"There’s a layer of respect, admittedly,
for your truthfulness, peppered with hate.
Hateful respect."
PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.
I'm honestly at a bit of a loss this week. Let me explain.
There are two movies receiving nation-wide releases this week. K? So what's the issue? Grab the info, write your silly little pieces and let us get on with our lives. That's what I'd normally do, with most movies, but I, I just don't want to.
....k....?
If you've ben reading this newsletter with any sort of regularity, you've "heard" me wax poetic on the subjectivity of movies. Which is still a notion I think has value. But maybe sometimes, subjectivity could use a little kick in the ass? 🤷♂️
See, the first movie is a faith-based story (based on a book) about young a girl who's sold into slavery and forced to do sex work in the mid-1800's. She grows up, hates life, but then is eventually "saved" by a devout religious farmer - who pays for her time so he can continual propose to take her away her from her horrid life. Think of it like a religious Nicholas Sparks movie. It's technically titled Redeeming Love, but I've just been calling it Ew, Gross - because that's literally what I said when I first watched the trailer. I came to dislike the idea of featuring it even more after I started reading reviews. Needless to say there are few fans with its current 9% RT score. Without wasting your time on digging into what bugs me about, I'll let you come to your own conclusions by watching the trailer.
Sounds good. And while I see you up on there on the peak of your moral mountain, how bout you come back down for a minute cuz I thought you said there were two movies? Just feature that one.
Right. And let's talk about that second movie. Because I've actually seen it.
Seven years ago.
Um, how? The damn thing isn't even being released in theaters until this Friday? Your confusion is understandable. But this exemplifies what is called the proverbial "shelf." As in, the rights sat at Paramount well into last year, until it was bought by an independent distributor who decided it was a good idea to give it a theatrical release. I don't think I agree with them.
The movie is called The King's Daughter and it was supposed to be released waaaaay back in 2015; I was on Paramount's marketing team at the time. We all watched it, started coming up with ideas on how to tell people about it, and poof, it was off the release schedule, never to show up again. Until now.
The first time I watched the trailer, I didn't even remember I'd seen the whole film nearly a decade ago. It just seemed vaguely familiar, as if it was some sort of dreamlike association. And then I realized, "holy shit, it's that movie. The mermaid movie." Mermaid?! Oh yeah, I'll get to that. I was surprised in part of course because it had been so long, but also because the movie was, well, bad. Or maybe it's better to describe it as boring .
Like the first movie we discussed, it has production value (it was filmed at Versailles after all) and even cast decent actors - Pierce Brosnan plays a dickish Louis XIV. It's another movie based on a book; and while maybe the fantasy tale of an ego centric king trying to steal a mermaid's soul so he can live forever works in novel format, it had a rough translation to the screen.
So the TL;DR version of all this is, I don't want to waste your time (more than I already have) featuring movies I'm quite sure 99% of you won't want to see. Instead, I took the next section to call out a few good / great movies from last year you could give a shot.
Or hell, just email me and ask me what you should watch. I'm around!
Extra Credit (Movies): Only goal this week is just not to fail your primary duties.
Go catch up on some of the last year's gems, like Netflix's intense, quiet, but very good The Power of the Dog, or Ryan Reynold's goofy, but fun Free Guy. How about Will Smith as Serena / Venus Williams' relentless force of a dad in King Richard?
Definitely check out Dune if you haven't (make sure you have the best sound / screen possible!). CODA on Apple TV+ is still probably the feel good winner of last year. In my unofficial random deciding.
Or maybe Belfast which you can watch at home now (it may be $20, but watch it with a small crew and just consider it a cheaper night than going to the actual theater); it seems to have a legitimate shot at getting the Best Picture Academy Award this year.
But yeah, basically anything by the above. 😅
(called out from top, left to right)
Similar situation for trailers, with few notables. Most interesting is a survival movie from Netflix that stars your friendly neighborhood child (attempted) murderer, sister loving, Mr. Jamie Lannister.
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