Friends don't let friends...

Nov 04, 2021

"What kind of host invites you to his house
for the weekend and dies on you."

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

There is no spoon.

Or column either!

Extra Credit Movie(s): Spencer, the well-reviewed not quite a biopic about Princess Dianna starring Kristen Stewart is also coming out this weekend in theaters, but only in limited ones (ie NY and LA). I'll hopefully let you know when it expands (or moves to streaming if it's a fast turnaround in that regard).

ETERNALS
To be clear, the title is not The Eternals, but simply... Eternals. It's like the Madonna, Zendaya or Prince (or or or) of Marvel movies. At least as naming conventions go*. Because to be fair to the name-checked celebrities, they had to earn their one name recognition, whereas Eternals is able to draft off the work of the 25 previous movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). But name recognition and popular sibling associations will only open the door to audiences, it won't necessarily lead them through. Uh, what door? You know, the proverbial one, it's not like a physical, but the... damn it. See, this is why I hate clichés. Point is, awareness won't be this movie's issue, interest will be.

So how interested should you be? I mean, as specified, it's a Marvel movie, so start your interest engines there, or don't even insert the key - depending on. But to be fair to the MCU, their movies are not all exaaaactly the same, but this one is being talked about as the largest departure. Which begs the question, what are the aspects that it make unique?

The most notable is the film's director, Chloé Zhao who recently won multiple Oscars for Nomadland. It's interesting because Zhao's movies to date have been almost the exact opposite of Marvel movies - soft, introspective character studies bereft of any notable action sequences. Reviews say her insistence on shooting in real world locations (vs green screens), and the use of magic hour lighting, gives the movie a look distinct from the rest of the Marvel world.

The next discussable aspect would be the characters. Surprise! They're all new, like new new. As in, none have yet to make an appearance in previous marvel movies; so yes, this is essentially yet another origin story - except this time it's for ten new superheros. That's uh, that's a lot of originating. And they're not just new, but legitimately diverse, in more ways than one - we finally see our first gay Marvel superhero. We even have a *gasp* sex scene. It's apparently brief, but it's also apparently quite clear they're bumpin uglies.

The last unique tidbit worth noting isn't necessarily a good one. Eternals has the "fun" distinction of being the only movie in the MCU to have received enough bad reviews for it to have a "rotten" score on Rotten Tomatoes (yes, that includes The Incredible Hulk and Thor: The Dark World). Which, honestly, kind of makes the movie more intriguing to me. Because per reviews, even if the movie does't always work, it is trying for something.

The focus is said to be more on interpersonal dynamics and feelings in a way no other Marvel movie has been. And that, crossed with the required big action pieces we've come to expect from a superhero movie, as well as the complicated exposition (read: setup), it may not always make for a cohesive film.

But again, it all sounds like Zhao has tried to make a movie within the Marvel machine that gets at more than just eye lasers eyes, evil world ending villains and quips.

So if you're a Marvel completist, you're already watching this one, but if you're just an average fellow with nearly three (!) hours to kill, watching a mashup of indie-cinema and the highest grossing movie franchise of all time might just be an intriguing enough concept to give it a go.

*yes, I know Thor exists, but I wasn't writing this email then so I could't make the "joke" at the time (fun fact: I was actually working on marketing the movie).

Vibe: A Marvel movie, but w/ lots of feelings and tons of golden hour sun

Out   Thursday
Watch  Theaters
The Trailer | 2 hrs 37 mins | R | 🍅: 53%

FINCH

If the world was ending and you had to spend your post-apocalyptic future with one celebrity, who would it be?

I'm sure there'd be tons of variation, but I bet if you did a nationwide poll of that question, Tom Hanks would be at or near the top. That's because Mr. Hanks is a very likable person. Or at least he plays one in movies. And on talk shows. And on social media. And in person. So either he's genuinely a nice, charismatic guy, or an amazing actor, at all times. But as it pertains to Finch, the fact Hanks is enjoyable to watch is a not only a good thing, it's straight up necessary, because he basically is the movie.

Well, as far as the human side of things goes. Because surely you see two other characters up above - a dog and a robot (which, to be fair, was played by a human, and then CGI'd). Their parts are far more than just companion and sidekick. In fact, one could say the dog is the most important character of all. Because without him, there's no plot - which is essentially, man loves dog, dog has given him a reason to live, yet man fears he's dying, so man builds robot to take care dog after he's gone. It's almost disarmingly simple. Which is why it will work for some and make them ugly cry endlessly, and force others to question what the hell they're missing.

Because even though the trailer shows big action pieces, this is a much quieter movie than you might imagine. Contemplative almost. I have extra insight here as I was able to attend a screening on Tuesday and while my eyes weren't quite faucets, plenty of people around me were making sure to stay put during the credits to "honor the crew" (see: let the salty tears dry / wipe the snot away).

So come for the Hanks, but stay for the cobbled together family.

Vibe: meditative, bittersweet post-apocalyptic friendship / redemption story

Out Friday
Watch Apple TV +
The Trailer | 1 hr 55 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 74%

(called out from top, left to right)

Lots of second trailers this week. Starting with another look at the Ridley Scott directed (his second of the year!) House of Gucci. I'm still not sold, but it does star a lot of good actors, sooooooooo.

Sony is so thirsty for the Jared Leto led Morbius to be another Venom, they literally have a joke in the trailer where the titular character says he's Venom. 👅💦

Paul Verhoeven, the Robocop and Showgirls director likes making provocative movies. So he decided to make one about lesbian nuns, one of which who can see and talk to Jesus. And the Catholic church hates it? I mean, yeah, sounds cool to me. Reviews are solid too.

There's also a full trailer for what is sure to be the most literal titled movie of next year, Moonfall. Because in Moonfall, the moon - literally - starts falling into earth. Independence Day, 2012 director Roland Emmerich has apparently not tired of blowing up the planet, yet. That or he's just trying to destroy every major landmark in some very expensive Guinness World Record push. Dunno.

What's In Theaters +

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