Word of the day is... "schadenfreude"
"Who is your daddy,
and what does he do?"
PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.
Finally. We have some movies this week.
They may not be for everyone, but they are for someone.
JACKASS FORE❤️ER
It's Jackass. What else do you want me to tell you?
How about that even as the core cast either approaches or is past 50 years old, they're doing this all again (for the last time?). But understanding their age, they may have brought along a few new friends (and are missing a few too 😢).
Or how about - in a case of either the show / movie franchise changing culture, or culture "catching up" - this is the highest and easily most well liked of the movies by critics (89%!).
Or maybe that people who criticized it for so long, might've missed something - in large part because their view was obscured by the nut shots, bull "fights" and poo-cocktails. That Jackass, for all its inane, ridiculousness, is at the core of it, about having fun and laughing with your friends, and more often, laughing at your friends. And that laughter, especially the glorious cackle of Johnny Knoxville who started and introduces it all, is infectious and reason enough to see other humans almost die or suffer through things you can barely imagine attempting.
Or maybe I'm just needlessly trying to ruminate on something some people will never get.
Which... when I remember that the second movie (appropriately titled "Number Two") had cast member Chris Pontius drink horse semen, I get it.
But millions of people don't get it, er, do get it? Whatever. This literary path has turned inward on itself.
In summation: It's more Jackass.
And that should be about all the information you need.
Fun Aside: when the movie was originally supposed to come out last year, GQ did a profile on Knoxville. It's far more interesting and almost wistful than you might think. If you're even semi-curious, I encourage a read.
Vibe: the silliest shit ever put on film - and maybe some of the funniest
Out Friday
Watch Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 36 mins | R | 🍅: 89%
MOONFALL
Dude.
What?
I just a crazy idea. What if...
...yeah?...
What if the moon...
...uh uh...
Wasn't actually the moon.
No way. Then what the hell is it?!
A structure built to help aliens destroy the earth!!
Shut. It. Shut your damn face hole, right now. That is aaaaaahhhh-mazing.
What you just read is in fact not the conversing of two people who just took far too many edibles, but instead, my fictional telling of how the initial pitch went for the movie Moonfall. And to be honest, it's probably not as far off as you think. All director Roland Emmerich needs is the kernel of some idea, which then allows him to go off and build a world - just so he can destroy it.
Emmerich has found innumerable ways to destroy bridges and crush buildings: giant alien ship lasers (Independency Day), Wooly Mammoths (10,000 B.C.), earthquakes (2012), massive waves (The Day After Tomorrow, uh, 2012 again, Moonfall apparently), not to mention tornadoes, meteors, raging fires and on and on.
Point is, dude knows how to fuck shit it up. But it's always in um, good fun? Well, as always, that's a matter of perspective. But at least he's self-aware about all of it, "It’s this certain style of movie that I think we invented. There is a certain cheesiness to it, but there’s also realism, a lot of action, and then there are a lot of jokes." That's Emmerich in a recent interview.
Now, just because he's conscious of the silliness he's putting on screen doesn't mean you're going to enjoy it more. But people often talk about wanting something "mindless" so they can "turn their brain off," and well, pretty sure you not going to have to think too much for this one. But you will have guides, aka lead actors, for this journey into annihilation - Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson and John Bradley (John Bradley? Yeah! Samwell! From Game of Thrones! Oh! Cool!) will be there to yell, laugh, cry and ultimately live through shit they definitely shouldn't live through.
Vibe: CRASH! AAAAHHH!!! KAROOSH!! WEEE OOHHH WEEE OOHHH!! HANG ON!! NOOOOOOOO!!
Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 2 hrs 4 mins | R | 🍅: TBD
(called out from top, left to right)
A (well-reviewed) meditative sci-fi on what it is to be a human.
A direct sequel to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (watch the og if you haven't, it's real good) a la the what they did with the recent Halloween.
Aaaaand a little who-be-good who-be-bad thriller that'll be on Hulu soon enough.
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