You're dating yourself. Literally.

Mar 09, 2022

"There are no red lights,
in a car chase!!!"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

For the last couple weekends I've been doing a Saturday morning cartoon revival, except it's been on Sunday. My gf and I decided (ok, I decided) to start with the original Ducktales, which began airing in 1987. Beyond discovering tons of gems I missed when I last watched - most of them coming from Launchpad - it made me think of a few pieces I've read recently about how new music isn't just competing with other new music, but the old stuff too - and by share of hours, the old stuff is "winning."

That's kind of always somewhat been the case (the competing, not the winning), but with streaming music platforms, which hold so much of our sonic history, you can access any of it for your monthly fee vs having to go out and buy a record / tape / cd / 8-track. If you've watched Euphoria at all, you hear the characters listening to tons of 90's music. Sure, that's in large part because creator Sam Levinson is in his 30's, but also because the 90's are hot shit and accessing that era's hits is real easy to do.

But thinking about how this has worked out for music and watching a show that's 35 years old is making me wonder, how does this all play out for visual content? We all know (do we?) how popular The Office and Friends are. But are people still watching those shows in 15 years?

Music has the benefit of course of not being tied to our visual reference. The more time passes, the more Friends looks dated. Now, it's held up pretty well so far, but in another twenty years? But pull this thread even further, say 100 years. What does our content consumption look like then? I bet a decent chunk will still be listening to The Beatles with some regularity, but The Godfather? Does that just become a historical reference watch like most movies by Charlie Chaplin, or are people actively watching it for enjoyment?

And back to the beginning, cartoons benefit far more than live action stuff here. Hell, I grew up on Tom and Jerry and that was already ancient by the time I saw it. I'd love to see the breakdown from Disney, which holds so many animated classics, on the overall viewing habits of Disney + users.

But unless I got a job there (and Netflix, and Paramount+ and, and, and...) and leaked all the data, I don't think we'll likely ever get to see all this info in one big overview. That's because unlike the music industry, which has two agnostic platforms funneling all the stuff and has the RIAA compiling all their information, Hollywood has split up into a bunch of proprietary platforms which are data hoarders. Movies have the public view via box office, but the streaming side has kinda flipped that upside down.

Unfortunately, I'm not leading to some big revelation I can drop on you. It's just another thought I'm writing down. Pondering. I'd love to be able to time travel for a hot second and see what it'll be like, but that's not possible. Or is it... (SEGUE ALERT!)

Extra Credit Movies: Zac Efron is a pretty man. He has a movie where he gets very unpretty - emotionally. Ok, and physically too. It's called Gold and it's about well, just that. He's actually getting some decent reviews for carrying a movie where it's basically him chillin in the desert trying to hold onto the biggest wealth he's likely ever to come upon.

There's also Offseason, which looks like a "small," but well done (critics say it is) and weird horror movie about a haunted island. Nothing crazy, but it's streaming this Friday, so if you've wanting some new in that genre, take a look!

THE ADAM PROJECT

If you could hang out with your younger self, would you?

It seems like a duh answer. I mean, how cool, right? But after that initial novelty wears off, I bet many of us might start to think...hmmm, maybe that's not such a good idea. What happens if I don't like the old me? I mean, haven't I worked hard to be who I am? Or worse, what happens if I haven't changed at all?? Oh god, what if my less aged copy is all, that's who I turn into? I mean, digs from a kid are bad, but when that kid is you?  *shudder*

Apparently it's not so obvious an answer after all.

But if you're Ryan Reynolds starring in (and producing) a nostalgic sci-fi adventure in the vein of 80's Spileberg where buddying-up with your nearly teenage self means finding your boo and reconnecting with your dead dad to help save the future? Well then, I mean, yeah, DUH. But that's the upside of characters in movies, they get the benefit of perfect circumstances and nicely resolved endings - oh, and writers who provide quips, lots and lots of quips.

But this is a Ryan Reynolds movie, the quips come standard. What may not be expected is a bit more heart and feeling that the marketing, and Reynolds himself, are really trying to hammer is a part of The Adam Project. So while the movie is certainly going to have its comedic moments and big action sequences befit its "blockbuster" tagging, it does seem like we may get to exercise some of the tear ducts we were so graciously provided by evolution.

That's because director director Shawn Levy, who also partnered with Reynolds on last year's Free Guy, seems to be trying to get at a few emotional cores here. First: resolving one's understanding of our parents - because if you meet a version of your parents who are the same age as you are, it's gotta be hard not to have a little more empathy (Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner play the parents of Reynolds' / Walker Scobell who is Reynold's mini-me). Second: how we treat / view ourselves. Because as noted in our first paragraph, maybe sometimes people are a little unforgiving to the one they know best - especially the version of themselves that was twelve years old. And hey, couldn't we all use a break from self-critique here and there?

Now, I can't tell you if critics say it all works together, because Netflix has held it all pretty close - both the larger story and reviews. But I follow Reynolds on Twitter (you're obsessed) and he's been retweeting a bunch of positive takes from people they've screened the movie for. He's only slightly biased, so take that as you will, but the sheer number and fervency seems to indicate it's worthy of a watch.

Plus, at the very least, you're supporting another original story - ie not a sequel, prequel or reboot. Which isn't nuthin these here days.

Vibe: that modern nostalgia tip - with quips

Out   Friday
Watch   Netflix
The Trailer | 1 hr 46 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: TBD

TURNING RED

Puberty. Periods. ...Pixar?

Yup.

Pixar's first full-length movie, Toy Story, came out nearly 27 years ago, and the studio was founded nearly ten years before that. At this point the animation house is a full fledged AH-dult. So it seems about time they're openly tackling topics that while incredibly common, are still often talked about in hushes or whispers (although increasingly less so).

Now, to be clear, Turning Red is no Big Mouth (the animated show on Netflix that gets in there, and then just. keeps. going.) but that's ok, because there's more than enough room to tell varying stories. And this looks to be a very good one.

The movie was co-written and directed by Domee Shi, who's helming her first feature, but previously made the adorably awesome (and Oscar winning) short, Bao - which played before Incredibles 2. Red, in many ways, looks to reflect Shi's personal story. Both the main character, 13 year old Meilin Lee (Mei for short), and Shi are Chinese-Canadian. They both grew / are growing up in Toronto, and are people who went / going through fundamental changes in their life. The animated Mei just happens to turn into a big red furry panda when she's embarrassed, angry or lusty. Did you just say "lusty??" Indeed I did. See, Mei exists in 2002 and boy bands were super popular then. Mei and her friends are obsessed w/ one in particular, the five(!) member band named 4*Town. And maybe sometimes she draws stuff about them. What of it?

Mei oooobviously doesn't enjoy when her mom finds her drawings, but then again, Mei doesn't much like a lot of what her mom is doing these days. Even if up to this point in her life she was a "model kid." Who cares if mom wants to protect her and perform an ancient ritual, one all women in their family have gone through, to exercise Mei of this fluffy giant creature. Maybe Mei even likes her new emotions and doesn't wanna let them go. Plus, the ritual is on the same night of the 4*Town concert and fuck if she's gonna miss that shit.

Sorry, channeling my inner thirteen year old girl a little too hard. But like many great coming of age stories, Turning Red looks to be both universal and individual. And that individuality is a highlight here as this is the first Pixar movie solely directed by a woman (Brave almost was) and the fact the lead is a young asian female stands in contrast to most Pixar protagonists.

The fact it's streaming only on Disney + (outside of the Disney owned El Capitain in LA) is somewhat of a bummer, but then again, Encanto seemed to become an even bigger hit after it hit the streamer, where its key audience (kids) could watch it over and over and over (and over!) again.

Oh, also worth noting that the 4*Town songs were made by Billy Eilish and her brother Finneas.

Vibe: that Pixar magic

Out Friday
Watch Disney +
The Trailer | 1 hr 46 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 94%

(called out from top, left to right)

There's another trailer for the "sexy thriller" Deep Water, starring Ana de Arma and Ben Affleck. But honestly, you might be better off sticking with the teaser, which definitely teased, over this which might tease a bit too much.

Richard Linklater looks to have combined a few of his loves - rotoscoping and nostalgia - for Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Childhood.

I imagine Judd Apatow was like yeah, I mean someone will probably do it. Why not me? So he made The Bubble. A movie about making a movie during "the bullshit." Seems kinda shrug-worthy though.

And finally, a red band for the Nic Cage fest that is The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Another reminder that they really need a best title category for the Academy Awards.

What's In Theaters +

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