconds video that's the big meat. (what airs on TV are called "spots" and usually just cut downs of the trailer into 15 or 30 second pieces). So in under three minutes, most people have probably decided a particular movie's fate, at least in that personal instance. Convenient decision making.

One of the bigger projects I worked on at Paramount was predicting box office outcomes for films' opening weekends using "social data" in contrast to the traditional survey method. It was cool stuff. But one of the most interesting things to come about from doing this was that I came to understand most films' monetary destiny was essentially locked two months before release - a time when most movies had had a trailer (or two) released, but the biggest part of the marketing campaign had yet to really kick in. Now, this assumed some things, like the studio following through with their marketing campaign etc. (fair to note plenty of people may disagree with me on this). Also worth pointing out this is for theatrical releases only, streaming is different.

Point in mentioning all this is to pontificate (hi, it's me, Latham, nice to meet you), but also to try an experiment where the next time you watch a trailer (see: five minutes from now), try and mentally log what your thought was - yay or nay - and then see if if that adjusted at all in-between the time you saw it and when the movie came out. Even if you don't go see it, did that initial take change or waver (maybe something else just got in the way)? I'd be curious.

It's not to say individual people's decisions are these cemented things, but it does seem that in a larger group sense, it's hard to shift the narrative once it's been established.

Anyway, that's all for today. See ya next week.

Extra Credit Movies: Both big streamers have new movies coming out.

Netflix has Kate, another flashy assassin movie that will inevitably have John Wick bandied about in most articles written about it. Reviews are pretty bad so far, which is a bummer, cuz Mary Elizabeth Winstead is cool. But if you want some badassery gun play, now ya know.

Amazon Prime has what a few early critics have essentially called a Skinemax movie, which like, good for them; always nice to have some sweaty pulpy movies about. The Voyeurs stars Sydney Sweeny from Euphoria, and probably more importantly now, The White Lotus. Her (first?) love interest is Justice Smith from Generation, and they get into some spying on their neighbors. And like, other stuff. 🥵

(from top, left to right)

Malignant: you're thinking cancer. We're all thinking cancer. How could you not think of cancer when you hear the word "malignant." This movie is not about cancer. Although per James Wan, the director, it "actually has a fair bit of medical horror attached to it." Then again, he also said "I joke that it's like the horror version of Frozen. It really is." Tell that to a parent who has a child with a penchant for repetition and they will likely tell you no, Frozen is the horror version, of Frozen. (again mommy! again! pleeeease daddy!)

Anyway, so if Malignant isn't about the disease more people have (rightfully) told to fuck off than a New York City newbie saying hi to strangers - what is it about? Ummmm.

So they've kept this one pretty tight, the overview is essentially a sentence that boils down to "scary movie." No real reviews yet either. But a few reactions have slipped out and they're quite positive, bordering on stoked. But Wan, who has directed and created some of, if not the biggest horror franchises over the last twenty years (Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring) explains this movie as a departure from his previous ones, in that's a throwback to gorier, 80's psychological thrillers (his phrasing) vs the modern era of jump-scares he helped usher in.

What you can gather from the trailer is that a woman, Maddie, is haunted by someone, something, some(insert word here). Again, you don't really know. Which is the point, as part of the journey is to discover what "it" is. But only Maddie can see "it." And "it" is killing people - all while Maddie has to watch as if she's having night terrors. Ew.

I think the calculation here is whether you a) like movies that will have you contort your face in ways that'll make babies cry b) trust in Wan to deliver another solid horror effort, even if he says it's not like the others. I mean, he did direct Aquaman after all.

Wait, is that a good thing?

Vibe: gory thriller horror, but with a decent budget

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters & HBO Max
The Trailer | 1 hr 51 mins | R | 🍅: TBD

Queenpins: The trailer for Queenpins tickled me every so slightly when it was released, but I wrote that it's "a weird, but pretty fun looking...comedy? yeah, it's a comedy." Per reviews, this tonal dissonance is not unique to the trailer. I.e. the movie itself has a bit of a struggle figuring out what it wants to be. And as you might imagine, these led some of those same reviewers to come away with negative opinions. Which, honestly, is a bummer, not because I need this movie to be "good," but because I like a lot of the people in it. It stars Kristen Bell and Kirby Howell-Baptiste, who acted together in the last bits of The Good Place. as well as Vince Vaughn and Paul Walter Hauser (who had his breakout in I, Tonya) in a sort of competing duo. The women are the criminals, hocking stolen coupons and the men are the um, not cops, but enforcement? chasing them - Walter Hauser plays a loss prevention officer for grocery stores and Vaughn is a postal inspector. It's all very, of course this is a joke, but it's actually not, and it wasn't, as it's based on a true story. Review say the movie tries to make moral points about the activities of the women in contrast to the corporations they're essentially stealing from, but again, tonal issues.

If you're not looking to go too deep on this one and like the stars, you can take your chances in theaters, or wait a bit and soon enough it'll be on Paramount +.

Vibe: looks like a comedy, acts like a comedy, not totally a comedy - or is and just doesn't nail it

Out  Friday
Watch  Theaters Only (for now)
The Trailer | 1 hr 50 mins | R | 🍅: 43%

The Card Counter: If you're a fan of Rounders and you're all like, fuck yes, I've been waiting over 20 years for another sick-ass poker movie. I'm... sorry? Actually no, I'm not sorry, I didn't not make a poker movie just to disappoint you. Then again, neither did director Paul Schrader. One has gotta assume he's just making what he makes - which is ultimately deep introspections into twisted aspects of humanity - instead of trying to tease bros (likely now many of them bro dads) who'd rewatch Matt Damon screw over John "KGB" Malkovich in college a thousand times, always prefacing the scene with "watch this, watch this, you gotta watch this."

Mind you, there is poker in the movie, most of it played by Oscar Isaac, who stars as a man dealing with the internal aftermath of torturing people in Abu Ghraib. But the cards don't provide the joie de vivre here as they did in that 1998... classic?

What you will get instead is a focused movie about redemption, where you watch Isaac count cards in various small casinos, wrap his hotel room furniture in white sheets, remove art from the walls and journal. Sounds riveting, I know. Things do happen though; Isaac meets a "kid," Tye Sheridan, whose father served with Isaac and died by suicide. Sheridan blames a contractor - Willem Dafoe, who enforced the torturous behavior, but got away unscathed - and aims to avenge his father. The other player here is Tiffany Haddish, who wants to stake Isaac (and more?), an offer initially rebuffed, until he sees an angle to help Sheridan.

Schrader made 2017's excellent First Reformed and wrote a lot of other well known movies, including Taxi Driver, and Raging Bull. I'm not gonna lie, even with the pedigree behind it, I thought the movie looked bad from the trailer (mostly the way it's shot and odd tone switching in it), but reviews say even if it's a bit methodical, it really pays off (and they say Isaac is incredibly good as usual).

Just don't expect anyone to go tossing any Oreos.

Vibe: probably not quite as "crowd pleasing" as the trailer makes it look; think more the movie your artsy friend would like

Out  Friday
Watch  (Limited) Theaters Only
The Trailer | 1 hr 49 mins | R | 🍅: 95%

(called out from top, left to right)

As noted in the intro, lots of trailers worth a look this week, including:

The first tease of Leonardo DiCaprio in a Netflix movie, which is Adam McKay's satire about two scientists (Jennifer Lawrence is the other) trying to convince people an asteroid is gonna hit earth

The Rock, Gal Gadot and Ryan Reynolds in, well, exactly the movie you think they'd be in.

Mike Mills' next movie - very excited as 20th Century Women has become one of my favs from the past few years.

A full trailer for Edgar Wright's Last Night in Soho, which premiered in Venice and received solid, if not A+ reviews.

Jake Gyllenhaal sitting on the phone for 90 mins, which still looks interesting.

And finally Belfast, a Kenneth Branagh written / directed black and white movie about the city in the 60's and turbulent times they were - although you'd never guess it from the tone!

What's In Theaters +

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