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Feb 23, 2022

"Once again, things that coulda
been brought to my attention
YESTERDAY!"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

Tom Brady is making moves. Sorry, I forgot the I. He's making movIES. And he's bringing some legit actors with him (Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, Sally Field, Lily Tomlin).

He is certainly not the first athlete to wanna "turn Hollywood." Hell, The Rock was a former football player, but he blew out his knee (I think?), and he did all right. But it's become more and more calculated than it seemed to be back in the day, when Brett Favre randomly showed up in Something About Mary. Instead of just starring in things here and there, now you form a production company so you get to control the projects and narrative a little bit more. For example Brady, via his 199 Production company (why 199 btw? Cuz he was picked second in the sixth round of the NFL draft - aka 199th overall) is producing the afore alluded to movie, 80 for Brady. While his name is in the title, he won't be carrying it, acting-wise. Which is smart. Because my guess is, Brady isn't a great actor. Yet. And maybe never? But that doesn't mean he can't "do stuff."

Now, you don't need to necessarily be a great "actor" to do media stuff, you just need people to pay attention. I mean, hell, if some dude who starred in one season of FBoy Island can turn that shit into a "career," pretty sure Mr. Seven Rings will be able to parlay his fame into a sustainable post football career.

All seems like the logical forward progress of a world where our "personal brand" matters more than the personal.

Extra Credit Movies: Netflix was able to lure Tyler Perry back into the Madea makeup for A Madea Homecoming. I know it's not, but I secretly hope this entry was named after Spider-Man: Homecoming and the next Madea movie will be called, Madea Far Away From Home and she takes the family on a European vacation and then to round out the trilogy there'll be Madea No Way Home and it's just Madea and her car breaks down and she has to walk, but like a bunch of random hijinks happen. Anyway, point is, there's a new Madea movie on Netflix this weekend (the 10th - I think?!).

Also. The band Foo Fighters made a movie. It's called Studio 666. It's actually the only legit "wide" release this weekend (playing in over 2K theaters). So why am I not giving it a full feature? Um, honestly, cuz when I saw the first trailer, I thought it was gonna be a direct to streaming thing. It's not (clearly). But I imagine most people will see the Foo Fighters in a horror-comedy where they make their new album in a haunted house and think, that'll be fun for super fans - so if you are one of those, this is your chance to prove it. (note: does not have terrible reviews!)

CYRANO

I keep debating on where to start this one; I've been oscillating between centering our discussion on our titular star, Peter Dinklage, who almost everyone on earth has come to know as Tyrion Lannister, or director Joe Wright, a filmmaker so in love with love he's responsible for some of the most grandiose reflections on it over the past two decades (see: Atonement, Anna Karenina, & Pride and Prejudice) or potentially the story itself, one so popular it's been responsible for countless iterations and inspirations.

But maybe I should start at the beginning, 1987 to be exact. Uh, 1987? You sure you didn't flip a few numbers and mean 1897, when the play 'Cyrano de Bergerac' was written? Nope. 1987, the year the movie Roxanne, starring Steve Martin, came out. Because that was my first exposure to the story of the long-snouted lover. And if this newsletter is anything, it's a self-reflection. And speaking of self-reflections (segue alert!), this movie and the tale of Mr. de Bergerac is obsessed with them. I remember laughing at Martin with his long-ass nose, trying to woo Darryl Hannah. But I was young, ignorant in the ways of love and deep internal struggles (has that changed? hmm), so to me it was just a fun, goofy movie. I wasn't aware it was based on a poem / play that is a rival to Romeo and Juliet for classic love story of all time.

But while this version is more true to the original in some ways than the comedy classic (time period, swordplay), it also carries its own departures - namely that it's a musical and instead of a long nose, Cyrano's "disfigurement" is that he's of a smaller stature. This variance originated in part because the 2018 stage version, on which the movie is based, was written by none other that Dinklage's wife, Erica Schmidt (who also wrote the script here). Dinklage performed the part on stage, as did his co-star Haley Bennett (The Girl on the Train, Swallow) who embodies Roxanne. Schmidt was also a fan of the band The National, and worked with members to create the songs for both play and movie (brothers Aaron and Bryce Dessner did the music and lead singer Matt Berninger, along with his wife Carin Besser, handled lyrics). Fun.

But even with these alterations and modernizations, the core is still there - the love triangle, the self-doubt, the word play and witticisms as well as, of course, the tragedy. And even if it hurts, that's in part why we come back, right? And reviewers are noting Dinklage's charm and wit purveys throughout and makes his connection to Bennett's Roxanne feel real, and the ending that much more impactful. Btw, the Christian character, aka the pretty face, is played by Kelvin Harrison Jr. from Waves and Luce (both great movies he was great in). So all in all, it should satisfy if you're in the loving movie mood.

And btw if you, like me, often fear an entirely lyrical movie when you read "musical," I'm here to let you know the whole movie is not in song, only here and there - think more 90's Disney than Cats (actually, scratch that - lol - don't even think about Cats at all, that's likely doing this movie a disservice).

Vibe: an earnest modern take on a classic love story without the modern wink and nod

Out Friday
Watch (Somewhat Limited) Theaters
The Trailer | 2 hrs 4 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 88%

(called out from top, left to right)

Elvis - Baz Lurhmann takes on "The King."

Hustle - Adam Sandler in a basketball movie (note: he loves bball in real life too). Kinda seems to be trying for Uncut Gems vibes, but highly doubt it's gonna be that good.

Lucy and Desi - a documentary directed by Amy Poehler on the famous couple. Will be on Amazon Prime, thus paired with the recent Being the Ricardos.

Happening - a french movie about a young woman seeking an abortion when it was still illegal in 1960's France. Really good reviews.

What's In Theaters +

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