TBD

Dec 23, 2021

"I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment?
Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

Fun fact. Whenever I need to type something for test script or just to wake a keyboard, I always use the same phrase - "there is no spoon." I have no idea why. But I've been doing it for long enough I don't remember when I didn't. It could be in part because I use a weird style of typing with mostly my pointer / middle fingers and the letters are set up well for it - yes, I know home row, yes I want to kick your ass in a typing challenge (jay kay, I'd lose).

If you're familiar with this phrase, you might imagine I'm a super fan of the original The Matrix, considering that's where it's from (when Neo goes to meet The Oracle, and talks to that bald monk like kid). It's a fair guess. But while I am A fan, I am not one of THE fans - someone who's steeped in the mythology and is convinced we are in a simulation. Which, if you knew me back in the day, you could be forgiven for thinking is a lie. That's because at the end of high school, I spent way (way) too much money on a gaming PC (733 MHz Pentium 3 Alienware 👶), which came with 5.1 surround speakers and a chunky ass 17 inch CRT monitor. The Matrix was my show piece to tout "the setup." And I was an 18 year old with a pretty toy, so 🐈‍⬛ I showed it off a lot. And thus watched the movie. A lot. To be clear, I did love it when it came out, but it was also just the best for sound and action at the time.

I think what more likely happened than my typing oddities, is that I watched the The Matrix so many times, it just kind of integrated itself into my habits. It's similar to how lines and themes from the movie became imbedded into our culture and lexicon at large. I mean, think of how many things you can recognize from the movie: "a glitch in the Matrix," "I know Kung Fu," "blue pill / red pill." It's similar to how we use "we're not in Kansas anymore," "make my day" or any other super famous quotes from movies so often we almost forget they're from movies. It's kind of just a part of us at this point. Maybe even more so because of The Matrix's thematic "sheeple" thing that often resonates still today.,

So to see a fourth movie coming out, even 18 years after the original trilogy ended, almost feels, idk, inevitable? It's as if the movies never fully went away and now, they haven't. This is also clearly a function of the times we live in where reboots, redos, re-everythings are pervasive as hell. But I guess what better movie to make you feel like you're having deja vu, than the movie that made you question reality by experiencing it. 🐈‍⬛

Btw, there are waaay too many other movies this week, and my loquacious tendencies do me no good in these scenarios. so I tried to mitigate by restricting myself eight words per movie. Seemed fitting. If you can't gather, just click that lil 'ol trailer button why don't you and that should help out.

Oh, and happy holidays ya filthy animals. 🖤

Extra Credit Movie(s): The Joel Coen written / directed (first without his brother) The Tragedy of Macbeth starring Denzel Washington and Frances McDorman is opening in limited theaters on Xmas, but going full Netflix on Jan 14th. I'll give it a feature then, but wanted to let you know in case you're in the "limited" areas (ie. NY / LA). Btw, it's supposed be real good.

Another limited release, from Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar, and starring Penélope Cruz is also out. It's called Parallel Mothers and the reviews are also fantastic (100% actually). It's about two pregnant women, varying in ages, who form a bond over their shared experience.

Eight Movies, Eight Words (per movie)

The Matrix Resurrections
Neo & Trinity reunite in meta nostalgia... game?
Trailer | 🍅69% | Theaters & HBO Max (Wed)

The King's Man
A prequel to the spicier James Bond wannabes
Trailer | 🍅43% | Theaters (Wed)

Sing 2
You'll sing too, in pop focused number two
Trailer | 🍅69% | Theaters (Wed)

Licorice Pizza
Paul. Thomas. Anderson. Anything more is unnecessary, capiche?
Trailer | 🍅92% | Theaters (Xmas)

The Tender Bar
Ben tends bar in familiar coming of age
Trailer | 🍅49% | Theaters (Wed)

Journal for Jordan
Weepy TV movie lookin romance, but Michael BJ...
Trailer | 🍅44% | Theaters (Xmas)

Don't Look Up
Satire w/ stars about an asteroid from stars
Trailer | 🍅55% | Netflix (Xmas Eve)

American Underdog
Story so good, could be a movie. Wait...
Trailer | 🍅83% | Theaters (Xmas)

(called out from top, left to right)

If there was any other person who possibly could've played the lead in The Northman, the next Robert Eggers movie (The Witch, The Lighthouse), I'm pretty sure Alexander Skarsgård already murdered them,

Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum used to be in a movie called The Lost City of D, but not it's just The Lost City. I like the original title more.

Noomi Rapace is just getting into all sorts of weird shit this year. First it was rearing a Lamb child, now it's doing bonkers witch shit in You're Not Alone. Looks cool though.

Most of the time indie sci-fi movies look, well, like indie sci-fi movies. Strawberry Mansion fits both of those categories. But it also looks kinda good!

They don't make 'em like that anymore. Well, "they" being studios that release movies in theaters. Streamers? They love them some romantic comedies, hence why Amazon is releasing I Want You Back.

What's In Theaters +

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