TBD

Feb 09, 2022

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

The Academy Award nominations came out yesterday. No big surprises if you've been paying attention to critic's takes over the last year. The one sorta surprise to some people may be the movie Drive My Car. I mentioned it a few weeks back, but it's a Japanese drama about someone literally driving someone's car, but it's also, of course, about much more than that. It might be the most well liked movie of the year, critics-wise (anecdotally of course).

But the movie with the most nominations (12) was The Power of the Dog, the Jane Campion (who also made The Piano) directed Netflix western drama starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons (married to Dunst) and Kodi Smit-McPhee - all were nominated for best acting too.

In a fun pre-cursor to the announcement, I hung out with a friend over the weekend (we went to see Jackass Forever - damn it's funny) and he mentioned he had watched The Power of the Dog. He haaaaated it. His partner too. Like one of those "oh my god why would anyone ever like that movie, my gawwwwd" sorta reactions. I'm talkin' vi-sce-ral. I shouldn't need to qualify, but will succumb and just add he's super smart, has great taste, and is an overall lovely person.

I seem to talk endlessly about the subjectivity of movies, and while this is sorta that, what I thought about after was more the fervency with which he didn't enjoy the movie. And I quite love that he didn't. I mean, personally I very much enjoyed it, but I know the feeling of just being revolted by a piece of cinema. Sometimes you don't like a movie and sometimes you fucking loathe it (hello The Social Dilemma!). Because if you do have a negative reaction, it's usually way more fun to be in the latter camp. And I'm not talking "haters gonna hate" kinda shit, like you're just being contrarian, but like the feeling wells up inside you and you can almost taste the disdain and can call out exactly why everything was just total shite. Even as I present this somewhat caustic notion, I don't mean to say it's polite or even right to express to the people who made the art, but just, yeah. It's all personal of course. I guess I could compare it to how people often describe looking at a paintings and determining what you, sometimes a piece just does something for you. And this, is just the opposite.

So while the Motion Picture Academy selects what it thinks are the years best movies, they may not be your favorite movies. In fact, they may even highlight some of your mortal cinematic enemies. And as always, that's a-ok.

DEATH ON THE NILE

The previous movie in this now I guess franchise, based on the Agatha Christie novels, Murder on the Orient Express, is somewhat significant for me. Not because I'm some huge fan, but because it was featured in , way back in November of 2017(!!).

I looked back and was wondering if I could just plop in what I said then, now. While my overviews have changed a bit, and the cast is obviously different, I mean, yeah, I probably could. It's still Kenneth Branagh directing and acting as Hercule Poirot (try and pronounce it, I dare you) in a decades ago set story about muuuuuurder. The crime itself is of course different, but the general attitude and Branagh's mustache are quite unchanged.

And because we now have a murder on a train and boat, I thought to myself when consider this piece, what's next, death on a plane, hah. Turns out, Christie - posthumously - was like "hah, yeah, motherfucker, it is." But to be fair, Death in the Clouds is a pretty rad title - but what else should I expect from the best selling author of all time.

It's of course to be determined if we'll have more Branagh version Poirot in our lives, but in the mean time, check this out if you're interested in some old-timey, high production value, star studded, straightforward murder mystery tale.

Vibe: a whose who of a Hollywood whodunit

Out   Friday
Watch   Theaters
The Trailer | 2 hrs 7 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 69%

BLACKLIGHT

We are now 13 years into the Liam Neeson being an "aging action star" phenomenon (counting Taken as the kick off point). The man is now 69 years old. We have no right to act is we're surprised it keeps happening. He either enjoys the roles, the attention, the money or some combination thereof; in his own words he's "getting away with it." And it doesn't really matter, the movies exist, people choose to watch them and more producers send Neeson their scripts. And some of the scripts are better than others...

Whereas some of his fist punching gets zhuzhed up with a lil high-concept stuff or just some dark comedy, a la the Norwegian remake Cold Pursuit, most of his endeavors are just Neeson under duress, talking to someone on a phone (no, seriously), and kickin' ass. Don't expect anything different here.

Vibe: Liam Neesonssss!!!!

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 45 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 13%

MARRY ME

Marry Me - no, that wasn't a proposal, unless, you uh, you want it to be? 😅 🥰 - looks like one of those (kinda) big budget romantic-comedies theaters were used to popping up on their screens way back in the 90's and 00's. But there was a fairly precipitous drop in theatrical market share in 2012 (whether due to audience interest or studio output - or both?) from which the genre hasn't recovered.

But that's theaters. People have still been watching the shit out of some form of will or won't they stories - just mostly on streaming platforms. But J. Lo was all like, "I'm J. Lo god damn it" and we were all like, "We know J. Lo! We like you J. Lo!" and J. Lo was like "shut up! J. Lo is talking," and we all said "right. sorry J. Lo!"

So yeah, Marry Me stars (surprise!) Jennifer Lopez and is getting a theatrical release. The somewhat surprising fact here may be her romantic co-star, which is Owen Wilson. Although, upon watching the trailer, you're like, yeah he totally feels right as an everyman who accidentally marries a superstar at a random concert he took his daughter to.

It's all ridiculous of course, but it's also a traditional looking romantic comedy. I think it's like a contractual requirement or something. No idea if it's going to be good since reviews are being held (not a great sign). But if you think that's gonna stop people from watching their beloved J. Lo, that well, is what you think. And who am I to disagree?

Vibe: as if Maid in Manhattan had been made yesterday

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 52 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: TBD

I WANT YOU BACK

Oh man, it's another romantic comedy. It's almost as if Valentine's Day is coming up or something cuz this is kind of... oh shit, Valentine's Day is coming up. *frets for a second, realizes his partner doesn't care either and mentally moves on*

While many rom-coms back in the day took the uncommonly pretty leads and gave them a few cute scenarios, I Want You Back took people who are generally known more for their comedy and gave 'em a bucket of romance to play with (don't ask what a bucket of romance is, please).

You can imagine it'll still end with some canoodling, but along the way Jenny Slate (Parks and Rec) and Charlie Day (It's Always Funny in Philadelphia) will likely do some fun comedy"ing" as they team up and try and get their respective exes back - but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Now, to be fair to Slate, she did star in the very good Obvious Child rom-com (that also saw a fresh take on discussing abortion in movies) so this isn't exactly completely fresh territory for her. And to be fair to reality, even if there's some casting newness, reviews say you shouldn't expect a ton more than the expected, but you should expect a solid version of it.

*questions for a second whether his partner really doesn't care...*

Vibe: com-rom

Out Friday
Watch Amazon Prime
The Trailer | 1 hr 51 mins | R | 🍅: 86%

(called out from top, left to right)

We finally get a trailer for the next movie from Alex Garland, who wrote / directed Ex Machina as well as the under-seen (under-appreciated?) Annihilation.

There's another trailer for Lightyear, which is a kind of super confusing. But turns out, it's a movie within a movie - per the director, if it's "In the Toy Story universe, it would be like a movie that maybe Andy would have seen, that would have made him want a Buzz Lightyear figure." So yeah.

Another Firestarter. Nope, not that kind (RIP). The kind written by Stephen King and the role previously played by Drew Barrymore.

Lastly there's Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl) doing the pulpy murder mystery Netflix thing.

What's In Theaters +

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